Post Your Pictures, Part XX

[Some Stupid Japanese Name]

I mean look.

Say no more.

[Gohron]

I think it's kind of weird for people not to want to have kids. I didn't want them when I was younger (late teens) but I felt pretty strongly about it. Kind of like I'm not accomplishing my full potential if I don't pass on my genetics I guess? What Cow said above is completely spot on about your old lifestyle being destroyed but like him, I wouldn't trade it. My son has filled me with emotions and motivations to be better that I wouldn't have otherwise. It's weird from my perspective but it's a decision everybody needs to make on their own and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as other people's choices aren't fucking up your own life then you should stay the fuck out of theirs.

[icarusfall]

I have no interest in kids. I'd be a shitty father.

People still give me grief for it from time to time.

In a moment of drunk honesty, my best friend even said that if he could do it all over, he wouldn't have them.

[Cowutopia]

That's real sad.

[Cowutopia]

Anyway I got my friend this shirt. Thought it was pretty good. sgr-neverpreg-shirt.jpg

[Melf]

I love my two daughters more than life itself and wouldn't trade them for anything. I've accomplished virtually all the goals I've had for myself, and I've never thought about what more I might have achieved had I not had kids.

What I've never done, however, is tell people they're doing something wrong if they don't have kids. Why should I care? You want kids? Have kids. You don't? Don't.

[Dolemite]

I've never wanted kids, for a long as I remember. Zero interest whatsoever. I don't really get much shit about it, either, mostly because I've been so dead set against it for so long. My mother occasionally makes a joke about having cats as grandchildren (hell, my sister already gave her two human grandkids, that should be enough), but otherwise it's understood and accepted.

In a moment of drunk honesty, my best friend even said that if he could do it all over, he wouldn't have them.

A buddy of mine doesn't have to be drunk to say that. He has two kids and is brutally honest with me about them...basically, if he had it to do over again, he wouldn't have had them. And they're just run of the mill kids, not little monsters or anything, but he he just (secretly) hates being a dad due the the total drain on his free time and money.

I think more people feel this way about their kids than they let on, but keep it to themselves for fear of society labeling them as monsters. Which, of course, they would.

not having kids is the best shit ever. Im starting to feel sorry for the people that have them.

This.

As a parent you feel a certain joy and love that you would never feel before you had a kid, you look back at the before time like something is missing; your life, your soul had a hole in it.

Speak for yourself. I'm legit glad having a kid plugged such a hole in your life (the same goes for any of you guys that have kids), but I'm pretty fucking happy as-is, thank you very much.

I mean look, I love my kid. She is the coolest fucking human I know. She got up today and came into my room and started singing the cat with two heads to me. She makes up crazy games with robots and monsters and she is generally a ton of fun. That said, having her has destroyed my old lifestyle and has definitely changed the whole trajectory of my life. Sometimes I can't help but wonder what I would have accomplished at this point with the extra money and time I would have had, but I wouldn't trade. I'm happy to have her and I hope to do right by her. I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me. We made this choice knowing it would change everything, and we talked and thought hard about it for a long time. My life has changed in ways I never could have predicted, and it isn't always easy but it isn't always hard either.

All that said I totally respect anyone's decision not to have kids. It opens up totally different set of opportunities. I'm happy to be friends with both types of people. I sill get invited to a ton of rad shit, and we go do as much of it as we can, and we bring Brie to as much of it as we can. It helps that she is rad as shit. She doesn't ruin dinners out or parties or anything. She has been partying with our adult friends since she was born and we still had roommates (my friends from college that needed temporary housing) and she is really great around adults. I know a lot of people get mad when you ring your kid to places that "aren't for kids" but fuck those people. The world isn't made for anyone to exclusively enjoy.

Man I'm on a rant here. Bottom line is respect other people, try to understand them, and realize that the weird shit that you have come up with to get you through life is not always, or even usually the same shit that gets other people through life.


Why is this so hard for people?

Thank you. Most level-headed post here.

That said, your kid sounds awesome, and you sound like a kick-ass dad.

[BerringerX]

I never thought I'd want kids, but now that I do, I wouldn't change a thing. Especially now that I don't get nearly enough time with him. I feel incomplete without the little guy, and I try to make the most of the time we have. He's an awesome little guy.

That being said, you don't want kids? Good for you. Your life is your choice, fuck anyone who tells you different.

[Gohron]

I get the whole "if I could only do it differently" argument; there's definitely down sides. Also, most of the people who say things like that wouldn't give up their children if the government came along and said they had a better place for them, no strings attached.

It's just difficult to explain to people who haven't felt that emotion. Some of you might change your mind if you did accidentally have a child. Not saying it's for everyone. If you don't want them, you certainly shouldn't have them because it'll make their lives harder. For me, it's also a connection to the nostalgia I have for my own childhood. Personally, for me, I can't think of anything better in the whole world.

This is all just for me personally. My opinion and feelings may be completely different from other people. I think it's nuts that people feel the need to actually chastise other people just because they don't want kids.

[Satsuki]

I kinda see it like this. I know that I'd be a great mother, and my husband would be a great father. I think kids are pretty rad as a whole (in small doses.) But there's a few things that really have put the stopper on me having kids.
First and foremost, I've wanted to make a contribution to society since I was young. I mean this in an creative sense, or possibly academic sense, I want to add to the knowledge and culture of the world. If I had a child, they would be first and foremost on my responsibilities, and my ability to pursue learning and knowledge (in the sense of academics) would be put on hold. I'd have to choose between the two, and I wouldn't do that to a child. I would have an enormous amount of resentment if I did, and that is NOT FAIR to burden someone else with that when I know full well that I have the control in the situation. Parents who blame their children for their shortcomings are terrible, evil people - and I will not willingly be part of that.
Second, my health and stamina are garbage. I worry about the physicality of having a child, and I'm not 100% sure I would survive it, or be able to bounce back from pregnancy easily.
Thirdly, from a philosophical standpoint, I have asked myself the question that if I were to somehow get pregnant, could I deal with my child having something like Downs' Syndrome? Or an imperfect body (born missing a limb, things like that?) What about if they had severe OCD or schizophrenia, or another life altering mental illness that runs so heavily in my family? I can't even deal with the first example, let alone the others. Once again, it is unfair of me to burden a child with my preconceived notions of what I feel I am entitled to.

So, these are my reasons for not having children. I am happy to hear about my friend's children, I don't mind the plethora of baby pictures that flood my facebook wall, and I do feel for my parents who so desperately want grandkids. But, this is my life, this is my body, this is my future - and I come first. I won't pretend otherwise.

I do understand where parents are coming from when they say that I am missing out. This is true, just as they are missing out but not pursuing higher education or striving for their dream careers. But a choice has to be made.