The Official "I'm Intoxicated" Thread - Operation: Fuck Drunk Bitches

[The_Meach]

'Livet is very good. Which one?

[PaCrappa]

dusty monkey on a hashwad steed
traversing the plains of the pink laptop

Also I've been trying to get rid of all of this stuff I've packratted over the years. While going through a box I found my old King County Inmate Information Handbook and decided I'd better brush up. I got a laugh out of article 210:



Pruno? WTF. I was having visions of down and out dudes wedging prunes up their bungholes to sneak into jail and make some jail wine with so I had to look it up. I wasn't too far off. http://www.blacktable.com/gillin030901.htm

Apparently the name comes from the poem:

RECIPE FOR PRISON PRUNO
by Jarvis Jay Masters

Take ten peeled oranges,
Jarvis Masters, it is the judgment and sentence of this court,
one 8 oz. bowl of fruit cocktail,
that the charged information was true,
squeeze the fruit into a small plastic bag,
and the jury having previously, on said date,
and put the juice along with the mash inside,
found that the penalty shall be death,
add 16 oz. of water and seal the bag tightly.
and this Court having, on August 20, 1991,
Place the bag into your sink,
denied your motion for a new trial,
and heat it with hot running water for 15 minutes.
it is the order of this Court that you suffer death,
wrap towels around the bag to keep it warm for fermentation.
said penalty to be inflicted within the walls of San Quentin,
Stash the bag in your cell undisturbed for 48 hours.
at which place you shall be put to death,
When the time has elapsed,
in the manner prescribed by law,
add 40 to 60 cubes of white sugar,
the date later to be fixed by the Court in warrant of execution.
six teaspoons of ketchup,
You are remanded to the custody of the warden of San Quentin,
then heat again for 30 minutes,
to be held by him pending final
secure the bag as done before,
determination of your appeal.
then stash the bag undisturbed again for 72 hours.
It is so ordered.
Reheat daily for 15 minutes.
In witness whereof,
After 72 hours,
I have hereon set my hand as Judge of this Superior Court,
with a spoon, skim off the mash,
and I have caused the seal of this Court to be affixed thereto.
pour the remaining portion into two 18 oz. cups.
May God have mercy on your soul,
Guzzle down quickly!
Mr. Jarvis Masters.
Gulp Gulp Gulp!

[The_Meach]

Word, bitches. Word.

[Rated E]

Confuscious say, girl who go ice skating drunjk end up with more bruises.

[Nick]

Law say, Drinking age in your home state 21. Good law protect you from emotional bruises (and Mzo).

[MechDeus]

A couple stouts, about four shots of various things, a quadruple of scotch, and a couple other tidbits I don't quite recall made for a fun birthday gathering. Also somehow made the awkward random appearance of an ex go over smoother than I was expecting, considering that she's avoided talking to me for the last couple years whenever we run into each other. Alcohol promotes peace.

It was a much larger gathering than I expected, mostly because I forgot MySpace alerts people to birthdays. Was wierding me out at first as to how so many of my friends knew what was going on.

[bbobb]

Law say, Drinking age in your home state 21. Good law protect you from emotional bruises (and Mzo).

Is she over the age of 16?

If so then she's safe. from Mzo

[Othello Harrington]

Biff learned a new lesson last night. I pulled a hammy running with my dog, so I took 2 soma's and had 6 beers. I couldn't drive home. GF is giving me grief so I sent her to the store for bacon.

[Shin Johnpv]

Vodka owns me.

[The_Meach]

How much a bottle?