Coffeebean
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Deus Ex Machina
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Her Excellent Fizziness, Deity Coffeebean!:)
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« Reply #25 on: 08/28/02 at 02:30 PM » |
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ROFPIMP -  Oh great now I have to mop out my keyboard again - I forgot the Maus rule about drinking and reading posts at the same time!  - mind you Eddy's responsible for at least a third of this mess!  [size=0]Marlow - link isn't working for me.  [/size] |
-Skepticism is the order of the day. It is the only way to be unsure. -Indulge the puppies and kittens of your soul! (Eddy) -You are not a god. You are a human. That means having to cooporate with other humans. (Mr Cb) |
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Eddy
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« Reply #26 on: 08/28/02 at 02:43 PM » |
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Reaching Niagara Falls, Eddy looks at the water and whimpers slightly.
Time passes...
Stepping out from behind a tree and zipping up his pants, Eddy sees a large group of horrified Can*dians, many of whom are weeping openly.
Eddy: "Yeah, take that you overly clean and polite nation. Give me a few Mooseheads and there'll be plenty more where that came from!!! TO QUEBEC, AND MONTREAL!!!"
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El Presidente Para La Vida de la Isla Magnifica de Eddy
The only bad post is the one not posted. - El_malo
Mess with the best, get paddled like the rest. - Junta Joe
May the redness of your bottom be an example to all who dare to challenge Eddy... - Mr. P
A day without paddling is like a day without the sun. - AriesQTPie
I will BE posting! - BatchMan
The Official Rebel Paddling Ceremony. Now with paddles!
Eddy is the lifestyle revolution of the 21st century!
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Dark Shinji
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« Reply #27 on: 08/28/02 at 03:32 PM » |
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Eddy. Half of Niagara Falls is on the United States side of the border. I think a few government officials want to see you.
*Looks over to see dozens of CIA, FBI, and Secret Service agents heading towards Eddy. Even President George W. Bush has a stern look on his face as he approaches Eddy.*
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"One kills because another is killed! Then gets killed because he kills! How the hell is that going to bring us peace?" - Cagalli Yula Athha - Gundam Seed
The Despot, His Matchless Primacy, Prince Dark Shinji. The Frequent Head Honcho of Cleveland.
"We declare peace, but with weapons in our hands. The choice we're making may also be evil." - Lacus Clyne - Gundam Seed
Face it bubba, you're gonna get paddled! - Eddyatwork
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Dark Shinji
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« Reply #28 on: 08/28/02 at 03:36 PM » |
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*Now that Canada's military is completely shot to Hades, the United States army marches in and takes over. Now the US has a few more states to add to the Union. And Canada was even nice enough to give an unconditional surrender.* I just had to put that in. I had to.  |
"One kills because another is killed! Then gets killed because he kills! How the hell is that going to bring us peace?" - Cagalli Yula Athha - Gundam Seed
The Despot, His Matchless Primacy, Prince Dark Shinji. The Frequent Head Honcho of Cleveland.
"We declare peace, but with weapons in our hands. The choice we're making may also be evil." - Lacus Clyne - Gundam Seed
Face it bubba, you're gonna get paddled! - Eddyatwork
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Mike
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« Reply #29 on: 08/28/02 at 03:41 PM » |
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*Timmy drops novelty-sized Boot of Insight on the conveniently-gathered politicians*
That'll teach 'em to leech money from our schools!
Now, I must follow through with my plan to take over Canada. I think I'll call it Timmytopia.
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Wash uffitze and drive me to firenze
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Chairman Robbo
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« Reply #30 on: 08/28/02 at 03:49 PM » |
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(how many different stories are going on here?)
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CafeTropico Partner  |
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Dark Shinji
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« Reply #31 on: 08/28/02 at 03:49 PM » |
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Now, I must follow through with my plan to take over Canada. I think I'll call it Timmytopia.
Too late. The United States has it all now. |
"One kills because another is killed! Then gets killed because he kills! How the hell is that going to bring us peace?" - Cagalli Yula Athha - Gundam Seed
The Despot, His Matchless Primacy, Prince Dark Shinji. The Frequent Head Honcho of Cleveland.
"We declare peace, but with weapons in our hands. The choice we're making may also be evil." - Lacus Clyne - Gundam Seed
Face it bubba, you're gonna get paddled! - Eddyatwork
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Dark Shinji
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« Reply #32 on: 08/28/02 at 03:52 PM » |
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(how many different stories are going on here?)
