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Thank god that kind of behaviour is limited to the religious.
Do people give you a lot of shit for this? We are really good friends with a couple who have decided not to have kids and the girl has all these stories of people, strangers, colleagues who get all up in her business over it. I don't get it. Sounds like classic religious style prescriptivism where people need to validate their life choices by insisting you do what they do.Originally Posted by Satsuki
Thank god that kind of behaviour is limited to the religious.
People just don't know how to react. It's like they want to be sad or something, but not having kids is the best shit ever. Im starting to feel sorry for the people that have them.
i drink it up!
That's exactly the same reaction they have to you not having them though? Life choices dick measuring at its best.
Good old indifference and not needing to have an opinion about someone else's life choices that don't affect me in any way is the way to go.
As a parent you feel a certain joy and love that you would never feel before you had a kid, you look back at the before time like something is missing; your life, your soul had a hole in it. I could see a parent feeling that everyone should experience that, but the fact is not everyone needs or wants to have kids. You don't want them, don't have them, it's fine!
It was an easy analogy but people do it in all aspects of life.
Constantly. I've heard horror stories of worse, some people can get downright invasive - mine have been fairly mild ranging from doctors (!) telling me I'll change my mind, to family members. Nope, I can guarantee I won't change my mind, I have felt strongly about this since I was very young. I'm lucky enough to not deal with coworkers right now, but I imagine when I join the workforce again it will be annoying at times. My saving grace has been that I mostly interact with students and school-centered things, I live in a college student part of town, I'm moving to a college town soon, etc - so people just kind of figure I'm younger than I am and dont ask about my kid status.
I mean look, I love my kid. She is the coolest fucking human I know. She got up today and came into my room and started singing the cat with two heads to me. She makes up crazy games with robots and monsters and she is generally a ton of fun. That said, having her has destroyed my old lifestyle and has definitely changed the whole trajectory of my life. Sometimes I can't help but wonder what I would have accomplished at this point with the extra money and time I would have had, but I wouldn't trade. I'm happy to have her and I hope to do right by her. I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me. We made this choice knowing it would change everything, and we talked and thought hard about it for a long time. My life has changed in ways I never could have predicted, and it isn't always easy but it isn't always hard either.
All that said I totally respect anyone's decision not to have kids. It opens up a totally different set of opportunities. I'm happy to be friends with both types of people. I sill get invited to a ton of rad shit, and we go do as much of it as we can, and we bring Brie to as much of it as we can. It helps that she is rad as shit. She doesn't ruin dinners out or parties or anything. She has been partying with our adult friends since she was born and we still had roommates (my friends from college that needed temporary housing) and she is really great around adults. I know a lot of people get mad when you bring your kid to places that "aren't for kids" but fuck those people. The world isn't made for anyone to exclusively enjoy.
Man I'm on a rant here. Bottom line is respect other people, try to understand them, and realize that the weird shit that you have come up with to get you through life is not always, or even usually the same shit that gets other people through life.
Why is this so hard for people?
Last edited by Cowutopia; 23 Oct 2016 at 11:08 PM. Reason: Fixing typos
something I started doing eight years ago that I still actively try to do is eliminating saying the words "you should" to anyone. It's helped me a lot.
Man, people are crazy.
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