Sexual Regrets

[MechDeus]

My only sexual regrets are that I'm not currently getting laid and that I didn't do anything horribly mean to my last girlfriend. What a fucking bitch she turned into.

you know, it didn't occur to me that that might be wierd until i was typing it just now.

...

Wow. Just wow.

[M]

I honestly regret nothing.

[Cowutopia]

Oh, and girls that swallow rock. A BJ ain't the same if they don't.

This is news that is not only to be believed, but should make headlines every day.

[Rocca]

I was dating her actually, we used to play all these wierd games. One of them was called "Stick in the Mud Chicken", where we'd try to see stick our fingers into each other's butt and see who would chicken out first before anyone succeeded. So stuff like this wasn't that unexpected. So when she tried to do that as soon as i could tell i spit it back on her all over her face.

Well as long as you didn't date an el-e-phant you're ooooooooooookay!

[PKBMax]

The poon has strong pull - like a tractor beam.

That's some funny shit.

[sethsez]

The one time I slept with a woman. I mean, it pretty much cemented the fact that I was gay into my brain, but still. Most awkward night ever.

Aside from that, nothing really. I mean, aside from the usual "slept with an ugly" that everyone's done once or twice and really wishes they could just forget, but I don't have any real interesting stories.

[arjue]

"Stick in the Mud Chicken"

LOL.

[Master]

For me, it's definitly busting on my girl's face. It seemed like a really cool idea until the second my orgasim ended. Then I felt really really bad about it. I guess I just respect(ed) her too much.

So many of you "guys" are puffs.

And what? You respected her too much to have fun with your sex? God forbid!

Have you learned nothing? Communicate what you want, say it like it's expected and you get anything you want. Be a man.

And there is no i in orgasm.

Man, how can you let your girl know her place if you don't pop on her face?

[AstroBlue]

there is no i in orgasm.

But there is an ex in sex.

[Dolemite]

Please enlighten me: How exactly did it fuck up your relationship?

I'm really fucking curious.

Eh, you know how teenage girls can be. We were buddies, one day we were just hanging out and it happened. Things got really akward after that and soon we just stopped talking altogether. Teenagers are wacky that way.

The one major thing that seperates men and women I think is guilt. Women usually feel it a hell of a lot more than men. And who knows? I really wanted to get laid at the time because, as you know, there's lots of pressure on a kid to "do it" because sex is supposed to be the end-all, be-all of existence and all that bullshit. So maybe I, in turn, made her feel pressured or something. I don't know. All teenagers are retarded. I'm glad I'm not one anymore.

[bahn]

I honestly regret nothing.

Most sexpots usually don't.

[Dolemite]

heil mary.

[Brisco Bold]

Eh, you know how teenage girls can be. We were buddies, one day we were just hanging out and it happened. Things got really akward after that and soon we just stopped talking altogether. Teenagers are wacky that way.

The one major thing that seperates men and women I think is guilt. Women usually feel it a hell of a lot more than men. And who knows? I really wanted to get laid at the time because, as you know, there's lots of pressure on a kid to "do it" because sex is supposed to be the end-all, be-all of existence and all that bullshit. So maybe I, in turn, made her feel pressured or something. I don't know. All teenagers are retarded. I'm glad I'm not one anymore.

Makes sense. Tho, for some reason, I thought it might have had something to do with something other than 'teenagers being wacky.'

Don't mind me.

*whistles*

[Lordmrw]

Amazingly enough, the only regrets that I have are the blatantly obvious times really hot girls wanted to do me, and I had my head in my ass. When I think back on it, some of those girls were ones my friends would have given a testicle to hit, and they damn near did everything except put their bush in my face, and I was too damn dumb to do the deed.

[Dolemite]

Makes sense. Tho, for some reason, I thought it might have had something to do with something other than 'teenagers being wacky.'

Don't mind me.

*whistles*

No, no, nothing complicated. Just the usual teen angst.

[g0zen]

Getting caught by the mother. So embarassed I almost wanted to do like a tap dance or something to make the situation even more ridiculous.

