Job stories.

[Paco The Panda]

Working at Magic Mountain (The actual theme park this time), I had these two girls stalk me for nearly 2 months straight. Theyd come every weekend and sit right by my booth begging me to steal a huge cow prize that was hooked on to the wall.
Then of course theres always the girls that would wear short skirts and forget to wear anything beneath 'em. Ive never seen a group of guys at lunch run that fast to get to work, just to sneak a peek, damn pervs.
Theres also this game called Whack-A-Mole, where everytime a mole pops up you gotta hit it with these little mallets. Well, the prize for the game is different sized rooster dolls. Since we had to wear headset microphones, we figured itd be cute to call out "Come play Whack-A-Mole, the harder you whack, the bigger cock you get." Good times, man.

[cigsthecat]

Lately I've been working at Wockenfuss Candies as a part-time Fudge Packer,...

You just can't make stuff like that up. Fantastic.

[BooMsta]

The ol' nut dip was a popular revenge at the Keg when I worked there on summer a while back. But that's not my story, befor he was pistol whiped 12 times by some asshole that broke in one night, my old boss was the best boss in the world but after that happened he quit (understandably) and was replaced by this walking pile that really pissed me off something feirce. So one night before I was off me and my bus buddy scraped out the dish pit, collected it in a bucket and threw it all over his car. I never knew a car could smell SOOOOO bad. If you liked that I currently work at a RadioShack (laugh if you must) and I've got a million more

[Low]

I work at a grocery store as a manager and get to meet all sorts of wonderful people. A few favorites....

A 70 year old woman walks up to me one day and tells me for NO reason that she can't make out the prices below the milk cases. She told me that she takes the tags off the shelf, looks at the price, and throws them on the ground. I had no clue what to say, I politely tried to say she should not do that but she cut me off saying "I DON'T CARE!" and walked off.

A thing to remember about retail is employees are told to treat the customer with respect, that's why we love shoplifters. You see a evil glit appear in the eye of a retail clerk when he's about to bust someone.

Last year I was working in my store's Greenhouse, and we got ripped off constantly at night. The sad part was my ass of a boss would not do a thing about it, his thoughts: "Oh well it happens". It drove me nuts that people would simply drive up and take plants, statues, pots and were getting away with it. One night I decided to stay overnight. Brought my GBA and a baseball bat with me and sat on a mat in the middle of a open air canopy. About 3 AM a truck pulls up and guy walks down to the area we keep statues and picks up a bronze outdoor oven. I let him walk back to the truck a bit and then asked him if he had a reciept. He dropped the stove and darted for the truck. I got in front of the truck (probably a dumb move) and told him to get the fuck out before I bashed his windsheild in. He got out and started apologizing for it and telling me he wouldn't do it again....and then ran like hell to a wooded area nearby. I reached in the truck, got his keys, his license was verified and he had a cop at his doorstep the next day.

Another night my friend Loras, and I had just got off work and headed to the parking lot. Loras was talking to me one moment and running the next. When I caught up to him, he was bashing a guy's head into the pavement. The gent had been trying to rip Loras' car stereo off and he was very bloody when the police arrived.

Another time I was called to customer service. One of the ladies behind the counter had stopped halfway in the process of cashing a payroll check for a man and woman couple. The woman wasn't saying a word, the man was calling my co-workers whores, bitches, among others. Turns out, the woman was trying to cash a check that belonged to her DEAD husband, the man standing there was apparently her boyfriend. Tried to calm him and tell him we couldn't cash a check that belonged to neither of them, he told me "I'll fight you right here you skinny fucker". I rounded up 4 other guys and we peacefully helped that couple exit the store. I was really pissed but really I would have got in trouble for making the stituation worse if I had said anything. *-neo

[Timber]

I looove shoplifters. "always mess with thier head"

Busting kids who try to steal memory cards at EB is just fun. But the best is at my little shop at the flee market. I can, and do, whatever I want so I usuly just block off the exit (it's only about 3 or 4 feet wide) and make them confess and then belittle them in front of everyone. The best was when I grabed a kid by the ear and walked him to the front office where they hold the shoplifters until the cops show up. Great stuff.

It's f'n impossible to get one past me,
-Gigas

[Josh]

Back before my position at Babbages I worked at a fast food joint... lets call it "Chicken Market"

I got in a fight with an old woman that worked there. She had been harassing me all week, and it got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I threw a container of hot mac and cheese at her, and hit her in the face. She got a bit upset, started shouting, and ran to the back. I continued scooping food for people. The manager came out, looked at me funny, and returned to the back room.

Later that day I was "pulling chicken" when the smell and the feel of dead animal flesh made me violently ill. I ran to the drive thru window and puked out of it.

I didn't work there for too long.

[innova]

hahaha these are great...keep them coming

[Chemist]

hahaha, I just got my first job! so hopefully i;ll get some good stories to share!

[bandit]

this was when i was working at CVS Pharmacy [similar to Genovese, Rite Aide, Duane Reade, etc.]. one day i was doing a price change in the fem section, and i hear tylenol/advil shaking in the next aisle. i thought to myself, who the hell shakes the bottles. i slowly walked over to the aisle over, and i see this guy shoving bottles after bottles of tylenol/advil into a huge as toy box. i asked him if he needed help, and he said he was looking for this type of medicine which i have never heard of. i politely asked him to follow me. stupid me walked in FRONT of him. while im walking down the snack/seasonal aisle i turned around...he wasnt there, he was in the next aisle jetting down the Hallmark. i ran after him and screamed out "STEVE!" who was my store manager at the time. Ashn was in the office chilling ...while i was running after the thief, the 3 girl cashiers were just looking at me with a shock

when i jetted after him, he tried to lose me behind a parking meter. out of all things, a parking meter. i could of just reached over and grabbed the bag OR just bitched slapped him one right over the meter. while he was trying to lose me behind a meter, i hear a guy scream out, "HURRY GET IN THE CAR". he jetted for the car. stupid me, ran after it like a dog. while running after the car, i thought to myself, what happened if he put the car in reverse, my life wasnt worth a bunch of tylenol/advil. but at least i got the license plate number

when i ran back inside, the girls asked what happened. i was out of breath at the moment. ran upstairs to the office, and couldnt talk for about 5 mins, cuz i was shaken up, and out of breath

[bandit]

this was when i was working for EB.

the door says EMPLOYEES ONLY, well i had about 3 customers come walk into the back and ask "is there a bathroom?"...NO!. we believed those 3 tried to get stuff from the back, pretending to ask for the bathroom. 2 of the 3 had a duffle/suitcase with them.

another one was a guy trying to steal those old ass psx games bundled with the memory card. i saw him sitting by the exit. im thinking to myself, what is he doing. so i stood near him against the wall. i see him leaning over to try and hide it from my view. he tried to pretend he was waiting for someone, by looking at his watch and huffing and puffing as if he was impatient. once he knew i was watching him, he left. i took the items back and put it away. 30 mins later or so, he comes back when theres a rush of people, and tries to steal them again!. of course i noticed. and now when i go visit my old employees at EB, the guy still stops by. when he sees me, he jets back out and waits against the railings. when he gets outside, he peaks back in to see if im still there. but i tried to fool him, by screaming out saying "I'll see you tomorrow" to think that i was actually leaving, but what i was actually was doing was going either to the opposite side of the mall, or going upstairs across from the store, so i can see what he was doing. but he left before i can do it

this is the same guy that actually stole something from me while i had my back turned. he was so called waiting for his dad, and this guy was in his 40's-50's, so his dad can pay for it. i left it on the counter and the next thing you know it, its missing