Senors, I have the power of life and death!

[robbo]

don't you mean pork

[Chris]

Yeah, that too.
And Kangaroo.
And Platypus.
And many other things...

[Eddy]

Hey, I forgot to tell you guys...

I got paid for my three hours of jury duty.  9 bucks, plus gas money for a total of 18 dollars and change.  Heh heh heh.

[robbo]

yeah
and if you have to stay overnight they pay for accomodation, meals etc

[DonaMaria]

Just three hours of jury duty?  Gee...you're lucky.  I always seem to end up spending days there being questioned about my life like some petty criminal and herded through hallways and courtrooms with other potential jurors just like cattle......

[caddet]

My county has a 1 day/1 trial program.  You report on the day you are called for.  That's your 1 day.  If you don't end up on a jury, you're done for 3 years.  If you do end up on a jury, you serve for the length of that trial.  You can ask to be excused, if you have something important scheduled on the day you were summoned.  When you are excused, you select the day you will return to fulfill the service.  You can't be excused on the return day.

[DonaMaria]

Gee, NY still makes us do one whole week!   There's nothing more boring in the world than sitting in the jury room reading book after book....and the only way to get out of it is to be a total loon.

[Railnut]

Boy, you all have it easy. Where I live, when you're called for jury duty you have to report the first day, then you are on call for three months! They tell you what day to call the courthouse between 1 and 3 to find out if you'll be needed the next day. Try to schedule around that! And being selected to sit on a jury doesn't excuse you for the rest of your time.
I actually wanted to sit on a jury. It is my duty, and the least I can do to keep our system working. But since the case I was first called for was being handled by the Assitant District Attorney, whom I went to high school with, I was not selected. On all my call in days after that the cases were settled ou of court and I didn't have to report.
That is until the last day. Then we sat there in the hall (that's where the prospective jurors wait in my rural county)for the whole morning while the lawyers made all kinds of complicated motions. Then we were given a one hour break for lunch. Then we sat in the hall for another hour. Then we were finally called into the courtroom at about 1:15. That's when the judge explained to us what had been happening all morning. And told us that based on the outcome of the complicated motions, the defendant had decided to enter a plea. So he thanked us and sent us home!

[Eddy]

The way they did it here was a joke.  

The paper said to be there at 9 am. There were still people trickling in at 10:15.  I don't know about anyone else, but when it comes to important things like that, I try to be early.  I think I was there at 8:15 or 8:20.  The building wasn't even open yet.

Anyway, they gave us a brief history of the courthouse and the county which I thought was interesting, then they had us swear/affirm that we wouldn't do a Bill Clinton (lie).  The judge told us about the jury system and how it worked and then asked questions to everyone at once and then afterwards, asked each person more spcialized questions.

Since it was a drug case, they asked if people were criminals and the woman next to me was!    Oddly enough, about a quarter of the people raised their hands.  I was scared!  A crook right next to me!  She could have been an ax murderer or something!    They asked if anyone would have problems following instructions.   They also asked the question that nuked me.  Would you give more credibility to the testimony of a law enforcemnt officer?  I assume they asked more questions afterwards but since I got booted I couldn't tell you.

If you are dismissed like I was, you are exempt for three years.  If you are selected for jury duty but aren't acvtually summoned for the case, you are also exempt for three years.  If you are summoned for the case, you serve for however long the case takes and then you are exempt for three years.

They comb the voting records for victims and they select X number of Republicrats, X number of Demicans, and X number of "others".  Since my county is very, umm, treaditional, X is usually greater than the number of "others" and I get called every dadgumeded three years.  This is the first time I had to serve because every other time I was a non-resident of the county.  Heh heh heh.

[caddet]

In Maryland, where Railnut and I both live, the call to serve is based on drivers license.  And the once every three years is state law.  But that doesn't affect Grand Jury cases, just trial court cases.  I know the county where Railnut lives, and the population there is why they are on call for so long each time.  In my county, the population is so high that there are more than enough prospective jurors for the three year cycle.  That's how we can get away with just showing up one day.

Prospective jurors here just have to sit in a large roomful of chairs until sent to a specific courtroom.  Then, the process is pretty much what Eddy described.  If you aren't eliminated during the general questioning phase, then each remaining prospective juror is asked to stand.  Either of the attorneys can have a certain number of jurors excused, and the process continues until the full jury is seated.  The case I was on called for a jury of six, with two alternates.  We were there just late enough that afternoon to qualify for dinner per-diem (about $6.00).

[DonaMaria]

In NY, they're rather strict on what you can use as an excuse to get out of jury duty with (I guess too many people were saying they were related to cops, etc...)  I saw them pick a cop for a jury the last time I was called in.  I personally don't like all that sitting around - I'm too hyper for that and need to be able to walk here and there quite often - so I try whatever I can to get out of it. Last time I was there, I told the lawyer who was questioning me that I was a psychic and that I knew whether or not his client was guilty without anything being said...that I knew what his client had for breakfast and what he was planning to have for dinner.  (Really - I said all this!  *Holds hand up to swear*) The guy sitting next to me in the jury box asked me if I read palms and I said yes and he held out his hand and I started babbling about this, that and the other thing. Then someone else asked to have their palm read.....The judge banged his gavel...a recess was called...I "read" some more palms in the lobby....then we were all called back in and I was dismissed immediately!  Given a certificate that I was there and sent home!  It was great!  

[DonaMaria]

So I think the whackier you can be, the better your chances are of getting released...

[Eddy]

I was bummed out about being dismissed so early.  I was prepared to start ranting about how the United States isn't a legitimate power and that the British are still our Lords and Masters.  ANd if that wasn't enough, I would have started on my "Nuke em till they glow and shoot em in the dark" theory of foreign relations.

I was saving the big guns till last.  "Your honor, I am a Spice Girl! forever!  Girl power!"

[DonaMaria]

LOL LOL!!!  That would have worked - it's too bad you didn't get to use it!  

[Eddy]

I can only dream of the pandemonium that would have resulted.

[robbo]

i hope my lovely country isn't included in your foreign policy

and you had better respect me more
i am in fact an integral part (i.e. the main part) of your wonderful *cough* *cough* *splutter* presidents anti-missile defence system

[Eddy]

Oh great, here am I messing with Chairman Robbo and he is the guy in charge of the Australian Defense sector.  Great.  

There's probably a 20 megaton warhead aimed at my sorry butt right now with my name on it.  

[robbo]

well no

not yet anyway

[Revolucionario]

Time to form the underground.

[jerri]

indeed... I'll get the shovels...... say whats that in the sky? looks like ..... RUN RUN RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

[Eddy]

I wonder why they say Asutralia is down under?  What is it under?  My jack-booted heel?

[Peron]

 I think it is a matter of perspective.  

 Most Australians seem to think that it is the rest of the world that is upside down.

 

[robbo]

i don't think the world is upside down

[Peron]

See?

hehehe

[Eddy]

But if the world is round, you'd be falling off!  

Either the world is flat (my choice) or there really is no Australia.

I have to lie down now.