Several. This thread is way off topic. |
"One kills because another is killed! Then gets killed because he kills! How the hell is that going to bring us peace?" - Cagalli Yula Athha - Gundam Seed
The Despot, His Matchless Primacy, Prince Dark Shinji. The Frequent Head Honcho of Cleveland.
"We declare peace, but with weapons in our hands. The choice we're making may also be evil." - Lacus Clyne - Gundam Seed
Face it bubba, you're gonna get paddled! - Eddyatwork
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Dark Shinji
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« Reply #33 on: 08/28/02 at 03:57 PM » |
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*Lands on Aruba's shores and runs up to Joe. He snaps off a crisp salute and stands at attention.*
ME: "Corporal Gundam reporting for duty General Junta Joe."
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"One kills because another is killed! Then gets killed because he kills! How the hell is that going to bring us peace?" - Cagalli Yula Athha - Gundam Seed
The Despot, His Matchless Primacy, Prince Dark Shinji. The Frequent Head Honcho of Cleveland.
"We declare peace, but with weapons in our hands. The choice we're making may also be evil." - Lacus Clyne - Gundam Seed
Face it bubba, you're gonna get paddled! - Eddyatwork
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Gigo
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« Reply #34 on: 08/28/02 at 07:28 PM » |
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How can the US army possibly invade Canada with Poutine standing in their way? Not even I can stand that stuff... |
Metta.
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Dark Shinji
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« Reply #35 on: 08/28/02 at 07:46 PM » |
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What is poutine anyways?
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"One kills because another is killed! Then gets killed because he kills! How the hell is that going to bring us peace?" - Cagalli Yula Athha - Gundam Seed
The Despot, His Matchless Primacy, Prince Dark Shinji. The Frequent Head Honcho of Cleveland.
"We declare peace, but with weapons in our hands. The choice we're making may also be evil." - Lacus Clyne - Gundam Seed
Face it bubba, you're gonna get paddled! - Eddyatwork
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Gigo
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« Reply #36 on: 08/28/02 at 07:49 PM » |
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Poutine is a Quebec delicacy... but I don't know if your ready to hear about the horrid things that the French-Canadians eat. I will not be held responsible for any harm that it may cause to you.
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Metta.
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Marlow
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« Reply #37 on: 08/28/02 at 09:35 PM » |
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Won't work for me either... Here, I've zipped my version into 3 zip files, because 1 would be well over 500k
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THAT BILLY GOAT HAS A PUFFY BEARD!!!!!!!!
We will kill them all........most of them - Baghdad Bob
Life seems short considering how long you will be dead - Wooly
The sword of ancient times is now for kitchen use - Japanese proverb
Kevorkian for Surgeon General
BANGIN' UP HIGH THE HANDLE HOMEY BEEF - White Men Can't Jump- the video game
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Marlow
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« Reply #38 on: 08/28/02 at 09:36 PM » |
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Puts it all in 1 folder
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THAT BILLY GOAT HAS A PUFFY BEARD!!!!!!!!
We will kill them all........most of them - Baghdad Bob
Life seems short considering how long you will be dead - Wooly
The sword of ancient times is now for kitchen use - Japanese proverb
Kevorkian for Surgeon General
BANGIN' UP HIGH THE HANDLE HOMEY BEEF - White Men Can't Jump- the video game
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Marlow
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« Reply #39 on: 08/28/02 at 09:37 PM » |
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Call this folder cows
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THAT BILLY GOAT HAS A PUFFY BEARD!!!!!!!!
We will kill them all........most of them - Baghdad Bob
Life seems short considering how long you will be dead - Wooly
The sword of ancient times is now for kitchen use - Japanese proverb
Kevorkian for Surgeon General
BANGIN' UP HIGH THE HANDLE HOMEY BEEF - White Men Can't Jump- the video game
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estio
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« Reply #40 on: 08/28/02 at 10:06 PM » |
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Meanwhile, back in Azalia, the USS COWnstellation cruises in for a visit...
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Militarily lazy yet still commanding the security forces of Castle Doom. Who's manning the ramparts? Goddess Coffeebean's Minister of Explaining Strange Stuff. It is my destiny to always be a MESS. Beware of the common good. Robin Hood must die. Shoes will untie. I want a Joe. Visit estioland |
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Junta_Joe
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« Reply #41 on: 08/28/02 at 10:17 PM » |
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*Lands on Aruba's shores and runs up to Joe. He snaps off a crisp salute and stands at attention.*
ME: "Corporal Gundam reporting for duty General Junta Joe."
