After the Eulogy
After eyeing this at Best Buy for a few months I finally found it at an atractive price($6 used) and figured it can't be too bad. After all, it was supposed to have zombies and Ninjas, that sounds kick ass. Holy shit, I couldn't have been more wrong. These are easily the worst movies I have ever seen and they contain the worst dubbing I've ever heard. I have seen some horrible movies and I've experienced some bad dubbing, but these two movies are easily the worst. Nothing comes close to how horrible they are...
Both movies are contained on a single DVD put out by some company called Shock-0-rama. I think that is their name, I can't be bothered to check. Why do they suck?
Zombie Doom
-Filmed on a camcorder from 1970. (Hint: The movie was made in the '90s)
-Laughable dubbing. Has to be heard to be believed
-3 Zombies in the entire movie
-Obsession with the words shit and puke
-Random foul language throw around for no reason
-Laughable special effects *I'll get to this below*
Put simply, the movie is trash. I actually shut it off 5 minutes into it on my first attempt at watching it. The dubbing is amazingly bad. Once I did watch it, I wanted to gouge my eyes out the entire time. For some reason, the word shit and puke is throw around every five seconds even if it doesn't make sense. You know how some movie reviews say the special effects were laughable? Well, when I say the FX are laughable, I mean it. I dare anyone to watch this movie and not laugh at least ten times at the absurdness at it all. You want examples? Ok. A ninja does a superman flight toward a guy. Well, this smart individual holds a machete in front of him. The ninja flies right into the machete an gets sliced in half. the whole effect looks like it was done by a five year old. It get's better. Someone drives a machete into a ninja's head and then kicks the ninja's head off. In one of the most pathetic excuses for a special effect we see the head fly across the landscape smack into the back of another ninja, killing him. Enough said.
Zombie'90
+Wow there are actually Zombies in this movie!
-Everything else
I think this is the worst of the two. For starters, it was filmed on the same low quality camera. The videos that you always see on the news from a store security camera look better than this. Get this, the dubbing is actually worse! The "main character" is given a 1970's blaxploitation voice despite being whiter than a ghost. The script is horrible and at times resembles an episode of MST3000 rather than a movie. There is literally no story here, the movie is nothing more than an excuse to showcase the horrendous special effects. You can see people throwing buckets of blood. The blood looks like orange paint. It is so pathetic. Half of the movie is a dream sequence that only serves to show of more special effects. This has to be the worst movie ever made. It just has to. I actually feel stupider after having seen it. Oh and the Zombies actually kill a baby in this movie. They take a baby doll and pull the head off. Then buckets of blood shoot out and they rip the doll in half. It's fucking stupid. Oh and a guy squishes a spider and the floor fills with blood.
Please excuse me while I smash this piece of crap. I'll leave you with a quote from Zombie '90.
*A guy picks up a gun and leaves his car to go into the woods. Before shuting the door he faces his girlfriend and says the following*
"Man I have to shit. I've gotta bring this gun so I can shoot the shit. It's the only way I can get rid of the smell"
The Darkest Soul
Oh, yeah. I had a misfortune to get this one as well on Ebay. Its made by German gore-meister Olaf Otenbach, known for these shot on video extreme lowbudget gore-fests, like Violent Shit 1&2, Premutos and others.
In fact I got Premutos(which is a bit better, but still quite bad), and Zombie Doom dvd came with it. I honestly couldnt even finish it, since it was THAT bad.
Hard Rock Save the Space
$6 at Best Buy, eh?
Hrmmmmmm.....
After the Eulogy
No, it was $20 at Best Buy. A local Used CD shop had it for $6 used.
Braaaaaaainssssss
Wow, that sounds horrible..... I think you just sold me on Zombie Doom.
The Darkest Soul
CHibbi Dont. Just buy Premutos, which is at least better, and has some budget.
After the Eulogy
Chibi,
It's not even worth it to make fun of. Really stay far away from this horrid dvd. I know, when you hear "worst movie ever" a curiousity pops up and you think "No way, I've gotta see that" just to see how bad it gets. Just take my word for it, it is horrible. If you really want to see this movie, here is a cheaper solution. Buy some cheap paint, and watch it dry.
Braaaaaaainssssss
[Saturday Night Live Antonio Banderas]But I must![/Saturday Night Live Antonio Banderas]Originally Posted by Despair
Ok, ok.... If it is really that bad maybe I should stay away.
The Outdoorsters is the worst movie ever.
Nothing else can compare.
neurobashing
Actually, UK, I thought your reviews of these fine works of cinema were hilarious.
Um......Violent Shit actually had a sequel? And it's called Violent Shit 2? Awesome! Where the hell is Olaf Otenbach's Oscar, dammit!
Despair, I bet you could write a great book on Weird Obscure Films of the World.
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