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Thread: Razor Ramon's Guide to Cheap Fun in NYC/NJ

  1. Razor Ramon's Guide to Cheap Fun in NYC/NJ

    We all know people love going to New York City. It's a mecca for raunchy behavior and loose morals. After all, that's what people want in a vacation. So I'm going to put this here and update it every so often for TNLers who come up to the City and don't want to spend a mint having a good time and trying to get a female to hop on your pogo stick (or a male who's willing to go fishing in your ocean of STDs for the ladies).

    Burg keeps saying I have a nose for cheap places in the City, which is surprising if you've ever gone to a lounge or bar there without knowing better. I will base my reviews on three categories: prices, men and women who venture into said venue, and atmosphere. These three categories are key for an enjoyable night and if even one is lacking, it can spell disaster for a penny pincher's evening.

    And this will include NJ because people in NYC do go out to Hoboken, NJ, alot of the time for their Thursday nights where your chances of picking up someone who won't remember who the fuck you are the morning after skyrocket by about 200%. I'll include those as I see fit.

    So the first bar will be:

    CHEAPSHOTS

    Many TNLers who know me probably aren't surprised at my first choice. I've been going to this bar for well over three years. It's pretty much my bar. Located on 1st Ave. between 8th and 9th streets, it is the prime example of what to expect from East Side bars but going a bit overboard. During all hours of the day, you'll find a crowd in this bar because most of the bartenders are interesting people and the drinks are always affordable no matter how fucked you are when it comes to cash.

    Prices

    Cheapshots lives up to its name. Prided on getting people blackout drunk for a fraction of the price of other bars, Cheapshots offers many drink specials. Expect $2 shots of Soco Lime, Kamikazes, and Red-Headed Sluts all the time and before you say to yourself, "Yeah but they probably water down the shit out of their drinks" realize Cheapshots really doesn't give a shit about how much more they make per drink since they're always packed. The bar is owned by some of the bartenders and they realize the best way to get people to spend money is to get them as shit-faced as possible so they never water down drinks. If anything, they put more alcohol than they should. Even a Long Island Iced Tea, a staple for alcohol pros, costs $7 and has knocked me and a bevy of people on their asses for the night.

    Specials range from a beer and a shot to half-off drinks throughout the week, with Mondays being the most impressive with various open bar deals such as bottomless pitchers of beer for $10 and such. If you're looking to get smashed and still wake up with enough money for a slice in the morning, this place will be the best thing your wallet has ever seen.

    Overall Rating: 5/5

    Men and Women

    During my early years of venturing into Cheapshots, there was almost always an equal amount of sexes at Cheapshots. It was wonderful for any sexual deviant to walk into Cheapshots and have almost a 100% chance of getting a woman. After all, those who frequent Cheapshots have low expectations from what they can expect.

    Women at Cheapshots vary, although just slightly, in their personalities. Rarely will you ever see a woman come from the upper crust in life but they do tend to show up from time to time. Expect to find alot of urban and punk rock women at this bar. They are cute in their ways but they are huge partiers and if that's not your type of lady then SHAME ON YOU! Most of them will blow you in the bathroom if you're convincing enough (I speak from experience) but sometimes they are worth keeping around for future adventures. If you're looking for a woman who can offer substance to a conversation (lol) than you're out of luck. Most of these women are between 21-28 and are obnoxious if you get them too hammered. Tread lightly.

    The men at Cheapshots really are too varied to compare to each other. Some are the Ruggish Thuggish type of men while others (shudders) pop their collars. There are punks inbetween, too, since CBGBs closed down. Women, make no mistake, if a man is at Cheapshots he's looking to get laid. Either that or he's piss poor. Lucky for you I'm both. Be careful with who you talk to at Cheapshots because some of these guys are wound so tightly they are just aching for a fight or for a reason to do something incredibly stupid.

    Overall Rating: 4/5

    Atmosphere

    If you like dingy, you'll love Cheapshots. Taking a page out of CBGB's sticker-layered walls, Cheapshots is covered in random band stickers, posters, photos, and crude drawings. With two park benches, an air hockey table, and beer pong table in such a small space, it gets pretty hard to walk around. If you have a severe claustraphobia problem, avoid this place at all costs. It's all asses and elbows and very, very loud.

    The place is normally friendly since people are so close together but remember you do not want to step on anyone's toes since it'll probably start a fight. It has a college-like feeling but if you're young you'll love that type of shit. I'm 23 and I already grow tired of it but I deal with it for the cheap prices. Also, music varies. Wildly. Nothing like listening to The Who followed by KRS-ONE.

    Overall Rating: 4/5





    (**note** sometimes the left bartender takes off her top. Normally on empty nights but she's always shitfaced even when working and loves her titties hanging out. They're pretty nice.)


  2. Nice review... I'll have to remember this place when I am in the area.

    Do local bands play here as well?

  3. You must be on the payroll.

  4. Great thread idea. Now where can I get a good hamburger under $10?
    "Question the world man... I know the meaning of everything right now... it's like I can touch god." - bbobb the ggreatt

  5. Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday View Post
    Great thread idea. Now where can I get a good hamburger under $10?
    http://goodburgerny.com/

  6. I just realized it's probably a sin to buy a burger in Manhattan. You're suppose to eat pizza.
    "Question the world man... I know the meaning of everything right now... it's like I can touch god." - bbobb the ggreatt

  7. Quote Originally Posted by Razor Ramon View Post
    Many TNLers who know me probably aren't surprised at my first choice.
    Yup, not at all suprised.

    Great write-up, Ramon.

    Dolemite, the Bad-Ass King of all Pimps and Hustlers
    Gymkata: I mean look at da lil playah woblin his way into our hearts in the sig awwwwwww

  8. Hey Dole, did you know Jason went to Manhattan once?
    "Question the world man... I know the meaning of everything right now... it's like I can touch god." - bbobb the ggreatt

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Holliday View Post
    I just realized it's probably a sin to buy a burger in Manhattan. You're suppose to eat pizza.
    you go to the croc/alligator lounge and get the free pizza that comes with the beer, duh.
    Pete DeBoer's Tie
    There are no rules, only consequences.

  10. Really? That sounds awesome!
    "Question the world man... I know the meaning of everything right now... it's like I can touch god." - bbobb the ggreatt

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