Uhmmm.....lessee here.......uh.......Ice! Yes! We need crushed ice! For......cooling the weapons. Yeah, that's it! And limes too. For.....warding off scurvy! And some zinc oxide for my nose too.  Tomorrow we march on the Capital!  |
The Cafe's Lord High Executioner: Your Prayers Will Not Save You!
Lord of Castle Doom: Ad Astra Per Crania
Millenium p0000st tally = 8!
Official Cafe Shaman~~Holder of the Necronomicon~~Keeper of the Cafe Secrets~~Chanter to the Masses
Character is what you are in the dark
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Marlow
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« Reply #42 on: 08/28/02 at 10:56 PM » |
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Aww! Whats worng with liquid nitrogen for those machine guns that just keep overheating? (Flys Joe in some Liquid Nitrogen Tanks). Oh... I get it now!  Hmm... You'd better not have alchohol around the time of war... Here's da coconut for puttin da lime in. |
THAT BILLY GOAT HAS A PUFFY BEARD!!!!!!!!
We will kill them all........most of them - Baghdad Bob
Life seems short considering how long you will be dead - Wooly
The sword of ancient times is now for kitchen use - Japanese proverb
Kevorkian for Surgeon General
BANGIN' UP HIGH THE HANDLE HOMEY BEEF - White Men Can't Jump- the video game
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Junta_Joe
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« Reply #43 on: 08/28/02 at 11:15 PM » |
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I loved that song. |
The Cafe's Lord High Executioner: Your Prayers Will Not Save You!
Lord of Castle Doom: Ad Astra Per Crania
Millenium p0000st tally = 8!
Official Cafe Shaman~~Holder of the Necronomicon~~Keeper of the Cafe Secrets~~Chanter to the Masses
Character is what you are in the dark
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Chris
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« Reply #44 on: 08/28/02 at 11:17 PM » |
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0500, Sydney, Azalia
*Chris' Secret Headquarters*
"Sir! SIR!" Yelled the young Sub-Cowmander, "I have horrible news!"
"What? What's happened?"
"Dozens of buildings in Sydney have been destroyed. Apparently, the Azalians planned for something like this, and had explosives throughout the city! Casualties are in the hundreds!"
"MOOO!!" I said, as I crashed my hoof threw the desk in front of me. "Make sure that we reinforce our current postions against further assault. And how do the attempts to root out resistance within the city go?"
"Good sir. Very good. Except..."
"Except what? Are there more surprises in store for me today?"
"There is a rather large group of resisitors at Concorde sir. We've been unable to root them out so far... and it appears the Azalians are sending reinforcements. An entire armoured brigade, in fact."
"Hinder the rescuers all you can, young Bessy. And insure that if those that are trapped are rescued, they earned it. If they ARE reached do NOT hinder their escape. War may be hell, but we do not have to be demons."
"Yes sir!".
*As the first Sub-cowmander walked out, another walked in*
"You called, your Supremeness?"
"Yes, yes I did. It is time to launch the second phase of the attack."
"Understood sir."
*0507 Just off the coast of Brisbane, Prep Room of the Carrier Bovine Pride*
"We've recieved the go ahead. Our mission is clear. We are the first true strike wave against the Azalian. We are to go in, and destroy ALL resistance. We are to press the Azalian so hard they labor to breathe the very air of their homeland. This day shall be a day to remember for all eternity. In 50 years it will asked whether or not this was all folly. In 50 years, we will be praised, or our names will be cursed. Insure the latter does not happen. Plaid Speed to you all."
*Minutes later the planes roared off the carrier deck. This scene was repeated all over the coasts of the continent, in Geraldton, Port Hedland, Darwin, Marybourogh, Rockhampton, Caims, Townsville, Macay, Gold Coast, Grafton, to name a few.
They had started the greatest air battle this planet had ever seen, bravely going to fight their sworn enemy, the entire time wondering if they would were to ever see the dawn of the sun again...*
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Brian is master. He was right. As was always.
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*Director of Co-ordinated Searches for Sea Snakes*
*Commander in Chief of Internal Supply of Staples*
*Head Organizer of Mindless Ramblings*
*Director of All That is Irrelevant*
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Creator of What!?!, The Never Ending Thread
I will generally be kind, but once in a while, in the still of the night, the wolves will be allowed to howl. -Eddy
Character is who you are online! - Skeebercat(2)
Pea Lovers Forever!
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Junta_Joe
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« Reply #45 on: 08/28/02 at 11:56 PM » |
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Plaid speed? |
The Cafe's Lord High Executioner: Your Prayers Will Not Save You!
Lord of Castle Doom: Ad Astra Per Crania
Millenium p0000st tally = 8!
