We next went to a local shopping mall. Milling about was a pudgy, slovenly youth wearing a filthy blue hat and sweater who was busy attempting to pick up very underaged girls by offering them warm, lint-covered gummi bears. He looked like the typical "gamer" so we asked to speak with him about the incident. Of course, the odor surrounding him was almost unbearable but we persevered because we knew this creature was about as good an example of a "gamer" as we were likey to find. After plying him with McDonald's apple pies and french fries, he agreed to demostrate his "phat video game skills, yo" (his words) to us. We went into a videogame retailer, and were greeted by the groans of the staff there. According to them, this individual was well known as someone who plays all the demo games, bothers customers, steals merchandise, and never actually buys anything.
Anyway, this "gamer" started playing "Need For Speed," the game responsible for more automotive deaths than drunk driving, and proceeded to crash into everything moving with his virtual car. I asked if this was how the game was meant to be played as he ran over his 200th pedestrian, but he ignored me. He started giggling and cackling like a spaztic retard, jumping up and down while playing, his nose running freely. He grinned like a maniac, puss running from his inflamed gums down over where his teeth should have been, had he had any. He seemed unable or unwilling to keep the car on the road, riding on sidewalks, bushes, etc. He got so carried away with his antics that he was ejected by the game store staff and beaten outside by mall security while crying and defecating uncontrollably. When we walked past the now blood and stool-covered "gamer," he babbled about how "it's just a game" or some nonsense and then started eating bugs, but at that point we had turned off the cameras out of sheer disgust. This reporter has never been so sickened when covering a story before.
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Originally Posted by Chux
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