Getting over a relationship

Recently, i broke up with my gf of 18 months. It is definately the most serious relationship I've had in my life. It ended amicably and we are still close friends. In fact, I live with her since, as you may or may not remember, I was kicked out of my house not too long ago.

Now, I'm sure that contributes to the fact that I've had a very hard time getting over this relationship, even though it ended a full month and a half ago. There a other factors that make it quite a bit harder. It was one of those relationships where we both tuned out all of our friends when it was happening. As such, I don't have many friends to really rely on besides her. It also hard because she has met and is involved with another guy.

Now, at the risk of being the board's resident headcase, I'm really curious as to how all of you have dealt with realtionships falling apart. I'm sure it would help other people as well.

I'd ask you, however, to please refrain from "forget about the bitch since she dropped you" comments or the like. It's really not like that


Thanks

GET SOME SPACE! PLEASE!!!! i'm serious too. even if you have to...like.....i dunno. space and time would be the best things for you....especially if she's seein' someone else while you still live with her. i dunno.....how you're gonna get space livin' with her though. you figure it out 'cause that's all i got. go out with someone else, or just take up some new hobbies like kung-fu, or join' a book club....i dunno....just get out there an' meet some new people. it really sucks that you still live with her though. i'm not sayin' that your friendship can't work, but it won't be any easier on either of you to make it work if you don't get some space an' time apart.....get a space time continuum device thingy.......or make one since you have some pare time.....then you can go to an alternate universe where you don't live with her....that might help.

*cough* Chrono Trigger *cough*

Wait...

Does 'recently I broke up with my GF", mean you booted her?

Learn from it, and don't forsake your friends for poon.

Bro's Before Ho's.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by mattvanstone
Wait...

Does 'recently I broke up with my GF", mean you booted her?

Learn from it, and don't forsake your friends for poon.

Bro's Before Ho's.

---

No, in technical terms she booted me. We had intentions of reconciling in the future, hopefully when things are a bit less crazy. I was sleeping in my car for a while, and she pleading with me to move in with her. We were best friends before we were together and we still are, even if she sees someone else.

We actually were very close to getting back together a week ago and she, technically, cheated on her current boyfriend but that kinda fell through for one reason or another

I think that the big problem is the she is my only true friend (the rest of the people I know are really just acquintances who I am friendly with and hang out with on rare occaisons). So between that and getting kicked out of my house and dropping out of school (all in the same week, mind you) it's almost like I've been forced to start all over again. And I suppose thats a little bit much to do all at once.

Let's see:

If she is your only friend, you had best make some more. Forsaking your friends for a woman, is putting all your proverbial eggs in one basket, and that's not a good thing.

If she cheated on her new boyfriend with you, then she is a cheater. Cheaters have no class, and should not be trusted. If you get back with her, you could never likely be totally sure that she is not doing the same with some other man, and biding her time until something better comes along.

It sounds a lot like she is playing you, but, maybe you are too wrapped up in the emotion of it all to see it. I've been there a few times as well.

Think about how things have really changed, and for whom.

She has you living with her, can use your desperation to always get with you at her whim, and you sound only too happy to run back and give attention to her.

You can't dictate when to be with her, and worse, must now live in a house or such with her, and watch as the plays with another man in plain sight. You are fucked.

I don't think I am wrong in assuming that you really don't think that this is the end of things for you and her, and you might see it as a temporary state, that's not a healthy thing. It's called denial.

My advice, go back to your parents or whatever you lived with before, and beg/plead/humble yourself, whatever it takes to move back in. Living with an ex is not a good thing. Get back in school, and move on slowly.

Every woman that has ever dumped me has always come back, the majority to gloat/steal attention/or try and play me again for the thrill of it.

The best revenge is living well, look into it.

I was engaged friend, five year relationship, we broke up a year ago in the worst possible way you could ever break up with a chick.

Honestly though amerlop, a month and a half is not enough time to get over anything save a bad case of mono.

Length doesn't matter in these things, intensity does.

If I wasn't forced to break up with her because of her lies, I would be more miserable now than I could possibly be.

Sometimes its better to fall for the idea, amerlop, not the woman.

and know that there will be times that nothing will prevent you from hearing your own thoughts beat around your head, and every time you reach to reconcile, try to weigh them out before you lose the independence you fought hard to gain.

I only know two people with a worse breakup story than mine, so without further ado...


http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/s...?threadid=9889

MVS and YAWA have given you some sage advice. I would sooner live on the street than with my ex in your situation. I don't know the circumstances of your breakup, and I wouldn't fault you for getting back together with her, but you need to either get back with her or get out. You cannot be that close to your ex that soon and be happy.

I was in your situation less than a year ago, and it was the worst month of your life. If you have a few true friends, they will forgive you and understand.

I won't tell you to cut her off - I still remain close with my ex from that time. But you need space. You can't mend your friendship with her until you get your own life, and while you are in her apartment you will inevitably be pining over her.

I deal and break up with my exes much the same as I do with caring and parting with my pet hamsters.

I play with them, keep 'em caged up, well-fed, give 'em treats. Even take them out once in awhile and give 'em some exercise. And if they're REALLY good, I give 'em something nice and sweet to chew on.

But, inevitably, over time, their health starts to fade nomatter how well I treat them and fatten 'em up. Mebbe keeping 'em outdoors during summer isn't a very good idea, but lord do they stink up the house if I leave them inside! Eventually they die, so I pick 'em up with a pair of oversized tongs, place them in a large paper bag, and bury them out back, praying the alley cats don't dig them up and make a meal out of 'em.

That's ok though, because they are plentiful, easy to find, and usually cheap to obtain unless it's a rare or special breed. Those typically last longer, but eventually, they all sucuumb to the same fate the regular ones do. A pity really.

<nod>

Sometimes you just have to get your mind to shut the fuck up and move on with things. Odds are, you will not be able to do that until you move out, and fine someone new, even if its only week long thing.

Hell, if it will ease your mind any, break down to her how you feel before doing this, just have a backup place to live first. At least then you wont have those nagging "What if?"s. But yeah, your situation aint a healthy one.