Tropico Pageant - Competition # 1

[CafeDave]

Attention contestants!  Your entries have all been registered and may be viewed by all at the Cafe Tropico Pageant page.  Since there are only 14 entries (15 counting Beary Man de Loh twice) I have decided to dispense with the initial vote to reduce the contestants down to 5 each and go straight to the main competition.  

Contest number one is the Tropico National Costume competition.  Contestants must present their interpretation of the national or native costume for the Republica de Tropico.  Your entries may be in the form of photos, written description or both, or anything else you dream up.  Submit your entries to this thread or else send to me by email.  They will be added to your contestant's profile for all to see.  Entries should be in by midnight Thursday, August 9 when the first vote will begin.  Votes will be tallied for each of the competitions in the pageant and the contestant with the highest overall votes wins!  

Next competitions will most likely be a talent contest and a swimsuit competition and there may or may not be more, so get your entries ready but do not submit them until they are announced.   Have fun!

[DonaMaria]

Ximenez de Cisneros walks down the model's runway wearing his own design of the Tropico National Costume....

I'd like to draw your attention to the baggy red silk robe (representing the cardinals)  belted with rope from the dock (obviously for the dock workers).  The large black hat with the pineapple (representing the priests and the farmers) hanging down on the right side accents his smile wonderfully!  

He spins and lifts his robe (as the crowd gasps) to reveal the finest black leather boots (that any rebel would love) and the latest in camouflage boxer shorts that are certain to be on every soldier and general's holiday list!

And who would want to be without the wonderful fishhead purse he carries!  

***Ximenez leaves the runway while "Fishheads Fishheads, rolley polley fishheads" plays in the background***

[Coffeebean]

He
re is Gilbert Willis in his interpretation of the National Costume of the Republica de Tropico. The pineapple hat and banana necklace represent some of the bountiful produce that Gilbert is proud to transport. His heavy footwear is due to the respect he has for our indigenous population of tarantulas and his palm leaf skirt is for the delight of the female tourists that we welcome to our beautiful island.

[DonaMaria]

Ummmmm.... Bert...

Carmen Miranda wants to know when she can have her hat back......

[Coffeebean]

LOL LOL LOL - look stop making me laugh - I'm at work - people will think I'm not working!
Actually it's not Carmen Miranda's hat, it's not even a real hat. Bert just "borrowed" a pineapple from a delivery he was making, cut it in half, scooped the flesh out and stuck it on his head. I hope this round doesn't go on too long, 'cause that pineapple ain't goin' to stay fresh forever.
Is no-one eles entering the National Costume round? I'm dying to see or read about what some of the others will be wearing

[DonaMaria]

I hear Homer Simpson is lusting after that hat also......

And you know....Bert kinda reminds me of Mr. T......

[Diego_de_la_Vega]

ROFLOL....Mr T....LOLOL....I pity the fool that wears my pineapple!!!

[Coffeebean]

I hear Homer Simpson is lusting after that hat also......

  I don't understand?

[Coffeebean]

....I pity the fool that wears my pineapple!!!

???I don't understand that either?
and while we're here what does ROF mean in ROFLOL.

[bhar]

ROFL means "rolls on floor laughing."  So, ROFLOL means "rolls on floor laughing out loud."  As for the rest, I don't know.  I don't usually keep up with this board.

[DonaMaria]

And Homer Simpson's usually drooling over food.....Mr. T. is a reference to a sitcom from the 80's "The A-Team"....

[Coffeebean]

Ohhhh yes as in "mmmmmmmmm pineapple" Mr T I know but .......sitcom?!

[Eddy]

Bertha, a tourist, albeit a lovely one, has taken to the Tropican lifestyle on her special "Fare-Saver Discount Harlem Tour Package".  On her extensive travels through the island and its many sights, she has visited much and more importantly bought much and is supporting the tourist economy of Tropico.

I would have included a picture, but all of the photographers seemed reluctant to take the assignment of showing Bertha's beauty.  Is it any wonder though considering my devotion?  They were terrified of angering me, so instead, I must give a written description which simply cannot do her justice.

On her splendorous feet, she is wearing a pair of handmade leather espadrilles so she may delicately prance amongst the people of Tropico in style, which were purchased at the souvenir shop.  

