The mvs skool o' writin'

[MVS]

Props to Sqoon for this idea.

Feeling V. Thinking

These days, it takes a lot to review a game. Must be age or something, but I'm rusty, and I think too much. Sounds strange, but thinking is the enemy in a review. Why? Nothing will kill a review faster than thinking.

Thinking is great and all, and can help you do a great many things. Unfortunately, it's usually boring to read. That is to say, writing a review based entirly or mainly on thinking, is not a good idea. If you must go that route, take up Techinical Writing, and learn how to write instructions on how to assemble tables.

Feeling, is the ultimate necessity. Keep in mind, as a Critic, all that you are doing is explaining a little about the game, and then giving your opinion. Some will agree with your opinion, some will not (and you'll probably get love and hate e-mail for any one review), but that's how things go. Your job, is to share what you FEEL, about the game and what that game is ABOUT. If you cannot handle the idea that someone out there is going to take you to task for saying that any game sucks, or is good, and want to be non-commital on things
(a la 'this game is good, I like it, if you like this genre, you might like it too, if you don't, then you won't'), give it up now. If getting the latest DragonBall Z fan to threaten you with death or maiming overa slam piece on a DBZ game is going to upset you to the point that you write a review composed of nothing but weak statements fully of vagarity, please, do us all a favor and move on to better things.

You are you. I am not you. You are not me. We are not the same, nor will we our reviews read the same way. That isn't to say one is better than the other (or make any judgement there), simply that we each have a unique personality, and, when you write with Feeling, that's mainly what people will see.

Mad Flow

Cliche or not (and I happen to believe that the saying 'cliches are cliches because they are true'), that's how it is. Stop and think about that for a second. The absolute worst thing that you can do as a writer, is to write a little bit, stop, and then think about it. Flow is something that cannot be faked easily, and a good writer, knows that any written work is only as good so long as it keeps the attention of the reader (which I fail to do at times).

A reader stops reading, paid or not, you have failed! You have bored them, and done nothing.

So, step one, is fairly easy to discern: Write, from start to finish, all that you know and, most importantly FEEL about the game.

My main advice, and I can not stress this enough, is to write, as if you were talking to a friend. Imagine that a pal of yours has said "Hey, you played Metroid Prime, what's it like?". Assume they know nothing of the game, beyond the name of it and the system it's on. Then simply tell them about it. Do not worry about depth, or tangents (if you happen to go on a 5 paragraph rant about prior games, that is fine, you can amend that later), just write.

I would go so far as to say that a factually lacking personable review is much better than a fact-laded monotone one.

Do not worry about:
Punctuation.
Spelling.
Tenses.
Anything!

Your goal, is simply to write all that you can, from start to end. When it's all done, save it and leave.

Go off, play the game again, see if you can notice anything you missed, or find what is really important. Take a walk, or a drive. Whatever, just leave that saved file there for a good few hours.

When that is done, go back and read it again. The focus is still not to correct little mistakes, but to look for things that you like, and things you do not like, and to make sure the flow is even and consistent.

"Does the 1st paragraph flow into the second or is there no transition?"
"Am I talking about the same idea multiple times in different paragraphs? (which I do entirely too much)"
"Am I talking about X too much? (past games, console wars, companies, and so on)"

1st Look:

Going back, look closely at the introduction. Spanning 1-3 paragraphs, this is one of your 2 needed money shots. This is what is going to draw the reader in (or push them away), and get their attention.

Consider this, my original
opening to Vice City, the 1st draft without any changes:


Things were looking down for me. Literally.

As my helicopter spun in it's smoking descent to the ground, the result of taking too many bullets, I knew things could only get worse. I bailed out when it was low enough, but that only put me right in the middle of Little Haiti. The Hatians wanted me dead, but they were the least of my worries. The SWAT team was on me now, racing towards me in armored trucks and dropping from zip lines attached to helicopters. I ducked behind a parked car, drowing in the deafening sound of bullets riddeling the car, and checked my weapons: a Handgun and a screwdriver.

With those paultry weapons, I woudn't last long.

Just then, salvation arrived. The citizen rolled up, stopping his motorcycle just in front of the now flaming helicopter wreckage. I saw my chance and took it, running up and kicking him off his bike, I jumped onto it and spun off as fast as I could. Weaving between bullets and traffic, I managed to flee the scene, and the police were now catching on...and up to me. Corner after corner of near collision, and I had only one thing in my mind: This is one goddamn amazing game.

Which it is, but that only begs one question: Is it just an expansion to Grand Theft Auto 3 or something more...something better than even the rabid hopes and expectations of 7 million GTA3 owners?

2nd Revision

Things were looking down for me...literally.

As the helicopter pitched and lurched towards the rapidly approaching ground (with a double JB and raw egg breakfast in tow), I knew things had gone from bad to "I'm fucked."

As the now flightless bird rushed into the over-eager arms of the onrushing asphalt, I bailed and landed... hard. Thankfully, the bourbon was doing its thing, so what might have been a badly broken arm felt more like a mild fracture. Though a broken limb was going to be the least of my problems as I gathered my bearings: Little Haiti.

Better make that "I'm so fucked."

See, the Haitians wanted me dead, thanks to a deal gone bad. Right now, though, they'd prove to be the least of my worries. Seems the SWAT team wasn't too happy with me 'borrowing' their ride and nonchalantly 'parking' it on a nearby police cruiser...with the cops still in it. That'd probably explain the pork wagon racing down the street and vast amounts of bacon repelling rapidly on ropes from above. They may be pigs but they were packin' some serious heat.

