Sega buys Creative Assembly

[Andy]

Sega decides to be a publisher. When they thought, "Hay you guys we could be suksessfull at putting games on things that aren't ourz," they were thinking, "Like Capcom," or simularly, "Like Konami." Like these because they rely entirely (almost) on Japanese games.

Japanese games haven't been selling good unless they're named Resident Evil or Metal Gear Solid.

"Oops, my bad," Sega thought, finally, and they took another dim witted look around. "Hay! Those guys at Ubisoft and Take 2 are making tons of moneys! Why can't we?"

They don't relese lots of shite japanese games from long dead franchises.

So Sega takes its chump change to PC devs. "Hay you guys, could you let us buy you we've got moneyz and you could make games for us." They talked to Epic and they said, "Fuck off, kindly." and Midway booted them out the door. Sega's heart was crushed. They didn't have a lot of money afterall. So from dev to dev they asked and asked and again and again they were denied.

Executive Some Guy (his official position) at Sega said, "Hay you guys! All of these developers cost too much because all of their games sell really well, unlike ours, maybe we need a developer whose games DON'T sell well!"

This man was promoted and they took up publishing rights to The Matrix Online, which no other publisher in their right minds would put money into. This was BIG NEWS for Sega and they intended it to be BIG NEWS for all the gamers too. They then made deals with Climax to make Warhammer games (Climax's last game was Sudeki for Xbox.. it sucked) and Warhammer seems to look like something people would buy, right?*

This leads us to now. Creative Assembly, with their small but devout fanbase who have kept them alive from infrequent, but cool, game to infrequent, but cool, game, was asked to join Sega's l33t gang and they showed them some money. No one was interesting in funding the company before... publishing their games was as much as Activision was willing to muster. Creative Assembly said, "Man, these guys are idiots. But we can make some cash maybe... ahh hell, it'll be 3 years before we can finish anything else again. Why not take them for a ride."

And so they did.

SEGA Enterprises: "Hay you guyz"

*I like warhammer, I don't expect too many others to like it. Shame they didn't grab the people who made Dawn of War which owns (and came out the same day as Rome: Total War. This means nothing, but I thought it was neat nonetheless.)

Wow. I think I need a towel. I've been drenched by the sheer wit, just dripping off this post.

http://ps2.ign.com/articles/610/610068p1.html

Well...so far it's looking more like Dynasty Warriors meets Shadow of Rome with a splash of God of War thrown in. And that will make me a sad panda if true.

What did you want? Dynasty Warriors + Shadow of Rome + God of War = not awesome?

[Error]

If they can take the good aspects from each of those games then yes, it would = awesome. But each of those games had some flaws, and I'm worried the flaws will move over with the good points.

Plus magic has never been a part of the process for Total War, so seeing it included in Total Warrior strikes me as disturbing.