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IP mentioning that people love to complain reminded me that I wanted to make a thread for all of us to complain in concerning stupid shit that people say way too often.
I'm sick of hearing people say "shots fired!"
In before "literally" and "obviously." Those are easy ones.
Irregardless is not a word.
"actually" when used too often.
My son called me out on this one. I don't know how it entered my lexicon, but it was a bitch getting rid of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by M
Maybe this is endemic to my workplace, but misunderstanding of the 80/20 rule. The 80/20 rule is about the tendency of 20% of the causes accounting for 80% of the results e.g., 20% of employees making 80% of the of complaints, 20% of products accounting for 80% of profits, etc. It does not mean "This thing works 80% of the time," or "This is true 80% of the time." I hear managers drop "well, 80/20 rule" as a kind of trump card to defend their B- ideas and processes all the time.
I'm not sure if these match the intent of the thread, but there aren't too many easier ways to look completely uneducated than to type "could of" or say "I seen."
Definitely on topic is "pop." It's fucking soda, and "Coke" is a specific product and brand name, just like "Kleenex" or "Q-tip."
Also, I don't give a damn if the dictionary has been dumbed down to let you get away with it; it's "all right" and not "alright."
Also, "...said no one ever." You're basically just going "...NOT!" in 2015. I'm embarrassed for you.
I like that one, though I never would have thought of it.
"On accident" bothers me. I know it's becoming idiomatic, but it just sounds bad. If you don't like "by accident" just say "accidentally".
What's worse is when people complain about this, and then use the word "Dumpster" instead of waste disposal bin.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshi
There's definitely a notion of spending 20% of the time/work required to address 80% of the use cases or to take most things through a critical path, though. But I'm not sure what your management is talking about.Quote:
Originally Posted by A Robot Bit Me
Yeah, but that's not how they use it. They use it to justify something that only works 4/5 times.
I like Joust's unintentional introduction of "use cases" to the thread. I don't know where that phrase came from, but its gross overuse has become incredibly annoying.
edit: He added "critical path" too!
The Youth seems to say 'epic' and 'win' a lot, in terms of what things are full of.
Not a complaint so much as an observation. These kids don't draw a line between keyboard talk and real people talk-- that used to just be a nerd thing, now it's everybody.
I "shake my head" when I hear any using pidgin internet phrases like "I feel the feels" or "I can't even".
you can't go one post in this thread without trying to derail it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshi
I'm waiting for Chao to come in here and drop a list of phrases from his management.
is there any actual data to back up the 80/20 rule? It seems to be something thrown around a lot in self help business books.Quote:
Originally Posted by A Robot Bit Me
Any and all business speak can be added to the list. Shit Rolls Down hill, Critical Path, Key Process Information (or worse KPI), Success Factors, Opportunity for Improvement (or OFI, or worse, managers that say it like Offey's), etc, etc.
No one that actually does anything related to that shit uses those words. Its called doing your job. Just do your fucking job. You don't need KPIs. You just need to do your fucking job. Too much stuff to do at your job? Do the most important part of your job. Do it.
Are you serious? KPIs in and of themselves aren't a thing (and I think most people here know how I feel about management in general ;/), but well-thought out ones are. It's hard to improve what you aren't measuring.
for Yoshi:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Use_case
So my point was that software development doesn't aim to address every use case, but in a limited budget (time/money/otherwise), the most important ones are dealt with. Addressing all of them would cause expenditures to rise non-linearly.
Seriously? Do you know who Pareto actually was?Quote:
Originally Posted by Fe 26
"It is what it is". I hate that phrase.
its still business speak for "measure and do the most important things" which should be obvious. And it has been obvious sense like, the industrial age. It was probably obvious before that. Successful dukes and lords were probably watching those things that made them successful.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joust Williams
Its needless. People were not just running around screaming before the term, KPI. And if they were, the invention of the word probably didn't stop it. They probably just have lots of meetings about KPI's, mismanage their people, and then continue to run around screaming.
If you just mean the acronym "KPI," then I agree with you. Joust is 100% right about the concept though. If you use metrics correctly, you're not going to mismanage your people.
Yes. An asshole.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshi
I'm aware that he studied property and wealth distribution in Italy and other places. I'm aware that it almost always broke down to 20% of the population owning 80% of the wealth.
BUT, did he or anyone else actually study the few 1000 other things that the 80/20 rule is applied to? When your bosses says that 20% of his employees make 80% of mistakes, has anyone studied that or is he just repeating something from the MAKEMONEYNOW book he got from Barnes and Noble?
No one is saying that business shouldn't measure things. Don't derail the thread with that nonsense. The thread is about words.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshi
You know, like how soda pop the thing is ok. It is ok that it exist on this planet. But you don't like when people call Sprite, Coke. The Sprite is still ok, you just don't like this word other people are using for it?
