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Thread: Funny Subtitles from HK Films

  1. Funny Subtitles from HK Films

    Well, These are actuall subs from various HK films:

    Dammit it! You are crazy for sex! Why should I be the exception?
    -- Lewd Lizard

    I know it, he is not an idiot, he is sexual detour
    -- Black Panther Warriors

    Same old rules, no eyes, no groin
    -- Bloody Mary Killer

    Sex fiend, you'll never get reincarnated!
    -- Banana Spirit

    He's Big Head Man, he is lousing around
    -- Close Escape

    Catherine is a nasbian!
    -- Passionate Killing in the Dream

    Men are somehow abnormal
    -- Call Girl 92

    You're bad. You make my busts up and down
    -- The Love That Is Wrong

    Don't shout. Balls are not broken yet.
    Yeah? My iron balls are like marshmallows now!
    -- Devil Cat

    I have piles. You won't be comfortable.
    -- Ghostly Vixen

    Apparently, sex makes him mad
    -- Robotrix

    I've told you, men with beard are anxious in sex
    -- Girls in the Hood, Part 1

    She's adulterated and cuckolds me
    -- Flirting

    What you need is a canned woman.
    -- To Hell With the Devil

    Got it, love machine!
    -- Dreaming the Reality

    For him, every day is a moral holiday.
    -- The Missed Dane

    I'll jelled if you ask me out
    -- Ghostly Love

    Nicked named Little-bun, also named Bitchy-bun.
    -- It's Now or Never

    All men are sex maniac they deserve death
    -- Spiritual Love

    No, it's bad if she's seriously twisted
    -- Kickboxer's Tears

    She's terrific. I can't stand her.
    -- Rouge

    From your tiny eyes, I can tell you won't be lazy in bed.
    -- Holy Weapon

    I've checked, you are suffered from "Big Penis".
    -- Ghostly Vixen

    Don't do anything perverted, we are in a hurry.
    -- Holy Weapon

    Noodles? Forget it! Try my fist!
    -- Final Victory

    Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
    -- The Seventh Curse

    Beat him out of recognizable shape!
    -- Police Story 2

    Damn you, stink man!
    -- Caged Beauties

    Well! Masturbate in hell!
    -- Full Contact

    Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
    -- Saviour of the Soul

    You darking lousy guy
    -- Satyr Monks

    I'll cut your fats out, don't you believe it?
    -- It's Now or Never

    You're stain!
    -- Taxi Hunter

    Bump him dead.
    -- Police Story 3: Supercop [HK version]

    Get out, you smurk
    -- Aloha Little Vampire Story

    You won't die in one piece
    -- Eastern Condors

    Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
    -- Pedicab Driver

    You bastard, try this melon!
    -- Gunmen

    Your dad in an iron worder, your mom sells beans
    -- Legend of the Liquid Sword

    What is a soul?
    It's just a toilet paper.
    -- To Hell With the Devil

    What is it that drills your nerves?
    -- The Last Message

    The human sense is nonsense.
    But human blood is superb.
    -- The Golden Swallow

    The fart of God.
    What does it mean?
    With a remarkable sound.
    -- The Informer

    The petrified trees testify to rages of thunder
    -- Bury Me High

    Don't pee onto the burning pot.
    -- Magic Cop

    If you don't waste time, time wastes you at once
    -- The Avenging Quartet

    People scare people
    And people are scared to death
    -- One Eyebrow Priest

    Not any nuts will admit they are nuts!
    -- Naked Killer

    The bullets inside are very hot.
    Why do I feel so cold?
    -- Lethal Panther

    A toad is no match for a swan
    -- Robotrix

    My world is to companion with calabash till drunk
    -- Shaolin Drunkard

    You're petulant, but not concentrated enough
    -- A Chinese Ghost Story

    To generate the greatest power, we'd be heartless.
    -- Zen of Sword

    Man! Why beat! Take it easy
    -- The Nocturnal Demon

    Bastard, an inch longer, an inch stronger
    -- Fong Sai Yuk

    I'm no...I'm!
    -- My Neighbours Are Phantoms

    If you don't eat people, they'll eat you!
    -- We Are Going to Eat You

    When the tree falls, the monkeys run.
    -- Fantasy Mission Force

    Thanks, Monk.
    -- Ghostly Love

    Today we're here to purge...a bourgeois slut who only cares for immoral sex and hedonism. She stole a pair of basketball shoes from the Fatherland.
    -- Reincarnation of Golden Lotus