Of course now that we are looking at her lovely lovely legs, it is only natural that our eyes are drawn upwards to her genuine Tropican bikini in raspberry red.  Unlike Pamela or the other women, Bertha sure can fill it!    

To prevent the men of Tropico from being blinded by her radiance, is a serape (kinda like a cape for you gringos).  This serape has many colors, but the highlight is that it was handmade by the good people of Tropico and sold right here in the upperclass tourist shop for only 39 pesos.  If you look closely (and who wouldn't want to look at Bertha!), you'll see miniature Tropican flags sewn cunningly to make a design.  Don't forget the handwritten "Made in Tropico" on the pamphlet!

During her trip to the mysterious Pyramid of the Ancients, she bought a handmade pure gold bangle bracelet to accent her already wondrous body and catch the eye of all those single guys out there!  

She also purchased a simply divine necklace made of coffee beans from one of the local farmers to help him through his unemployment.  Don't worry Juan Valdez.  The 8 pesos she paid is more than you earned in two months working.

Also, the gorgeous spiderweb earrings were purchased from a gringo who calls himself Brian the Tarantula (although it probably isn't his real name).  Notice the intricate silver tracery for the webs and the onyx spider with ruby eyes in the middle.  

To cap it off so to speak, Bertha is wearing a delightful sombrero just she saw on the head of a farmer and she just had to buy one.

Yes, Bertha Leibowitz is a stunning vision of beauty on the already beautiful island of Tropico.

[Maus]

Welcome back, Tropicans, to the continuing pageant coverage.  Here again are hosts Dexter and Anton, bringing you the next contestant.

Dexter:  Next up is local talent Brandee Wowzapalooza.  Her intro card says that her costume and presentation are "representative of the Tropican lifestyle".

Anton:  Ahh, here she comes now, walking to the front of the stage...

Dexter:  Now THAT'S a fully packed input queue!  The top is cut lower than expectations of democracy, leaving her… um... luxury housing... perched as precariously as El Presidente's approval ratings, while the bottom is cut higher than the police presence.  Definitely a yachts-only dock!

Anton:  She certainly doesn't need an airport to attract trade delegations to THAT ministry!

Dexter: In between top and bottom is, well, hmmm, it's a farmers dreamland; a rich undulating stretch of sun-drenched fertility, beckoning and whispering "plow and sow to your heart's content".

Anton:  I expect you'd get maximum yield, whatever your taste in crops.  I doubt she even HAS an "easy does it" option!

Dexter:  She's making her turn now, and from the back we see... oh... my... god... a fully-integrated infrastructure, combining peak industrial efficiency with the most lavish tourist attractions, all fully staffed with MegaWatts to spare.  

Anton:  Ow! Bet there's never a student shortage at THAT college!

Dexter:  She's leaving the stage now, and I think it's time to pause for a short break. I need to be alone for a minute, to umm... reflect on my Tropicanity.

Anton:  Right you are!  It looks like every man in the audience, and more than a few women, want to tune their radio to "All Brandee, All Night"!

[Maus]

Once again, emcees Dexter and Anton bring you coverage of the Men's Costume portion of the pageant.

Dexter:  Up next is palace guard Raul Nunez.  He needs no introduction, however, his intro card says "I have important edicts to discuss with El Presidente, so pay attention!"  

Anton:  Such a busy man, yet always willing to share a laugh with the common folk.

Dexter:  Here he is... now that's a unique costume!  A floor-length robe that appears to be made entirely of pesos and documents of some sort.

Anton:  Let me get my opera glasses. Ah! Those are edicts!  There's a Tax Relief and a Food edict and an Amnesty edict....

Dexter:  He's at the front of the stage now, making eye contact with the pageant judges and smiling at each one.  Now he's making his turn... the back of his costume is no different...

Anton:  No wait.  The Edicts on the backside are all for Arrest and Elimination.  Hahaha, such a joker, I see the names of the judges on each one, but luckily each edict lacks the official Presidential seal.

Dexter:  Now he's leaving the stage... no wait, he's paused to salute the judges with a raised fist... ah, he's showing off his jewelry...

Anton:  Yes, what a fine collection of rings... gold, sapphire, and one that looks amazingly like El Presidente's signet ring.