You know, words? The topic of the thread?
How do you make those two posts back-to-back? If the business is measuring things, then the 80/20 rule is one of the simplest things there is to "test."
On topic, I hate the words 'blog' and 'app'
"I'm not gonna lie." Well I'd hope you have the courtesy without having to point it out.
Management actually looking at the data for the things that leave their mouth is a dubious claim.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshi
Like, I do machine downtime at work monthly. I even make a ....Par..eto Chart. It has NEVER matched the 80/20 rule. Never, ever.
And yet you'll hear some dumb fuck manager say "80/20"
It doesn't mean anything to them. Its just a buzz word to them. Just something to throw out there to look like they know what they're talking about.
It would be so easy to "test" but I don't see anyone doing it. So I question if anyone has actually tested it for the majority of the behaviors that managers like to attribute to it.
I hate app too. I hate that 15 years ago you could just say Program, Software and Application and people would know what you were talking about and now the dominate word is app because we're all too fucking lazy to say application.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joust Williams
Its even worse when it is used as a buzz word for "great idea" for a completely unrelated field. Like, "we need a killer app to sell these used cars"
You're discussing the actual utilization of these things in real life, Yoshi is discussing the way they're supposed to be used. One of you needs to switch gears.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fe 26
Vaguely related: My management recently tried to push a policy that would quite literally endanger the lives of patients, refused to implement the procedures that would be needed for it to not increase the chances of killing people as much, and then falsified data to try and prove to higher ups that their program was working and they were measuring things when they weren't. When in doubt, make it up, I suppose.
Now back to the discussion of hated phrases.
"Might can" instead of "might be able to."
Also, "the struggle is real."
And whenever I see "trope," particularly in a video game or movie review, I close the tab.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
Quote:
Now back to the discussion of hated phrases.
I was using it with the proper defined version of the word.
Overuse is just as annoying as misuse.
Not saying you personally use it too often, but plenty of people around me do. So now it's forever ruined.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew
what?
Heard it a lot in Louisiana. For example, "I might can meet you at 7, if the gumbo hootenanny doesn't run late."Quote:
Originally Posted by Joust Williams
Canadians say pop. Americans soda.
Sorry, I just wanted to point that out.
Yankees say pop too. It's odd. No one cares.
Maybe it's my proximity to the great white north, but I've always heard carbonated drinks referred to as soda, pop, and sodapop. No one blinks an eye.
The South's deal with calling all soda "coke" is fucking weird though.
Here in central Ohio it's pop almost always. I started saying soda back as a teenager to sound weird and it stuck with me.
"Might could" is popular in Maryland.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew
Go grab me an orange coke.Quote:
Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name
I have not heard anyone call it all "coke" since like 1987. I'm not saying people don't still do it. But for as long as I can remember people have used a catch all of "drinks" to also cover bottled water and sweet tea.Quote:
Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name
"what drink would you like?" "Would you like a drink?" "What are you drinking?" etc
There's a few phrases here and there that annoy me, but I say "literally" "ngl" "smh" "i cant even" etc so much that it's just part of life now.
The only one that will make me actually correct someone is "Nu-cu-ler." It's NU-CLEAR.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoASZyihalc
---
"He crushed it" "They're crushing it" "I crushed it"
Fuck you.
This makes me laugh every time.
I just wanted to point out that it's not wrong, it's just what different people call it.Quote:
Originally Posted by YellerDog
"I'm just sayin'"
Fuck your smug face.
That's goes hand in hand with "no offense, but..."
It's not uncommon to hear soda on the West Coast of Canada even though it's the less common of the two.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brisco Bold
On that note, as a West Coaster, some words/phrases from other parts of the country sound weird to me like...
Saying serviette instead of napkin. That makes sense if you're speaking French, not English.
Pronouncing "process" as "pro sess" instead of "prah sess". That just doesn't sound right without a British accent.
Gas bar instead of gas station.
Office bitch list cont.
"utilize." Every instance of "utilize" is improved by substituting "use." It's a useless word.
"Touch base." What are you, Major Tom?
"Executing" for "doing." Unless you're coding or trying to pass as a coder to your employer, "doing" will do just fine.
"Due to the fact that." Just say "due to." Every "the fact that" can be avoided if you're willing to work a little.
Long office email detailing a shitstorm ending with "please advise." Want advice? Get up early and read Hopkins over black coffee. Not what you're looking for? Then ask me a specific question about your specific problem.
"FOMO"
"Sorry not sorry "
"Clean living"
"Food porn"
Party in my mouth.
Makes me want to stab people.
