Need help: Short Story

[Brisco Bold]

WTF Brisco PM me your story link please, I want to read and constructivize

Just look at the corrected one. It's in my second post.

[cigsthecat]

I'll admit, there are times when I'm super disheartened. You sometimes wonder whether you've plateaued and can't get better. Whether you're the best you'll ever be.

Usually when this happens it means you're on the verge of a breakthrough. It sucks doing a bunch of crappy work to get to the better stuff, but it's the only way.

[Brisco Bold]

Something new.

Edit: I've tweaked it slightly. Here's an updated version.

[Andrew]

I'm early into it, but so far it's pretty good.

Only one thing struck me as odd, in the very beginning: why is Evan "swinging" from the ceiling? Unless his mom walked in moments after he completed the act, it would make more sense if he were perfectly still. And early morning is a very odd time to end one's life (feels more like a late day/evening sort of activity to me). Other than that little quibble, so far, so good.

[Brisco Bold]

I'm early into it, but so far it's pretty good.

Only one thing struck me as odd, in the very beginning: why is Evan "swinging" from the ceiling? Unless his mom walked in moments after he completed the act, it would make more sense if he were perfectly still. And early morning is a very odd time to end one's life (feels more like a late day/evening sort of activity to me). Other than that little quibble, so far, so good.

Thanks man! Yeah, committing suicide in the morning is odd, but it does happened. I know that personally.