*GOLF CLAP*
*-neo
The creators of The Next Level are pleased to announce a new venture that has the potential to revolutionize the world of video game journalism as you know it: The Next Level Newspaper. Though the news will be ancient, reviews have a crippling word limit, and every postman from Utica to Redwood City will have chewed and stepped on your copy by the time it arrives at your door, it will be one of the first video games publications to be released at weekly intervals! But with the TNL LCD Screen (sold separately), you can hook your paper with the TNL Adapter (sold separately) into an outlet and gain direct feed access to the The Next Level forums, at last bridging the gap between print and online. So now you can see if your "Is Gungrave better than Who Shot Johnny Rock?" poll is getting a lot of votes, even when in the bathroom!
The first three issues (Issue 4 will be released on Friday, check you local newsstands) of The Next Level Newspaper have been spread around by a grassroots campaign and results have been phenomenally positive. Here we present the front page of those three issues and exclusive sample articles.
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Issue 1, Vol. 1</center>
The Proclaimers to get their own licensed game
SCOTLAND – Game developers Vis has been contracted to create the new racing game, Great 500 Miles Rally, which will star and include the music of The Proclaimers. Planned features include identical looking cars for Player 1 and Player 2 and a unique soundtrack including “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles),” “Come On Nature,” “Get Ready,” and “I’m On My Way.”
Capitalizing on the recent success of games such as WWE Crush Hour and Def Jam Vendetta, Vis will be including a car combat mode where The Proclaimers can fight other musical artists/bands that everyone has a passing knowledge of but don't really care about.
"So far, we got Duran Duran and Devo on board for the car combat mode," said producer Erik Haase, "And we're currently trying to pen a deal with Men at Work and Julian Lennon."
Haase, however, wants consumers to be rest assured that their main focus for Great 500 Miles Rally has been, and will be, The Proclaimers.
“We’re going to add a lot of great features and secrets for all the racing fans and The Proclaimers fans out there,” said Haase, “And I hope you enjoy driving the 500 mile lap because it’s going to loop and you’ll have to drive 500 more, just so you can be the man who drives a thousand miles.”
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Issue 2, Vol. 1</center>
Famitsu reveals sequels from Capcom and Treasure
TOKYO, JAPAN - Japanese publication Famitsu reports that Capcom has revealed that they are working on Sunlight Worlds 2: Magnificient Moonlight, sequel to Sunlight Worlds, while there are also vague hints that Treasure may be working on a Gunstar Heroes sequel.
Magnificent Moonlight is the PlayStation 2 sequel to Sunlight Worlds, Capcom's racing/fighting/platforming hybrid series and in this new adventure you continue your role as Gustave the Knight in his endless search for fame, fortune and the love interest who mysteriously disappeared in the original. The original Sunlight Worlds has actually yet to be announced though it’s expected that it will be released sometime in 2003 and Sunlight Worlds 2 will be released in 2005.
“We know people will be disappointed when we release Sunlight Worlds with only narrowband online play and when Sunlight Worlds: Director’s Cut won’t include the heavily advertised uncut opening movie,” said Capcom producer, Souji Nakazato, “So we’re definitely going to pull out all the stops for the sequel.”
As mentioned, Famitsu is also reporting that a ladder of sources is telling of a Gunstar Heroes sequel.
“What we’re basically dealing with here is this: We hear from website ‘Traffic Games’ that another Japanese website known as ‘Super Tokyo’ is reporting that its sister site, ‘New Technical’ is reporting of some murmurings that in the next issue of Famitsu there will be a hint towards a possible rumor of the unofficial unveiling of the unofficial sequel, or 'spiritual successor', to Gunstar Heroes at either TGS or E3 within the next two years,” said “Junction Gaming” webmaster, Zooey Truffaut, whose site broke the news in the United States.
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Issue 3, Vol. 1</center>
Loud gamer annoys neurotic gamer with pedantic game discussion
NEW YORK, NY – While waiting in line to trade in three games for a film by Ingmar Bergman on DVD, Issac Davis and his girlfriend, Luna Schlosser, overheard another customer behind them, Paul Mazurk, loudly talking to his date about how gameplay should be defined as “intellectual playability, with more than two minor outcomes” and how Beatmania and Dragon’s Lair are, by his definition, unplayable.
“I don’t know if I can enjoy a game if there’s someone out there who’s dissecting it like a frog,” Davis said to Schlosser, “Listen to this guy. Just knowing that he’s talking about a game in a cultural fashion puts a big crimp on my enjoyment of it. Their first date, I bet. Probably met through a personal in The Onion or some elitist message board. ‘Likes foreign films and Squaresoft, and cramming the two together. Must enjoy glossy words pasted over stupid ideas.’”
Davis had enough when Maruzk started to explain that Fumito Ueda created an allegorical subtext against capitalism in ICO, so Davis pulled over Ueda who was standing a few feet away and Ueda stated that Mazurk was completely out of his mind and had no right to play his game.
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*GOLF CLAP*
*-neo
I hope every issue is blurry minus the photshopped-in headlines. That's worth my money right there.![]()
You're supposed to do all this stuff before noon...as if anybody would believe Capcom was working on a sequel.
-Kyo
Teh Apirl foolz!!1lolz
I truly wish that this site was above this April Fool's bullshit. Leave this kind of crap to scum like IGN and EGM.
/me kicks Yoshi
oh pipe down Dino chum.
relax and live a little.
You = no fun at all.Originally posted by Yoshi
I truly wish that this site was above this April Fool's bullshit. Leave this kind of crap to scum like IGN and EGM.
Originally posted by bahn
* bahn kicks Yoshi
oh pipe down Dino chum.
relax and live a little.![]()
"Punch the yeti! Win a free Llama!"
Best April Fools thread so far.
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