"I tasted my semen, since women are always complaining about it (not mine specifically). It really doesn't taste that bad at all. I wouldn't spread it on a cracker or anything, but it's flavour is really quite innocuous. I've certainly tasted worse female genitalia. Women are so complainy. "
"945313390 Today I played Soul Calibur II from 1:30 to 11:30 and I think I've become sexually attracted to Ivy
and to a lesser extent Xianghua and Taki"
the videogame ones are the best
"563954661 Whenever I start to play Gamecube games, I suddenly have this overwhelming urge to masterbate more than anything. Even if it's a game with no sexually revealing characters (such as Pikmin and Mario Sunshine) "
"I killed my older brothers goldfish - and then deleted his save game on mario.
He found out about both and to repent i had to get him 100 lives on mario. Nobody gave a shit about the dead fish."
--
"i whack off while humming the Super Mario Bros. theme song.
no fucking joke."
--
"I was really drunk a couple of weeks ago and went to my girlfriend's bed to have sex. While I was doing a pretty job until I climaxed and after ejaculation I couldn't control myself and started to piss all over her, the bed and everything. I still feel pretty bad about that."
685789684 i can give my boyfriend blowjobs like alllllll day long....but he NEVER cums... what the fuck?! it's sooo annoying... i'm never gonna give up though. NEVER!!
Noted.
806976714 I've been collecting beanie babies for the past couple of years, and its become a real addiction. I have to get all the beanie babies ever made, I dont know why its just what I do. I've lost most of my friends, the only ones I have left are the beanie babies.
Im so lonely sometimes but they always seem to cheer me up somehow, they are all so cute!
651865931 My boyfriend is the love of my life. That is not the point. He makes THE most ridiculous grunting sounds I've ever heard when he's having an orgasm... I love it. I love making him feel that good. I love you, sweetheart.
721346438 Everyone has a good side and a bad side. I am 24 and have been keeping my evil side locked up for about 3 years. He just got out...
602363299 Ah, let's go.. I need to get this off of my chest.
Last weekend, me and a bunch of friends were drinking...me being a heavy drinker decided to wait til people passed out and do things to them (not sexual.) WELL, this one guy I know passed out (he tried funneling a ton of beer and he was a first timer) SO, I decided "hey, I don't like this guy and I shit all over him.
He woke up the next day screaming and whatnot..I forgot I had did it but eh, what can ya do?
I also put my penis into the mouth of his ol' lady friend. It was fun.
403826890 there is this annoying buck tooth bitch who quit the position that i have now but for some fucking reason the dumb bitch keeps coming back hello you quit you damn ugly bitch go get some braces stop coming here!!! ahhh i hope she gets hit by a bus
448476805 I work as as the person who refills vending machines for a living.
Anyway, I always fill the vending machines in a way so that it eather eats the change or the product get stuck on the metal screw despencer..
Then i get out of uniform and just sit down with a newspaper and LMAO at the people trying to vend.... It kind of like waching mice trying to find the chesse in a maze (but the chesse is teleporting from place to place)
I know i'm a sick bastard.
540542402 my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 months and we have sex all the time. but i cant really feel it. i really really wish he had a bigger dick.
987273250 i watch my sister fuck her boyfriend.
271999705 i ate so much food today...
cereal, sub, beef, banana bread, and cereal
i donno how some people can eat so much but not gain a god damn pound...meanwhile while im starving myself and not eating half as what i should be, i STILL have to go to the gym and work my ass of to be skinny
577777891 I was putting away my bb gun the other day when I saw this little kid skipping down the sidewalk with a HUGE balloon. I thought to myself, "what the hell...," so I opened my window and popped the ballon in one shot. At first I was pretty proud of myself; I didn't have my scope on the gun and it was about 70 feet out and bobbling around. But then the look on that little kid's face got to me. He looked the way that an adult would look if they found a loved one brutally murdered. I really felt awful after that one....
183928731 i ran out of fish food last week and i couldn't be bothered to buy any. one of the fish died yesterday. i feel really bad - he depended on me and i let him down.
In high school I was hot and had a hot boyfriend. There was a mentally handicapped kid in a few of my classes who was in love with me all 4 years. One day senior year I told him to meet me in the bathroom so we could have sex. So, he followed me and he let me take off all his clothes. Then, I yelled for my boyfriend to come in and he carried the poor little guy out into the courtyard naked at lunch time and left him there. We hid his clothes in a bush. The whole school laughed at him standing there covering his private area and nipples. I felt horrible afterwards. We even hid his glasses so he couldn't see well enough to find his way out of the middle of the courtyard.
900624996 There's a girl in one of my classes, and I can't tell if she's a lesbian or just Mormon.
344509823 A couple years ago, I went out with a girl I met online through a personal ad. Over the phone, she seemed literally perfect and we got too excited about the relationship before we met in person.
We hung out twice, and I led her on briefly and lied and told her I wasn't ready for a relationship because I was still hung up on my ex-girlfriend.
In reality, I just thought she was fat.
926575077 I'm a 42-year-old male, and just want a young boy penis in me.
metal = rude
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