Paris Hilton goes to jail

[George]

[voltz]

[Pineapple]

seriously, not even close.

[Anal Kaboom]

I know seriously that wasn't even areal assault.

[Doc Holliday]

~ PARIS TO SAVE ALCOHOLIC ELEPHANTS! ~

GAUHATI, India - With Rwanda off her charity calendar, Paris Hilton has turned her attention to the plight of ... drunken elephants in India.

"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," the 26-year-old socialite was quoted as saying by the World Entertainment News Network's Web site.

In the wake of her jail term for an alcohol-related reckless driving case, Hilton is seeking to remake her image from club-hopping party girl to world-traveling do-gooder. She announced plans to do charity work in Rwanda, but the trip was postponed until next year.

Then opportunity for Hilton's "global elephant campaign" knocked last month when six parched pachyderms broke into a farm in the state of Meghalaya and guzzled farmers' homemade rice beer. The elephants went on a rampage, then uprooted an electricity pole and were jolted to death.

"There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn't chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad," Hilton was quoted as saying in last week in Tokyo, where she was judging a beauty contest.

news
verily

[Dolemite]

That can't be real.

[Shooting Love]

The story of the six elephants that were electrocuted to death was an MSN/Hotmail news snippet back when it happened. One knocked over the power line and got fried, then the others moved close to help their writhing buddy and were all fried as well. Pretty sad, considering they were just looking for a cheap buzz (Hey, no pun intended).

[Gohron]

The suspended license part was important too.

It sounds like she was claustrophobic and was pretty much freaking out when she first got in there. I'm not making excuses for her but that shit is not good times. Not good times at all.

In PA, if you get caught driving on a suspended liscence, there's a minimum 60 day incarceration that goes along with it, and that's when you're sober.