Post Your Pictures, Part XX

[icarusfall]

I get angry enough if I have to get up to pee at night.

[Satsuki]

Yeah, same here lol

[Fe 26]

I kind of want a kid, but I have no plans of being a perfect or modern parent. Growing up, my hobbies and interest did not get to dominate my parents' lives, so I have no plans of letting any little mes dominate mine. I spent weekends fetching tools for my dad or working outside. I expect the same.

And for most of my life I've lived like a dad. I never went clubbing, or raving, or whatever. I don't try to hit up all the bars. When I travel, I go look at buildings, or museums, all things a little kid can enjoy.


I have one friend irl that I wonder what he is going to do when he hits the end game. All he does is go to bars. No hobbies. Work and Bars. What does he expect to do if he actually gets married and has a kid? What is he going to do with all that free time? He'll go nuts.

[Josh]

He'll drink at home.

[Frogacuda]

I want to have kids, but I'll probably be good and old by the time it happens. My girlfriend seems to think that's at least 5 or 6 years off for her, which would put me in my early 40s.

[kedawa]

I don''t really care about the propagation of genes. My genes gave me poor vision and bad skin. Besides, after a few generations, it's just background noise anyway.
Having children for the psychological rewards is understandable, though. It's just not for me, and honestly, I don't think it's an option to begin with.

[Gohron]

I kinda see it like this. I know that I'd be a great mother, and my husband would be a great father. I think kids are pretty rad as a whole (in small doses.) But there's a few things that really have put the stopper on me having kids.
First and foremost, I've wanted to make a contribution to society since I was young. I mean this in an creative sense, or possibly academic sense, I want to add to the knowledge and culture of the world. If I had a child, they would be first and foremost on my responsibilities, and my ability to pursue learning and knowledge (in the sense of academics) would be put on hold. I'd have to choose between the two, and I wouldn't do that to a child. I would have an enormous amount of resentment if I did, and that is NOT FAIR to burden someone else with that when I know full well that I have the control in the situation. Parents who blame their children for their shortcomings are terrible, evil people - and I will not willingly be part of that.
Second, my health and stamina are garbage. I worry about the physicality of having a child, and I'm not 100% sure I would survive it, or be able to bounce back from pregnancy easily.
Thirdly, from a philosophical standpoint, I have asked myself the question that if I were to somehow get pregnant, could I deal with my child having something like Downs' Syndrome? Or an imperfect body (born missing a limb, things like that?) What about if they had severe OCD or schizophrenia, or another life altering mental illness that runs so heavily in my family? I can't even deal with the first example, let alone the others. Once again, it is unfair of me to burden a child with my preconceived notions of what I feel I am entitled to.

So, these are my reasons for not having children. I am happy to hear about my friend's children, I don't mind the plethora of baby pictures that flood my facebook wall, and I do feel for my parents who so desperately want grandkids. But, this is my life, this is my body, this is my future - and I come first. I won't pretend otherwise.

I do understand where parents are coming from when they say that I am missing out. This is true, just as they are missing out but not pursuing higher education or striving for their dream careers. But a choice has to be made.

You'd be surprised by what you can manage to accomplish when you have kids. I've seen some people even do better with their academics after having children. It can be a drag (I was in school full-time, working full-time, married, and a baby boy for a bit) but your motivation and resolve may increase in ways you hadn't previously experienced. The learning experience you have with children can offer you new insight on your goals and life in general; things maybe you wouldn't have realized otherwise.

I understand your arguments though Satsuki. It's a mature and responsible approach. I'm not really trying to debate your decision not to have kids; just making conversation for the sake of the topic 😁 Stuff maybe you'd consider though? Sometimes people change their minds (from both sides).

[M]

Procreation is not part of my life plan: never has nor will be.

Anyone who hassles me about gets the above repeated as many times as required.

I'm grateful my husband is absolutely on the same page.

[Satsuki]

I understand your arguments though Satsuki. It's a mature and responsible approach. I'm not really trying to debate your decision not to have kids; just making conversation for the sake of the topic Stuff maybe you'd consider though? Sometimes people change their minds (from both sides).

Nah, no worries man, I've said it before but TNL is like a family to me, I know we're all in different life stages and positions but we're able to talk and debate about stuff like friends and family do! I mean, I've definitely thought about what would happen if I got pregnant, I'm really meticulous about birth control but obviously things happen. I don't know if I could bring myself to get an abortion....but i don't know if I could go through with a pregnancy either. I just honestly hope I'll never have to make a decision like that.

But you're right of course, there's people out there who balance far more than I could even imagine - look at Kim Kardashian or Beyoncé - and they obviously haven't given up their careers to have kids.

[Cowutopia]

Two girls I dated had to have abortions (possibly 3?) and my wife had one before me.