    What? Is this rebellion?
    It is. Kill!
    -- Descendant of the Sun

    You damned intellectual, kneel down
    -- Red and Black

    We are nearly blown up in pieces.
    You deserve that. It's because you're civil servants.
    -- Princess Madam

    HK will soon be China's, and you bedding a Soviet
    -- On the Run

    They took me as anti-revolutionist and punished me, and I was stink for 3 years.
    -- The Nocturnal Demon

    Hi Chekov, losing up. This is America.
    -- Black Cat 2: Assassination of President Yeltsin

    You're our enemy by using perfume
    -- Red and Black

    This is not Taiwan. This is Hong Kong! How can you go around hitting people on the head all the time?
    -- Night Caller

    I got knife-scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
    -- As Tears Go By

    I'm a police of discipline.
    -- Angel Enforcers

    You know I'm a roughie
    -- Flirting

    I'm a sneaker.
    -- Brave Young Girls

    I love hearing lascivious screaming.
    -- Romance of the Vampires

    My nickname is “Iron Spade” spade the rubbish
    -- Rich and Famous

    I only know how to shoot. I can't even write.
    -- Gunmen

    Her the Symbol of the God of Death
    -- Passionate Killing in the Dream

    Poodle Head attacked us
    -- Doctor Vampire

    This is a hospital, not a charity.
    -- Devil Cat

    An enurotic chick who have a bomb in her hand made us take our clothes off.
    -- Dangerous Encounters of the First Kind

    The reproductive organ was bursted by bullet
    -- Naked Killer

    African vampires don't go for Chinese women
    -- Armour of God II: Operation Condor

    These corpses are young and active
    -- Kung Fu Zombie

    Also, blind, cripple, bitchy and crazy ones are provided. All standard charge.
    -- Romance of the Vampires

    Chinese ghosts bask in macho spirit
    -- Rouge

    Her tongue is longer than yours!
    -- A Chinese Ghost Story pass through me!
    -- Master Wong vs. Master Wong
    [hmmm...can't imagine where this one might come in handy...]

    He is executed to death just now.
    -- Last Hero in China

    You were Mr. Pimp on Hookers Street 18 years ago
    -- Wheels on Meals

    There's a vampire downstairs, sir.
    -- Haunted Cop Shop 2

    He is the most stupid swordsman in the world of martial arts.
    -- Holy Weapon

    Brother, my pants are coming out
    -- Armour of God

    Then pop, he's gone.
    -- The Big Heat

    Sir, your eyebrows are shaved!
    -- Iron Monkey

    Snake Boy has told me everything
    -- Holy Flame of the Martial World

    I'm not Jesus Christ, I'm Bunny
    -- Double Trouble

    We've got a bitle progress, since we found her head
    -- The Gory Murder

    And these are toes chopped down by spacemen
    -- The Seventh Curse

    Suck the coffin mushroom now
    -- The Ultimate Vampire

    You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken
    -- Pedicab Driver

    I give you a dish and berrior if you tell me now
    -- City Cops

    Be a tearn and don't bite at each other.
    -- Operation Pink Squad

    A big fool, with a gun, got to war. Surrendered and turned to a cake.
    -- Haunted Cop Shop 2

    Ok! I'll Bastare, show your guts!
    -- Transmigration Romance

    Flora, though I died, King of Hell said I didn't deserve it
    -- My Better Half

    Suddenly my worm are all healed off
    -- Aloha Little Vampire Story

    Designing is very brain-consuming.
    -- Devil Cat

    God! I've got a bruise. Insert!
    -- Saviour of the Soul

    I'll give birth to a stuff for you in 10 months, OK?
    -- Perfect Couples

    And you thought. I'm gabby bag
    -- Dragons Forever

    I can't only jump to dead if you force me on
    -- A Serious Shock: Yes Madam #92