Dexter:  Well, he just winked at the judges and walked away.  Very enigmatic.  Does his performance say that the way of Tropico is the way of the peso and our beloved Presidente's officially-stamped edicts?

Anton:  Hard to say, but he sure caught the judges' attention.  Just look at them talking excitedly with each other.  I bet Raul will be on their minds tonight!

[Coffeebean]

"but he sure caught the judges' attention.  Just look at them talking excitedly with each other.  I bet Raul will be on their minds tonight!"

SICLOL

[Mr.P]

Beary slips out of his tired barmaid's dress and beckons his entourage.

"Now, something with pearls, a long flowing dress perhaps, but plenty of make-up that's a must!"

Slipping into his figure-hugging attire Beary recognises that surgery of the 1950's was not as advanced and that certain 'strapping' would be needed.

"Oh, if only the fine doctors of America could have made me all woman, I'd be one happy Tropican. But I won't let that spoil our grand pageant, those with an eye for beauty will know me for what I am!"

"Make-up, more make up! Ah yes, maybe I can dazzle them with my platinum discs, they're sure to remember the music that so enchanted the world.
Now, let me see. Hmmmm, yes....Copacabanana, the boys at the pub always sway, misty-eyed, to that."

Ahhh, Beary looks stunning in the contoured pearl dress, the seductive manner of the well-practised walk holding the crowd in awe.

Truly a beauty to behold!

[Revolucionario]

*Over the speakers of the auditorium where the pageant is being held*
*lights dim*
"And now ladies and gentlemen, give applause to our Tropican contestant.....Rob Carroll!"
*music cues up Los Parranderos (From the Tropico soundtrack)*
* Rob walks confidently down the runway pausing for the people to marval at his magnifacant physique, as the lights become brighter and brighter.*

"From head to toe, Rob is the quintessential Rebel, whether  its raiding the evil El Presidente's palace or on the town with the beautiful Tropican senoritas . Rob has it all.

Rob is wearing the Tropican cologne "El Guapo" which makes all the women swoon with abandon and yearning. You too can smell like a sexy Rebel and purchase some "El Guapo" at your local Marketplace.

From the top Rob is wearing a red berret with a little Tropican Eagle pin that covers his blondish brown hair. The berret is made from cotton and dyed from the mountain berries of the Tropican countryside.

Next Rob is wearing the classic white "wife beater" A- Top that fits tight over Rob's defined muscular tan upper body. The shirt comes directly from the Tropican company called El Haneo which as a small outlet in the Marketplace.

Rob's pants are BDU (Battle Dress Uniform) camouflage which he procured from an evil El Presidente before he was put on the boat by Rob himself. The pants are slightly baggy to give some when runnig into the jungle. The BDUs are bloused at the top of the boot.

Rob's boots are mid shin  jump boots made by El Corcoran from grade A scotch leather shined to a glossy finish. He received these from an US Gunboat crew in recognition of the hard work Rob does to keep Tropico dictator free.

This concludes Rob's electric presentation."

*Rob bows and waves and smiles to the audience as he makes his way backstage*

[CafeDave]

Thanks for all your entries everyone!  Voting starts now for the National Costume competition.  Follow this link to go directly to the voting booth or go to the Tropico Pageant page and follow the links to competition #1 to read the entries there.

And get set for the next competition, starting now.  See separate thread for Competition #2.

[Chris]

Am I too late?! Anyway, here goes:

Cristobal walks down the thingy in his smashing white suit, wearing his big metal thing-a-ma-bob on sideways he shows that even old guys can be hip.

He begins taking large amounts of money and throwing them at the crowd saying "Vote for me"!

Isn't that just heartwarming?

[CafeDave]

And the winner is...Bertha with 55% of the votes and Gilbert with 53% of the votes.  Congratulations on the first round of the pageant everyone!  Now get voting for round 2.

Vote results can be seen here.

[Revolucionario]

Where is the link to vote for the comp # 2?

[Eddy]

Woohoo!!!!!!!

I just knew those bribes incentives would pay off!

[Coffeebean]

OK Eddy - I mean Mr Deity Sir - tell me about these bribes incentives that you speak of. I have much to learn and would be suitably gateful (mmm vote Bertha or Brandee?) for any direction in these matters

[Eddy]

Why a FREE paddling of course!  It seems that the people enjoy them so much that they pretend to be rebels just to get one.