I'm gonna have a stepmom....

....and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.

My true mom died suddenly in '99 as the result of a brain hemorrhage, and ever since, my dad's been dead set on getting re-married. He found someone and is proposing next week.

I've never met his fiancee-to-be, and they've both rejected my invitations to get together. My dad's gone through quite a change in his personality since meeting her, and the changes aren't good. He even put me down as a reference at the jewelry store without telling me.

I can't tell him how to live his life, and so on, but the prospect of having a stepmom is WEIRD.

Any of you have step-parents? What was the transition like? I have no idea what to expect.

Sounds to me from the little write you made, your dad just tried to find someone as fast as possiable. Sounds iffy to me. I don't have any step parents, just voicing my opinion. If you still live with your dad it might be weird, but if not I am not sure it will be too bad. I really don't know.

Cross your fingers and hope she's hot.

Cross your fingers and hope she's rich! If shes hot, that could be really weird. "Oh man I would love to bang my step mom."

I say give it a try and if she is a bitch, move out of something like that.

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Originally posted by BioMechanic
He even put me down as a reference at the jewelry store without telling me.

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WOW. Good thing you don't keep a gun in the house.

wait... youve never even MET this woman? thats kind of fucked up.

Firstly, Sorry to hear about your mom, dude.

Secondly, If what I say is out of line and you think I'm prying, please ignore what I say.

How long have they been seeing each other? If its not long, then this has bad idea written all over it.

And why haven't you met her yet? Do you know much about her?

Good luck man.

On the bright side, if things don't go well you have someone to blame all of your ptoblems for the rest of your life.

There's not much deep advice to give. The transition will be pretty much what you make of it.

I wouldn't read too much into their actions up to this point. One or both of them may be shy about the relationship or schedules may genuinely conflict, etc. Give the lady a chance. Treat her as you would any good friend of your father's and see how it develops from there.

88mph, always offering up tidbits of useful info.

Thats what I am here for. That and cursing.

I love cursing.

Well, I have a stepfather too, and I pretty much think of him as my own dad, since he is and always was much nicer to me, and done alot of good things for both me and my mother. They been together for about 15 years now, and even though all families have problems, they still together :)

I hope that your dad new relationships, wont really affect the your relationship with him, Bio. Strange that he didnt even tried to introduce her to you yet, or wont even meet you.

Thanks everyone.

For the record, I moved out 15 years ago, but now live 10 minutes from my dad.

They met six months ago, and have been dating for three. My dad was talking about remarrying four weeks after my mom died (thanks arjue). Honestly, I think she doesn't want to meet me or my sisters - which makes me smell a big ol rat, to be frank.

He's completely changed since dating her, and I don't mean in a good way. I guess this is his way of declaring there's a rift...? He did the same thing with my mom (met on a blind date, married six months later) and their marriage was, well, pretty shaky (which is being kind).

Still, maybe she'll turn out cool. Despair, it's good to know that step-parenting CAN work. Wait and see, I guess, but I'm preparing for the worst.

It's strange, but I feel like I'd imagine a parent would if their child hooked up with someone...questionable.

Life is bizarre.

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Originally posted by BioMechanic

Life is bizarre.

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truely.

I had an asshole stepfather, but everyone's situation turns out differently. He was one of those people who acts nice in the beginning then they show their real colors afterwards. Everytime he would give me hell for no reason, or would generally bitch at me for no reason, my mother offered no help. So I made it obvious that whenever he was there, I wouln't be(if you're wondering, he was/is a truck driver.). She always asked me to try to sit and talk with him and yadda yadda, but it was long past that point for me. You have the benefit of being on your own, so if you don't like her when you eventually meet her, you can always just go home. I had to deal with that ass from 4th grade up until I graduated high school.

My stepdad's a great guy. He's treated me better than my real father has, but more importantly, he treats my mom good. As long as he does that, he's ok in my book. They've been married for over 11 years so far and have a nice life together.

Would I have preferred my parents to still be together? Hell yes. That's not the reality of the situation, however. I'd rather my mom be happy with her husband than try to fake something for my sake.

I say give the woman a chance, but don't let down your guard.

I have a friend that has had 2 step dads. One was a fucking psycho, and the other is really nice (although they aren't married, they've been living together for several years). I guess its the luck of the draw.

Perhaps the reason why she doesn't want to meet you is that she's intimidated by your situation, and the fact that you might think that she's trying to replace your mom. She mightn't know how to react to you as a result. I know I'd have problems meeting the kids of my girlfriend if their dad had died.

She could be very nice, but just a little timid.


I say give your relationship with her 100%. She could be very nice and become like a sister to you, which would probably make your dad happy, bringing you all closer together.