Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Jackie Chan is: The Protector

  1. Jackie Chan is: The Protector

    Wow. I bought The Protector [original US version] the other day because, well, it's Jackie Chan. I didn't know more than what I read on the back of the shoddy DVD case, so I was not sure what to expect...

    Ok, so this is his first American movie. That could be interesting. It will be nice to see how he has progressed over the years in American-produced film.

    And it sure as hell was interesting... Intersting to see how much more of this SHIT I could bare without losing all respect for American action movies.

    The Procetor simply is one of the worst movies I have ever come across. Jackie can't do much to save this movie from falling face first into a pile of steaming trash.

    So the first quarter or so wasn't turning out too well.... But come on, now... It's Jackie Chan. Something good will come out of this. But... What is with all the cursing... the lame violence... and .... just what the hell is going on here? This isn't the Jackie I love and know. Was this movie meant for Chan...? I mean, what is he DOING in the thing.

    The movie goes on... The story is nothing special in the least bit, and I could hardly follow it after a while... Ok, he got demoted after an absolutely ludicrous action sequence in which he is able to calculate the momentum of his boat so that it skillfully crashes into his enemy's, causing a massive fireballl of death. Whatever. Are they serious?

    So now he's going to Hong Kong to find some girl... He goes with some SHIRT IS ALWAYS OPEN IS THIS GUY REALLY ITALIAN MY GOD WHAT KIND OF ACTOR IS THIS GUY Garony or some shit.

    Incredibly lame acting continues throughout the rest of the movie... Not to mention, some of the most forgettable "action" sequences ever.

    The movie gets nowhere oh-so quickly. I kept getting the feeling that nothing was really happening during most of the shots....

    Joy, a thirty second shot of a car pulling up to some kind of club.

    The 6th shot of at LEAST fourteen of a man attempting the escape Jackie on a boat. Look at his blank face. Doesn't he look worried? Wow.

    Let's stand around here while some reject kidnappers break in a steal some girl.

    Good lord.

    Anyway... The second half did nothing to save the first half from misery. This movie is MISERABLE.

    The acting is about as strong as a pre-kindergarten production of... Whatever, it sucks.

    The directing and action is ludicrous. Nothing seems to make sense. Ok, naked girls work in lab. Naked girls fill up bags of cocaine.

    Let's watch Jackie dodge some empty cardboard boxes being oh-so fiercely tossed by his opponent, who dies after a single trip-up by Chan.

    There goes Garony whipping out a huge gun, doing a 180 degree turn, and precisely hitting a sniper on a two hundred foot tall tower 300 yards away. All within a quarter of a second.

    And who could forget the FINALE. MY god, that helicoptor is PRECISELY underneath a gigantic crane! Quick, lower the load onto the helicoptor! Talk about.... Just wow.

    Oh, the complete lack of music at times really helped to heat up the action.


    I could go on. And on.


    What a movie.

  2. Re: Jackie Chan is: The Protector

    Damn, sounds pretty bad.

    Originally posted by Click_Stick
    Ok, naked girls work in lab. Naked girls fill up bags of cocaine.
    Wow, I gotta see this!!

    Dolemite, the Bad-Ass King of all Pimps and Hustlers
    Gymkata: I mean look at da lil playah woblin his way into our hearts in the sig awwwwwww

  3. Damn, Click, reading that post gave me one big headache. I guess the movie rendered you incomprehensible as well

    Well, Protector is not Jackie's first US film. Big Brawl and Cannonball Run films were made before.

    I agree that Protector is just plain awful. There is HK cut of the film, where Jackie tried to improve the film, with cutting out the cursing, some stupid action scenes and nudity, but it still one hellawa bad movie.

  4. Originally posted by Despair
    Damn, Click, reading that post gave me one big headache. I guess the movie rendered you incomprehensible as well
    Heh, heh... I'm still trying to recover..

    Never heard of Big Brawl.. is it a Jackie Chan-centric movie or does he only make an appearance?

  5. Big Brawl was made in 1980, I think.

    Jackie is a Main star in Big Brawl. It set in the beginning of 20th Century, and Jackie plays the son of Chinese Groccery Store owner, who must fight the street gangs. Its been a while since I saw it last time, so I dont remember alot of details about it.

    Fans dont like that one much though.

  6. Jackie is only in the second Cannonball Run movie I thought.

  7. This was on tv some time ago.

    The directing and action is ludicrous. Nothing seems to make sense. Ok, naked girls work in lab. Naked girls fill up bags of cocaine.
    This was easily the most confusing, pointless and just plain weird scene I have EVER seen in any movie. It literally comes out of nowhere and is so ludicris it defies anY conceviable explaination and logic. Like it's 8 or so women working in a lab...completely naked. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? I don't even think they would do that in a porno! And they are just scooping cocain into these huge bags...it's just plain idiotic. They must have known the movie was ass and just threw anything into it.

    Ever see The Prisoner? I think that's what it's called. Jackie is on the cover but he is on screen for maybe 10 minutes. He has 1 fight scene (which is quite good but really short). It was pretty shitty.

  8. I thought I missed something at first... perhaps an explanation as to why they had to do their thing naked... I guess not.


    Baffling. Simply.


    The Prisoner... can't say I've seen that one... If I'm in the mood for some cheese, I'll look into it.


  9. Originally posted by Despair
    Big Brawl was made in 1980, I think.

    Jackie is a Main star in Big Brawl. It set in the beginning of 20th Century, and Jackie plays the son of Chinese Groccery Store owner, who must fight the street gangs. Its been a while since I saw it last time, so I dont remember alot of details about it.

    Fans dont like that one much though.
    Yeah the HK cut while adding a couple fight scenes and dramatically rediting the final fight between the dude with the saw (he improved the camera angles--watch the two side by side and you can see the major difference between HK fights and US fights)--but the movie sucks...it is terrible--kind of like Jet Li's The Master terrible, though there were some good fights in that one too...

    BCB is a decent film for a U.S. film done with Chan but giving little to know ability to be in control...the style reminds me of his sutff like Project A and Miracles with the music and whatnot, but the fights are reeeaalllly slow like Rush Hour, because he's mostly using slow ass U.S. stuntmen...but I would add it to your collection if you're a Chan fan...actually there's a HK DVD of the film and I plan to pick it up to see if there is anything different from the U.S. film...

    Originally posted by Rumpy

    Ever see The Prisoner? I think that's what it's called. Jackie is on the cover but he is on screen for maybe 10 minutes. He has 1 fight scene (which is quite good but really short). It was pretty shitty.
    See this was called Island of Fire in HK and was basically a payback film by Sammo, Jackie, Leung Kai Fai, Andrew Lau for known triad and film star Jimmy Wang Yu--during that time the triads ruled everything in HK, but Jackie and and other stars were very against triad involvement in films, so I'm not sure why he really did the film, unless he was doing payback for something early in his career...or maybe to help Jimmy avoid trouble...

    Anyway, this film isn't that bad...I posted on another board (kfc cinema one) that you should enjoy for what it is, not for what it isn't)...it has a couple nice Chan fights and takes elements from a number of famous U.S. films...and has a lot of big name stars...

    Incidentally, the U.S. one sells it as a Chan film, but the HK version featured the whole group of stars prominently on the cover...

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Games.com logo