A quick lunge behind a nearby car prevented a premature departure to the local worm farm just as a few hundred rounds slammed into my
makeshift shield. Taking stock of the situation, armed with a handgun and a screwdriver, I came to the sudden realization that I might be in over my head.

But as luck would have it, one of the locals rolled up on his shiny new motorcycle. to check out my recent, inadvertent, handiwork-I guess it's not everyday that you see a pig roast in the middle of the 'hood.

Since he apparently couldn't hear the gunshots ringing all around him (God bless helmet laws and MTV), I made my move.

Delivering a swift kick to his chest, I dropped him to the ground. I mounted his ride and took off down the street, bullets whizzing all around me, and through all this, I had only one thought: God damn this is an amazing game.

Analysis:

Though, the size of the introduction more than doubles, I felt that the 2nd was better. Why? Much more personality. Granted, F-word aside (and, I don't reccomend that as a practice, but it can grab positive or negative opinion like nothing else), it emotes much better and, to me, feels like the start of a movie that has just rushed right into it. Like Menace II Society, which has no credits and simply begins, I wanted to put the reader into the reivew, from the start.

I did not want a slow build to a point, rather, I wanted an explosive beginning, yet be intentionally vague. Why vague?

It begs the question "What was looking down for you?/What do you mean?" To find out, the reader has to read on.

Every game is different, and the worst think that a writer can do, is to have a standard opening/introduction. Variety in writing, like anything else, is key.

Personality, Yes, You Do Have It.

Personality does not have to take several paragarphs either. Granted, it was a bit easier at GF for me, since all of us simply made a comparison to another editor (the benifit of a set team, I would say), but, any one sentence here and there can be made light and appealing with metaphors and such.

"Even the cars have undergone a change. They now have tires that can be shot out, or blown out by police spike strips, causing the handeling to go to crap faster than an 80 year old man on a prune juice diet. "

I could just have easily said 'causing the handeling to suffer tremendously' or some equivelant, but I went with that comparison because, to me, it evokes something. I imagine a man in that sitation would go to crap quite quickly, which makes me laugh (poop jokes, the bread and butter).

Once the personality is added, it's time to save and leave it alone one last time, for a longer streatch this time.

Take 5-8 hours off, and come back fresh, after you have done other things and forgotten the exact wording.

Standards Are Wrong

Now it's time to check for a few things, beyond flow.

Does every paragraph start the same way? (ie, The Graphics are, The Sound is, The Controls are)? If so, redo those sentences.

Is it concise? No review should be more than 1200 words. No review. If you can't say what you have to say in 1200, you are talking
far too much.

Is there repitition? Every paragraph is a topic, or grouped into a flow of topics. Talking about graphics, then sound, then back to
graphics is not a good thing.

Is it Informative? Running on the assumption that the reader knows nothing about the game, have you told them enough about it to inform them as to the features?

Are you taking a stand? Does it suck? Does it own? Why? Be firm, yet fair (I'm not a fan of 'slam pieces' at all, rather choosing to not write up a game). Your conclusion must include if a person should buy it, rent it, avoid it, and so on.

Finally

Have fun. Yes, it's all about fun, even if you are getting paid for it. Be yourself, show people what you can do, and what you have to say, and, again...have fun with it!

Hmmm...I think that's about the bulk of it. Good luck, and good writing. Hah!

[maruchan]

so basically trying to get attention of those witha 4th grade reading level... which is about the age of people who play video games..

[MVS]

Yes, reading or spelling at a 4th grade level...

juts lik youu!

HAHAHAHHA

JK, maru.

[Dyne]

i only look at the pictures anyway

[sleeve]

Great thread.

I like MVS's approach, but personally I would never adopt it wholesale for my own reviews. But I'm not MVS.

The best advice here is to revise. Good writers always write at least 3, if not many more revisions of whatever it is they're writing. And by revision I don't mean simple additions and subtractions to a first draft, I mean complete rewrites.

[maruchan]

Originally posted by mattvanstone
Yes, reading or spelling at a 4th grade level...

juts lik youu!

HAHAHAHHA

JK, maru.

noooooo...

[burgundy]

Nice thread.

I have to disgree with Sleeve on revisions, though. I generally never revise anything I write, unless I think there's something really wrong with it. I generally try to say what I have to say the first time I say it.

But...I think any fledgeling writer does need to go through a lot of revisions, if only to learn what belongs in a final article.

[andyrose]

I've never been one to revise, but I may take it up to improve my writing. I do agree about the flow part, I like to just let the words flow as my brain pumps them out, not worrying if that one part seemed inappropriate. Later on you can go back and revise it, but don't kill the vibe while it's vibin'.

[Andy]

Originally posted by mattvanstone
Yes, reading or spelling at a 4th grade level...

juts lik youu!

HAHAHAHHA

JK, maru.

Originally posted by burgundy
Nice thread.

I have to disgree with Sleeve on revisions, though. I generally never revise anything I write, unless I think there's something really wrong with it. I generally try to say what I have to say the first time I say it.

But...I think any fledgeling writer does need to go through a lot of revisions, if only to learn what belongs in a final article.

Same here.

[Rich]

That's alot of writing, man. MVS needs a new game to play.