(And so the team now heads for a barren part of North Dakota, to pick up possibly the team's most important member...)
S I C: Let me down now, I must see the Master!
Capcommie: No, he doesn't wish to be disturbed. Believe me, I know what's best.
S I C: No you don't! Now get out of my way and let me see Master Yoshi, its a matter of life and death!
Capcommie: Again...no.
Ragnarok: Oh sweet Jebus, do we have another icarus/Phoenix Angel Wing incident here? Time to POOF someone outta the Epic again...
S I C: You CAN'T warp him out of here, Rags, because he's not really here.
Ragnarok: Huh? What do you mean? He looks real enough to me!
S I C: Testament to the extent which my Master has mastered the Force. Master Yoshi's control of it is so complete, he's created a psychic projection of himself called "Capcommie" which has taken a life and sentience of its own. It now operates as his personal secretary and security guard, and it won't even let me, his Apprentice, in!
Bahn: Capcommie, I'm Bahn, leader of Team TNL.
Capcommie: I know who you are, Lord Bahn. Yoshi has spoken much to me about your exploits, and the adventurers you two shared.
Bahn: LORD Bahn, eh? I could get used to that...
Chux: *under breath* Just don't expect any of us to call you that...
Bahn: Anyways, this is urgent business, Capcommie, let us pass please.
Capcommie: .....very well. *presses button and Mario-style green piping tube rises out of the ground*
Bahn: OK, lets go guys! *they all start climbing down tube*
S I C: Umm, I should warn you guys...
(But before he can finish, the members of Team TNL have all already dived in.)
S I C: ...that first step is a doozy. Ah well... *grips nose and jumps down*
(The members of Team TNL emerge from the other end of the tube, and find themselves free-falling about 20,000 miles above land.)
ALL: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Klonoa: OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDD!!!! Please, if I get through this alive I promise I'll never complain about seeing Matt in his birthday suit again, EVER!
BooMsta: And I'll never again eat enough to feed a small Ethiopian village in one sitting again!
Mr-K: And I'll accept innova's canine antics!
innova: ARF! AWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Wildcat: And I'll never complain about Aurora touching me in my special place!
statio82: I love you guys! I really, really do!
Aurora: .....oh what the hell. I'M GAY!!!
OTHERS: NO SHIT!!!
S I C: Relax everyone, this is a Miyamoto-created video game world. And as such, we're subject only to his variation of video game physics, not gravity.
Rick: Forgive us for being cynical, but that cold, hard ground we're speeding towards says otherwise! Rags, do something!....Rags?
Ragnarok: *playing Tactics Ogre on his GBA*
Rick: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TWO SO CALM?!?
(And so they brace for impact.)
Klonoa: Hail Mary, full of...oh forget it. SAVE ME JEBUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!!! *thud*....huh? I...I'm ALIVE! We're ALIVE!
S I C: As I said, video game physics. Now had we fallen into a bottomless pit, then we would've really been screwed.
Wildcat: I can't take much more of this...
S I C: You won't have to. Yoshi's house is over there. Lets go.
(And so, after landing safely on Dinosaur Island, the weary travelers walk a short way to a house, if one can even call it that. A grove of fruit-bearing trees with a hammock suspended between two, a simple fireplace errected, and other homely amenities. There, in the center of the grove, sat Indian-style in deep meditation, was Jedi Master Yoshi.)
S I C: Master, we have come...
Yoshi: I know why you have come, my young Padawan. For you to journey south of the Canadian border this time of year, outside of our training sessions, it must be a matter of great importance.
S I C: And it is. Can you shed light on the predicament which we find ourselves in?
Nash: Ahhh, Lucas-speak, gotta love it!
S I C: Shhhh!
Yoshi: I have sensed a disturbance in the Force...
OTHERS: *gasp*
Yoshi: ...and it is emanating from...*eyes open sharply* Southern California!
Master: California? DAMMIT ALL TO HELL, WE STARTED OUR TRIP ON THE WEST COAST! Why couldn't we have discoverd this sooner?
Yoshi: Even if you had so, there was nothing you could do. To solve this mystery, you will need the full physical force and mental faculties of Team TNL. You were wise to assemble this formidable force of warriors before you proceeded.
Nash: Well, then, what now? Can you find who is it who's behind this with your Force powers?
Yoshi: The Dark Side clouds everything, the identity of your attackers is shielded from me.
Chibi Nappa: Well, hell, why not just read Wildcat's mind? Mebbe you can find something out he can't remember.
Silent Wildcat: .....
Yoshi: I have already tried that. Clouded this boy's mind is, as clouded as the events going on in SoCal. But there is still hope...
S I C: Do you sense something Master?
Yoshi: Indeed I have, young Padawan. Though it is faint, I feel you will find the answers you seek at E3...
OTHERS: E3?! Excellent! *do air guitars*
Yoshi: This is not the time for video game-related merriment or bad Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure references! Grave danger I fear awaits you there, be careful.
S I C: We are many and we are strong, Master, we are not afraid.
Yoshi: Oh you will be....you will be...
Silent Others: ......
Ragnarok: Oh, shit, I'm sorry, was this part of the Epic supposed to end there?
Yoshi: Yes, it was. Way to ruin the mood Ragnarok! *force grips Ragnarok, lifts him into air, turns him horizontally, and force throws him, crotch-first, into a tree*
Bahn: Ouch...
Aurora: Oh dear...
Ragnarok: Unnnnngh...that's it Yoshi...your not in the fucking Epic anymore!
Yoshi: Strike me down now and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine...
Ragnarok: Dammit...foiled again...
S I C: That's why he is the Master.
(And so ends this part of the Epic with the team almost completely assembled. What awaits our intrepid adventurers at E3? Will it be there that the identity of the assailant will be discovered? Stay tuned!)
Originally Posted by Ex Ranza
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