This is 90% of what comes out of my manager's mouth.Quote:
Originally Posted by A Robot Bit Me
:lol: I hate that phrase.Quote:
Originally Posted by A Robot Bit Me
UuuuuUUuuUUuuuuhhhhhh just wanted to touch base, uuuhhhuhhh where are we at with the uuuhhhh, you know uhhhhhhhh project?
Have we uuhHHhhhhhHhhHh touched base with the uuuhh supplier? uuuuhhhh what did they uhhhhh say?
(all answers being in an email sent two days ago)
Replace it with touch tips. See how long you can get away with it.
"touch what?"
"touch tips? Like power engagement tips? Tips on better work flows? You know, tips"
"Oh, ok"
the true prize would be if they started to use it in meetings.
I hate this one most of the time. It reads like 'do my job for me' because YOU probably screwed it up to begin withQuote:
Originally Posted by A Robot Bit Me
Quote:
Originally Posted by M
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/irregardlessQuote:
Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_fUMcTb1jI
I thought "pop" is most of all Midwest in the US. Despite that, I say soda. Soda is a beverage. Pop is a noise.
Similarly, O is a letter, and 0 is a number which is pronounced "zero".
There's some acronyms which I know what they stand for but I fabricated another phrase which fit the letters before knowing and let it stay in my head even though I know it's wrong. For example, I see SMH as so much hate and JNC as Jack and Coke. I know they stand for other things but I don't care.
A constant irritant is the movie quote "threw up in my mouth a little". Right, because there's other places you can throw up in your body, such as your chest or ankles I guess. And you managed to throw up just a little, because you decided to have some restraint there. It would be rude to vomit the entire contents of whatever it is that you're throwing up into, seeing as how you need to specify that it is your mouth in the usual case, so it's a good thing it was only a little.
"At the end of the day" is a very tedious way to say the word "ultimately".
Improper use of "that" when referencing a human being or a group of people ("who" should be used).
Also, the word "Latino". Can't stand it, especially since I'm Hispanic.
Just don't say "due to" at all. Most of the time, what people actually mean by that is "because of".Quote:
Originally Posted by A Robot Bit Me
"As it were" is very annoying, and I use it when I'm trying to be annoying.
"Like a boss" makes me cringe unless I'm listening to the Lonely Island song.
"You know what I'm saying?" and all of it's variants up to and including "Nahmeen?" It adds nothing. The person you're speaking to will let you know if they understand you or not. Usually.
"I can get..." working at a gas station I hear this A LOT. It's not the proper way to begin asking for something and I want to yell that at anyone who starts a sentence that way. "I can get a pack of Newports." Is it my turn to say something I can do? I'm confused now.
Never heard this one, but I did hear "Whatcha get for a PS2?" a lot when working at a game store in RI. Are you asking me how much we give for a PS2 trade in? Or how much a PS2 costs to buy? Or do you want to know what games I personally own for the Playstation 2 Sony Entertainment Rectangle?Quote:
Originally Posted by Pineapple
30% the first one, 70% the second, 0% the last.
Dobby can has sock? Dobby free elf now.
That reminds me of American Pickers. "What do you get for...?" It makes even less sense in the context of a one of a kind item.Quote:
Originally Posted by A Robot Bit Me
I keep a list of these phrases. This is going to happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by MechDeus
Preview:
"What's the downstream impact?" = "How does this affect us later?"
"Topgrading Session" = "phone interview"
"Push the Excellence Quotient" = ???
People actually say 'push the excellence quotient'?
They might as well tell you to tighten up the graphics on level 3...except in that case, you have at least the vaguest clue on what to do
Management speak is the worst.Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaoofNee
Do it. Get yeller or finch to make comics at the start of each chapter. This could be an easy cash cow for you. Little website. Some shirts and mugs. You could have the next entry in the Dilbert market.Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaoofNee
Sounds like a 1994 bullet point on the box of a Sega game.Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaoofNee
Pure business people must hate everyone in any other department or background.
They make these fucking words up and anyone, ANYONE, from a skilled background sees through them. They probably see it has a whole lot of debby downers not getting on board, or not buying it, or whatever the no fucks given buzz word is for the year.
"WE HAVE TO MAXIMIZE ARE SANCTIFICATION TO EXCELLENCE QUADRANT"
"you made that up"
"what up?"
"sanctification to excellence quadrant"
"No, it is how we will reach top market share"
"are we collecting data on any of those things? Has anyone even ran basic statistical analysis to see if each relate at all, or if they relate to market share?"
*stares blankly at wall behind employee* This is what I'm talking about guys. Bad buy in. We need leaders. We need people to take charge. We need employees that can run with our sanctification to excellence quadrant and make it a reality!"
