Reviewing Games That Aren't Done

[Teddman]

Here's the full text of the GMR Ninja Gaiden review. Credit goes to WMX of the Xbox 365 forums for typing it up:

ok on the front cover...it says
WORLD EXCLUSIVE XBOX REVIEW
NINJA GAIDEN
WE WENT TO JAPAN! To be the first on the planet to play Tecmo's astounding blood-splattered ninjafest to the end!Wattaaaaaaah!

Then on page 47
Its got 5 screenshots one is ryu vs. some three toothed horned thing...one ryu against a worm...one close up of blonde chick...One of demon ladie...One with ryu fighting with some sycle weapons against some baraka type enemies...

Ok the review now
If Team Ninja's dalliance in volleyball was to show the world that its talents went beyond fighting games, then its action-adventure title Ninja Gaiden is proof positive that its time away from brawlers has been time well spent. AEmphatically, Ninja Gaiden makes its case as the action game to beat, a testament to the titles beauty, depth, and playablity.

As Ryu Hayabusa, you are set on a path to avenge your clans destruction at the hands of the Vigor Empire. During an extensive journey that sends you to Hell and back, you'll encounter allies in the mysterious Rachel and messenger (and DOA mainstay) Ayane.
As you begin the game, your offense consists merely of a katana and unlimited shurikens. As you run, jump, roll, and flip through the game, making your way past brutal swarms of fast moving enemies (no shuffling zombtards here) and some of the most insane boss encounters ever seen, you'll slowly but surely beef up your srsenal with brutal new weapons.

Besides a selection of swords (some can be found, others can be purchased and upgraded from in-game merchant Muramasa). Ryu will also find nunchuks, bows and arrows, a massaive throwing star, exploding shurikens, a giant warhammer, a Vigoor flail (lethal twin sickles), a harpoon gun, and a few other nifty unlockable surprises. And then there's the wide array of imposing, elemental "ninpo" attacks.

At nearly every step of the way awaits a wuartet of beautifully rendered hostiles upon which to unleash your wrath. Enemies come in all shapes and sizes via land, sea, and air, making life more difficult than you can imagine. THankfully, Ryu-no cheerleader for stealth operations-is prepped at all times for maximum combat, and this is where Ninja Gaiden shines. While button mashers can eke their way through the game, gamers who lean the ins and outs of each weapons deep move set will find a much more rewarding experience. As your proficiency grows, and as you upgrade each weapons, youll eventually turn Ryu into a killing machine. Heads will roll, literally.

When you learn to use the enviroments for maximum effect (wall running, char-up movies, back flips off pillars, ect.) the game takes on a visceral, electrifying quality, Ryu's capabitilities are as deep and complex as those of any soul calibur 2 character. And in 16 enormous levels packed with puzzles, action, secrets, gamers will find Ninja Gaiden to be a high-impact experience from its tragic opening to its satisfying, bittersweet curtain call.

If the game stumbles anywhere, its in its few cut-and-paste ovjectives(e.g.find the key, unlock the door.) and leven designs so ambitious, its often difficult to keep ones bearing. But when you consider Ninja Gaiden's sheer thrill power, combined with the fact that its the best-looking videogame around, these are only minor gripes.
While it might intimidate casual gamers, the hardcore will eat this up. Ninja Gaiden is the work of developers at the peak of their powers and is, pound for pound, light yearsbeyond anything else in the category.

END OF REVIEW
except for the live feature excerpt
They gave it a 9/10

Here is the Live Excerpt

Xbox Live users will be glad to know they can upload their best scores (yes, you earn a score) from a complete run through the Master Ninja Mode, and then see how they stack up against the competition. Tecmo and Microsoft will enshrine the best players who clear Master Ninja Mode on normal and hard difficulty and, for a limited time, reward the top finishers with special items. In the future, Team Ninja will offer additional high scoring chances via downloadable content (enemies, objectives, scenarios, and possibly levels). Be warned: Serious skills are required.

[Saint of Killers]

You know what really needs to stop? People whining about fucking videogame reviews. Some guy slaps a 6 on a game you thought was an 8 and it's like he wrote a detailed article about what your mother's like in bed. Holy shit, he might not have played the whole thing! Just shut the fuck up about it already. It's NOT serious journalism, and it never will be.

[Doug Branches]

Yeah I seriously can't understand this bullshit where for example a game like Mario Kart Double Dash got a 7.9 or 8.1 or whatever it was. All these people on messageboards acting like it's such an outrage that someone's opinion differed from theirs. Can people really be that lame that they give a fuck if some reviewer didn't have the same opinion as they did on a damn videogame?

[James]

IKilledthisthread

Subtle, in a not really all that subtle kind of way...

Saint, you know what really needs to stop? The attitude that "this is the way it is and this is the way it's always going to be and nothing we ever do will change it because it doesn't matter." Admitted, I don't want the New York Times Book Review of video gaming or anything, but reviews not actively sucking and people not accepting the fact that game journalism sucks aren't all that hard to hope for, or so completely unrealistic to want.

James

[Doug Branches]

congrats you win the big prize

[MVS]

It sucks that much, why don't you go do it and change that?

[Saint of Killers]

Because it's alot easier to bitch about it on a message board.

[The Shiva]

"When Halo came out and was reviewed and discussed by console gamers world wide it was often in a tone that would make you believe that the game was the second coming of Jesus Christ the gamer. I read some of the reviews praising the game and couldn't help but wonder if any of these reviewers had been playing any of the newer first person releases on the PC in the last few years.

Half Life was a milestone that didn't just add some new ideas to the genre; it completely rewrote the book of first person shooter. Halo added vehicles. In every other category it was either just average or competent. Is Halo the best FPS ever? No. Was it the best console side since Goldeneye? Yes."

Finally ........
Finally ..............
Finally ................

A reviewer with the balls to speak the truth. Halo is a very average game at best. I'm not saying it sucks, it is a decent game. But, all of these 9.9s and "one of the best games ever". That is a bunch a BS. Not to mention Bungie spent darn near 4 years developing the game. Heck, the game should've been better than what it was. You give a straight console gamer a FPS and it is like heroin. Goldeneye was absolute trash. *Though I did like lacing levels with proximity mines* I have heard more people call Goldeneye the best game ever than any other game. Just about every time it was someone who never played a console FPS. Compare Halo to AvP2 it's not even a contest, even the first AvP is way better than Halo. And don't even start with Deus Ex and Half-Life. I'm dreading Halo 2 in the worse way. Fanboys pants are getting wet already about the game. I gurantee you it will be the equivalent of a PC patch. Sorry I got off topic Zondaro, but I had to get that off my chest.

But, yeah it is wack to review essentially a beta copy of game. That's why if I even get the hint that a review is of an unfinished game. I stop reading it immediately. I'm not going to waste my time on it. They are cheating the gaming community when they do that. One of the big reasons they do it is because they want to be the first to have the review out for that big game. They must be think we are stupid. Reviews for RPGs popping up weeks before launch, knowing darn well they haven't even come close to finishing the game.