GI Joe Movie

[Advocate]

www.movietrainwrecks09.com

[Mr-K]

Link, pls.

It'll get published next week some time. I go on a rant about how people seeing mediocre movies just causes more mediocre movies to get made, same old shit.

[Timber]

So by just seeing the trailers you've already judged the movie mediocre and written an article about it?

[Dolemite]

It'll get published next week some time. I go on a rant about how people seeing mediocre movies just causes more mediocre movies to get made, same old shit.

Cool. I'll send you a link to my GI Joe review once I get it written and posted later this week.

[arjue]

I bet its better than Transformers.

[Mr-K]

So by just seeing the trailers you've already judged the movie mediocre and written an article about it?

Sort of. It's more of a plea for people to stop seeing fucking bad movies. I've been doing it all summer and avoided seeing Wolverine, Terminator and Tranformers 2 because they looked like unsatisfying turkeys that I didn't want to reward with my money.

Nathan Rabin from The AV Club wrote a bit on GI being barred from critics today

There was a time, not too long ago, when pretty much every studio film was screened for critics days, weeks or even months before their release. In those days not screening a film for critics was a tacit admission of a film’s crappiness.

That was then, this is now. Professional film critics have never wielded less power. Their numbers are declining steadily and studios are growing ever bolder in their bid them to remove them from the equation completely. Why screen Transformers 2: Check Out Megan Fox's Ass for some Poindexter killjoy who will harp upon its faults when the film’s advertising is happy to inform ticket buyers that it’s the non-stop thrill ride of the summer? Who needs a cultural conversation about a film’s merits when you can have a massive one-sided publicity blitz?

Not screening movies for critics has become so commonplace it hardly seems newsworthy but this article about Paramount’s decision not to screen G.I Joe for critics is especially sad and revealing.

The article quotes Rob Moore, vice chairman of Paramount Pictures as arguing self-servingly, "G.I. Joe' is a big, fun, summer event movie - one that we've seen audiences enjoy everywhere from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland to Phoenix, Ariz. After the chasm we experienced with `Transformers 2' between the response of audiences and critics, we chose to forgo opening-day print and broadcast reviews as a strategy to promote `G.I. Joe.' We want audiences to define this film."

That’s a PR way of saying, “Critics didn’t like Transformers 2 but we made a fuck-ton of money off it so fuck you, critics; enjoy your sad little efficiencies and non-existent job security while we snort Bolivian Marching Powder off pert 19 year olds and party in the Bahamas”.

This seems a little odd, since us pointy-headed critic types usually dig Joseph Gordon-Levitt movies and this has to be a lot like Manic, Brick or Mysterious Skin, right?

[Advocate]

So by just seeing the trailers you've already judged the movie mediocre and written an article about it?

I judged the movie by the script which was out on the net awhile ago. Its since been pulled, but everything I've wrote before about it has come to fruition.

Duke and CC are related.

[Chux]

ARE.YOU.FUCKING.JOKES?

[Mr-K]

I mean. It's not really hard to understand how this movie is going to suck

1. Stephen Sommers
2. Kid Rock
3. Nanobots
4. Marlon Wayans
5. Halo armor

I mean. Shit. Fuck it. Download it or sneak in for all I fucking care, just don't let this movie make a bajillion dollars like every other fucking lame franchise movie that came out this summer did (Save Star Trek which was awesome and deserved your money)

[Advocate]

ARE.YOU.FUCKING.JOKES?

No.

Duke and Baroness were once lovers and married. CC is the Baroness's brother. Duke & CC = Brother in laws.

Let's not get into the whole Destro mask ... being nanobots. Even though in the VERY beginning of the film the mask was a real mask.