*awkward nodding, fake smiles, everyone secretly wonders when they can get out so they can go to lunch*
Business has basically become a fact free zone where people shovel shit out as quickly as possible and bail before their bosses realize it's shit. I blame Google.
One of the part timers at a previous job showed me one of her business administration textbooks once. I browsed through it a bit and looked at her with a raised eyebrow and said "You know this book is one big pile of bullshit, right?" It was basically a dictionary for this kind of talk.
Yep. My business admin taught me nothing but buzzwords and tips for running a low stress, happy zone work place.
Didnt teach me how often I should pay the sales tax bill, what kind of insurances I should have, what the State is going to require me to have regarding withholding and disability. You know, anything actually useful for a small business owner.
There's a good book on these job that have no real value called The Utopia of Rules. It's worth your time, if a bit dry.
I have a coworker who ends sentences with "if you will" a lot.
I will not.
You know I'm sane?Quote:
Originally Posted by Pineapple
Is he Indian?Quote:
Originally Posted by kedawa
Quote:
Originally Posted by GohanX
Its that or corporation focused. I've taken a stupid amount of accounting all things considered. ALL of it. ALLLLLL of it was based on corporations. Almost every god damn problem started with me raising funds by issuing stock.Quote:
Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name
I was in my lest semester of my mba before I got to anything that had to do with running a small business. And it was just 1 class. Managerial fiance. I was at the end of the race when someone actually came out and said that most of the finance and accounting we'd taken before was almost entirely useless unless we went to work for a corporation. I was at the end when someone said "you can be a profitable company, have great super awesome stock prices, be the king of your market, and still fail because ultimately you have to pay all of your bills in cash. You can't pay taxes, employees, etc with any of this other shit. You have to pay all of that in cash aka, money in the bank. If you can't do that, your company will fall apart."
That was probably one of the most useful classes I'd taken as part of my mba. We got into meaty problems like how to calculate what car you should buy based on how much you drive in a year, gas prices, depreciation of the vehicle and future resell price. Or what year you should buy new equipment based on production, resell price, new equipment price, and depreciation.
Everything else was either A. dumb business bullshit B. Theory with no application C. for Corporations
Unrelated, I think part of the problem with American culture is that we educate people to think in terms of corporations. That is propaganda in its own way. It sets them up as the default. As necessary. Which is really nonsense because they make up less than half of the jobs in the US. Probably less that 25%
I guess we know who's planning the wedding.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fe 26
you love it
Apple started the shorthand app because of the similarities to the word Apple.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fe 26
Also your hatred of KPIs is weird. It is just a cluster of top level metrics actually tied to the performance of a given task.
Why the GOOGs specifically?Quote:
Originally Posted by Diff-chan
Drew is one of them.
"I could care less."
"Reach out to.. "
"disruption." "fast is better than good." etc. Just poop out some crap, suck up some VC money, see if it sticks, if not, move on to the next con.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
Yeah—I would credit that culture to Facebook though. The mantra actually written on their office walls is "Move fast and break things"
Seems like every company in tech subscribed to it or to Steve Jobs syndrome.
This shit is older than the internet. It probably goes back to the self help movement and books like poor dad rich dad.
It's the word equivalent of jiggling Shiney keys in front of someone while you pick their pocket.
I'm not explaining the intent of the thread again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
.
You're right—I call bullshit on the Sum function in Excel.
The biggest one I used to hear every day is "low hanging fruit". Used as a term to describe low investment projects that have high returns. But in the parable of the low hanging fruit the whole point was that they were poisonous, not as nutritious or bug ridden—and that investment should be made to get the higher fruit as that's where the real gains are made. Also wise fruit pickers realize their sacks get heavier over time to coming down from the tree is logistically beneficial. No one says this anymore after it was called out—instead they say "easy wins"... missing the point entirely.
Probably should go to the doctor for that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
eh
I don't think most people really know the parable though, and I think almost everyone realized it just meant "easy wins". I get your point, but I don't think that's a wrong thing to use. Granted, "easy wins" is easier to say, but w/e
With utmost certainty most easy-wins in designing apps or building start-ups are done within the first year. After that they tend to tweak vanity metrics at best.
You're arguing with yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drewbacca
A meeting on my coworker's schedule:
Internal Outlook: Brief Debrief
I can assure you it wasn't meant as a joke.
stupid assholes, the whole lot
I hate the way people use the phrase "speaks to".
Unless they're talking about someone actually speaking, it sounds retarded.
like, "that cake speaks to me" ?
Thats a pretty old phrase. I remember hearing it in old 80s cartoons and movies. It was kind of a art nerd thing. Or at least, that was how it was framed.
No, like "The increase in gross margins we've made month over month really speaks to the effectiveness of instituting daily TPS reports".