I was browsing the boards when a government message came on the screen telling me not to move, and that I was under arrest for aiding a terrorist organization.
I immediately contacted bahn, whereupon out transmission was intercepted by Mexican warlords who claimed to hold the ultimate power of the Internet: the Black Biggalow.
Naturally, we inquired further, and found out the government needed this jewel to seize control of the Internet once and for all. It was believed that bahn held this jewel, and the government was out to get it however they could. Turns out the Mexican warlords framed him.
But treachery was afoot in the land of electrons. As me and bahn set out to rectify the situation ninjas jumped out from the trees above and grabbed me, threatening my life with their large, and quite sharp, blades. I expected bahn to help me, but he just sat their laughing, and it was at that moment that I knew the truth behind the matter. I had known too much about the situation, and bahn, KING of the Mexican warlords, wanted to shut me up.
It was not to happen, though. Armed with my trusty horn, and a Swiss Army knife that I found when I was twelve, I cut my way out the ninjas grasp and quickly called upon my trusty friend Hotsuma, who, as any punctual ninja would, appeared seemingly out of nowhere, even before the sound of the horn had finished its flight across the atmosphere.
Hotsuma made quick work of the feeble and untrained ninjas, then set his sights on bahn, but it was too late. He had scurried away during the scuffle, and is still on the loose.
People, you are all in danger. Bahn, king of the Mexican warlords, is only out for total domination of the Internet, and you all are merely pawns fueling his cause. He has thousands more ninjas at his disposal, and they can show up at any of your houses at any time. If I were you I'd cease visitaion of this site at once, but if that's simply not possible, then exercise extreme caution. And, as always:
DON'T TRUST ANYONE!
Well that's like, your opinion, man.
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