    Explode at 11 o'clock sharp
    -- Bury Me High

    Help! Please call my space phone
    -- Armour of God

    Blonde chick, target for emigration.
    -- The Big Heat

    Watch out, the road is very sweaty
    -- Aloha Little Vampire Story

    To keep looking at the signal baboons make my eyes tired.
    -- Angel Enforcers

    There are special tonic and 5-Toisoned Kid's urine
    -- One Eyebrow Priest

    Pierce his face loci
    -- Legend of the Liquid Sword

    Don't bullshit, shovel.
    -- Queen's High

    There's no way you can trust her. Her missile is gigantic.
    -- I Love Maria

    With potbelly facing Heaven, he'll be Herculean!
    -- Mr. Vampire Part III

    I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
    -- Pom Pom and Hot Hot

    Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
    -- On the Run

    The wolves will burst your tits this time!
    -- Naked Killer

    Don't be misleaded by the Skinny. He is protected by Inner Air.
    -- Last Hero in China

    Well, I've got furious now!
    -- A Kid from Tibet

    He wants to be the toppest fight, shit!
    -- Thirteen Cold-Blooded Eagles

    Wait for death in 18 years
    - Holy Flame of the Martial World

    I'll tell the world your breasts are injected!
    -- A Hearty Response

    Don't tell any that I have high anxiety or I'll beat you up!
    -- Prison on Fire 2

    More than a horse's, shit!
    -- Once a Thief

    Stick back your heads
    -- Long Arm of the Law

    You have a gun, return him with the bullet!
    -- People's Hero

    If the Iron Monkey dared come, he'd be in deep shit!
    -- Iron Monkey

    I'm firing. Don't move.
    -- Blood Ritual

    You bitch is going wilder and wilder.
    -- Escape from Brothel

    Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
    -- Armour of God

    The 5 infants will creep out and kill people
    -- Red Spell Spells Red

    That chap's damned, beat him!
    -- On Parole

    Sock him unconscious
    -- Armour of God II: Operation Condor

    Maniac! Be smart and release them, or I'll root out your clan
    -- Holy Flame of the Martial World

    Lucky Fruit, the dried corpse is horrible!
    -- Peacock King

    I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
    -- Holy Weapon

    I have been scared shitless too much lately.
    -- Final Victory

    Please don't point your gun at my client's head.
    -- Satin Steel

    Youngster, your brain is useless, I guess
    -- A Kid from Tibet

    You're crazy mad-nutcase.
    -- Royal Warriors

    It's hard for me to tolerate such bitch
    -- Raped by an Angel

    Miss, a couple of basters are following me
    -- Tiger on Beat

    I hate the scissy type. Looking so pale like a ghost
    -- Run Lover Run

    That may disarray my intestines
    -- Eastern Condors

    Can't I sleep? You're dictator, it's not yet 1997!
    -- My Better Half

    Damn it, what a maniac!
    -- Seeding of a Ghost

    You never change, you fight even when dead
    -- A Chinese Ghost Story

    Boss, Zhao is ridiculous.
    -- Angel Enforcers

    Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep
    -- Pedicab Driver

    Why do you always have to bring me the blood of drunks?
    -- Doctor Vampire

    Give me your urine...urine cures inner injury.
    Do you want more?
    No. Yours is not so good.
    -- The Untold Story

    I'm 80% recovered.
    I'm 80% haunted.
    Crazy talk. You're both 80% dead!
    -- Mr. Vampire

    Check if there's a hole in my underpant?
    No! I saw a vomiting crab.
    -- Full Contact

    Sex is something necessary in one's life.
    Good, you are my friend then.
    -- A Chinese Torture Chamber Story

    No smoking, I know, but this is hemp
    -- The Nocturnal Demon

    Let me make a mark on your chest.
    No. I want to wear low-cuts.
    -- God of Gamblers

    It'll be bad if we become top gigolos. We'll be tortured every day.
    -- Pom Pom and Hot Hot

    The tongue is so ugly.
    Let's imagine it to be Tom Cruise
    -- My Neighbours Are Phantoms

    Game of chess? What kind?
    Strip beat game.
    -- The Informer

    From their stammering reaction, it seems to be complicated.
    -- Malevolent Mate

    I won't dump the used napkins anywhere too.
    Not to let the vampires use them as tea bags, right?
    -- Eternal Evil of Asia