[Dolemite]

LOLZ

Did she actually catch you...ahem...inside her daughter? I mean, how much did she see?

[Fe 26]

I know what I said. I periodically use German words. I blame too much hellsing and Indiana Jones' movies.

[Jetman]

Man, how can you let your girl know her place if you don't pop on her face?

That's awesome. It should be in nursery ryhme books everywhere,and taught to kids at a young age.

[sethsez]

Getting caught by the mother.

This has happened to me, too.

You think it's bad when the mother sees you inside her precious daughter? It's worse when you're inside her precious son. By far.

[g0zen]

LOLZ

Did she actually catch you...ahem...inside her daughter? I mean, how much did she see?

I was standing with my pants down and the girl was knelt down...going to work. I hear the door open and my blood fucking runs cold.

[Burky]

By Gozen
I was standing with my pants down and the girl was knelt down...going to work. I hear the door open and my blood fucking runs cold.

What was the situation? Was it the middle of the day or something when her parents were in? You should have at least blocked the door. I'd be terrified of that happening.

[Jetman]

I was standing with my pants down and the girl was knelt down...going to work. I hear the door open and my blood fucking runs cold.

Sounds to me like you were set-up.The girl must've wanted to get back at mommy for something. I mean why didnt she lock the door?

[g0zen]

Sounds to me like you were set-up.The girl must've wanted to get back at mommy for something. I mean why didnt she lock the door?

I don't think she had a lock, besides this all happened kind of spur of the moment. The 'risk' of getting caught was there, but you never in your wildest dreams ever think it's going to happen...Until it fucking does.

What was the situation? Was it the middle of the day or something when her parents were in? You should have at least blocked the door. I'd be terrified of that happening.

It was around late afternoon, and like I said it just sort of happened.

[bandit]

Amazingly enough, the only regrets that I have are the blatantly obvious times really hot girls wanted to do me, and I had my head in my ass. When I think back on it, some of those girls were ones my friends would have given a testicle to hit, and they damn near did everything except put their bush in my face, and I was too damn dumb to do the deed.

Im sorry but you must be gay then.

[Grave]

Getting caught by the mother. So embarassed I almost wanted to do like a tap dance or something to make the situation even more ridiculous.

Sometimes not getting caught can be pretty ridiculous too. It's really great when you sneak over to your girlfriend's house on a school night in high school, and in the middle of the night while you're pounding away, her mother knocks on the door, and you have to hide in her closet wearing nothing but a condom. Fun times.

I don't regret anything though. Other than the fact that this semester, the girlfriend is so busy/exhausted all the time that we don't get to do much. But hey, spring break.

[elfneedsfood]

I regret dating my ex for four and half years. I don't regret dating her in general, I just regret dating her for as long as I did. It just seems like a fucking waste.

[bandit]

Almost got caught once. Since all my bedrooms were being redone except for my parents, I had to sleep in the living room since that was where my bed was. Had my (ex)girlfriend over and we were watching dvds. Ran to the dinning room to get my condom, since that was were all my stuff was. We started to go at it. Next thing you know it, mom starts walking down the stairs. Hid under the covers..NAKED. She went back upstairs and we waited to hear the door close and back to where we left off.

[Dolemite]

This has happened to me, too.

You think it's bad when the mother sees you inside her precious daughter? It's worse when you're inside her precious son. By far.

One thing...did his mom know her son was gay before or after she caught you giving him the business?

I regret dating my ex for four and half years. I don't regret dating her in general, I just regret dating her for as long as I did. It just seems like a fucking waste.

Eh, I had an ex with whom I probably should have broken up with a year or so earlier as well. It's just hard when you've been dating them that long.

[sethsez]

One thing...did his mom know her son was gay before or after she caught you giving him the business?

She knew and was cool with it, but she had no clue he and I were anything more than friends. Luckily she liked me beforehand so it wasn't that awkward (afterward, I mean. At the time everyone involved wanted to die).