    So you really are fully bruised?
    No bruises on the tongue, the palm or the buttocks
    -- Pedicab Driver

    Bring in some pops, Monkey
    -- Long Arm of the Law

    A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
    That's reasonable.
    -- Brain Theft

    Tell him a hill will collide into his car tonight
    -- Queen of Temple Street

    Those two with tattoos are fanatics. They're descended from cannibals. Don't provoke them.
    -- Marianna

    Do you really have one eye?
    You don't believe me: Here, take a look!
    -- Night Caller

    What's a kid-corpse, grandpa?
    -- Hello Dracular

    You're a bad guy, where's your library card?
    -- Enforcing the Law

    You're a deranged snooper or what?
    -- Queen of Temple Street

    Gun wounds again?
    -- Rich and Famous

    How can you use my intestines as a gift?
    -- The Beheaded 1000

    A red moon? Why don't you say blue buttocks?
    -- The Holy Virgin

    Miss, shall we make it?
    -- Ghostly Vixen

    Guns! You think I'm meaning puppy?
    -- Madam City Hunter

    How can I make love without TV?
    -- Brother of Darkness

    You cheat ghosts to eat tofu?
    -- The Ultimate Vampire

    How can a bullet be breathless!?
    -- Saviour of the Soul

    No ripping off? How about jerking.
    -- Queen of Temple Street

    Oh, are they chewing gums or my hearing's wrong?
    -- City Hunter

    Why don't you do something else but to pick up the dead men's bone?
    -- Amazing Stories

    Don't you feel the stink smell?
    -- Operation Pink Squad 2

    You circumcised me because of my cold. Now my appendix because of my headache?
    -- Doctor Vampire

    Can the few of you blow up the hanging coffins?
    -- Bury Me High

    Do you know what the penalty IS...for being RUDE?
    -- Return of the Master Killer

    And now, the full %90!
    -- Return of the Master Killer
    [Holding up two fingers]

    Woooha, Now that was a long post Enjoy

  2. Noodles? Forget it! Try my fist!
    -- Final Victory
    Alright, I know this from somewhere, but I've never seen that movie. I have this vague idea it's from an Adam Warren comic, probably the parody he did on HK films in Gen13. But it's been too long (God, I love Warren, he's hysterical).

    In any case, this reminds me, I've never picked up the English version of Story of Riki (despite my owning the original un-translated in any way version for a good three years now). I should do that, the dub's probably funny as hell...

  3. this sounds like an SNK game. X_@

    Quote Originally Posted by dechecho View Post
    Where am I anyway? - I only registered on here to post on this thread

  4. Originally posted by MechDeus

    In any case, this reminds me, I've never picked up the English version of Story of Riki (despite my owning the original un-translated in any way version for a good three years now). I should do that, the dub's probably funny as hell...
    the dub is so bad. and i mean extremely bad bad which equals to funny bad somehow.

    one of the worst movies i've ever seen. ever.

  5. Hey, Story of Ricky rocks. Its one of the best bad movies I ever seen. And the dubbing is great too

  6. I think they really need to increase the pay of those subbers(is that what they are called? o0)
    "The only way microsoft would make something that doesn't suck is if they made vacuums"

  7. Originally posted by Psx
    I think they really need to increase the pay of those subbers(is that what they are called? o0)
    But then they wouldn't be half as hysterical... and most films wouldn't be worth watching anymore. I mean, most of these are extremely low-budget bad movies, and are really only worth watching for the extreme butchering of language they perform.

    I say decrease their pay, maybe we can even start getting translation students in on this, and get "better" subs...

  8. Originally posted by Despair
    Hey, Story of Ricky rocks. Its one of the best bad movies I ever seen. And the dubbing is great too
    That movie seems like it was heavily based on Mortal Kombat

    I agree, Despair, awesome movie. Pretty cool story too.

  9. Naw, complete Fist of the North Star ripoff. Though a much better live action.

    I always to do a remake of it. Considering the way the prison's set up, me and some friends decided it should be "School with Ricky". You know, kind of like a Riki: The Teenage Years sort of thing... Could even be a tv show! Then we thought it'd be hysterical to market it as a kids show, and make them all super-deformed, but still with the spurting blood and missing limbs and all.


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