Official Cafe Shaman~~Holder of the Necronomicon~~Keeper of the Cafe Secrets~~Chanter to the Masses
Character is what you are in the dark
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Eddy
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« Reply #46 on: 08/29/02 at 01:26 AM » |
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AHEM!
Eddy sneezes and George Bush forgets all about my transgressions and invades Iraq.
Anyway...
Eddy charges towards Quebec fortified with Can*dian beer raided from a bar. Randomly firing his BB gun in the air, he reaches the border of Montreal. Strangely, there are no crowds of Quebecers waiting to surrender in proud Fr*nch tradition. There is but a lone school cafeteria lady holding a bowl of some strange food.
Eddy: You! What is that!
Lady: Eeet eees poutine you feelthy American peeg dog!
Eddy: Yeah, well what is poutine you horrid Fr*nch wannabe?
Lady: It is frrrrench fries topped with gravy and cheese curds. It is a true delicacy and I am zee not surprised a barbarian like you has never 'eard of eet!
Eddy looks pale...
Lady: Try some you English dog!
Eddy's courage is slipping...
Lady: The cheese curds are good and crunchy!
Eddy loses all courage, does a French Army maneuver (turn around, drop gun, and run) and retreats back to the States where French Fries have ketchup and mayo on them like God intended!
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El Presidente Para La Vida de la Isla Magnifica de Eddy
The only bad post is the one not posted. - El_malo
Mess with the best, get paddled like the rest. - Junta Joe
May the redness of your bottom be an example to all who dare to challenge Eddy... - Mr. P
A day without paddling is like a day without the sun. - AriesQTPie
I will BE posting! - BatchMan
The Official Rebel Paddling Ceremony. Now with paddles!
Eddy is the lifestyle revolution of the 21st century!
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Gigo
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« Reply #47 on: 08/29/02 at 11:46 AM » |
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Eddy has stumbled upon the awful truth. I warned you Eddy! You should always take a Canadian at his word. I just hope that the truth won't give you permanent brain damage... |
Metta.
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Chris
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« Reply #48 on: 08/29/02 at 12:02 PM » |
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Plaid speed? Eh, what can I say? SPaceballs was on last night. |
Brian is master. He was right. As was always.
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*Director of Co-ordinated Searches for Sea Snakes*
*Commander in Chief of Internal Supply of Staples*
*Head Organizer of Mindless Ramblings*
*Director of All That is Irrelevant*
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Creator of What!?!, The Never Ending Thread
I will generally be kind, but once in a while, in the still of the night, the wolves will be allowed to howl. -Eddy
Character is who you are online! - Skeebercat(2)
Pea Lovers Forever!
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Junta_Joe
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« Reply #49 on: 08/29/02 at 01:08 PM » |
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The intrepid Joe gathers his troops around for a last conference.
He looks into their eyes to see their commitment.
The hotel maids have that firey look of people passed over for raises too many times. They will make up the shock troops.
The local fishermen grin with evil glee in anticipation of recovering their lost fishing grounds from the cruise ships. I will use them as sabotage troops.
The drunken balding tourists in their Hawaiian shirts have that bland look of stupor that comes from lack entertainment facilities. I will send them to various pubs to trash as to distract the local police.
And my trusty corporals Marlow and Gundam shall be kept close to jump on any grenades that come my way.
Sending out my fishermen and tourists, I settle down and wait at the hotel bar for chaos to ensue. After a Mai Tai or four, I hear the first fires begin to burn in the town center. I gather up my corporals and maids and head into the town square.
Lock and load, troops!
We crash the doors at Town Hall and rush past the sexetary who's whining something about needing an appointment. One of the maids peels off to deal with this outrage.
We enter the office with guns at the ready and see the police chief napping at his desk. Kicking his desk, I send his Screwdriver spilling into his lap.
"Hey! I just had this drycleaned!"
"Shut up! Where's the govenor? Make it snappy or my maids will tear you apart!"
A look of true fear crosses his face when seeing the maids, knowing he had pinched one too many of them over the years.
"But...but, El Presidente is in Switzerland. And not due back for days!"
"Excellent! I shall take over immediately. Girls, toss this loser in a rowboat. Marlow and Gundam, go get me a new sexetary and send in the bankers."
And so ends the saga of the bloodless revolution that made Joe the El Presidente of Aruba.
Put da lime in da coconut an drink it all up. Put da lime in de coconut an drink it all up. Doctor! I've got such bellyache. I said Doctor! I've such a bellyache. Put da lime in da coconut an call me in da mornin.....
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The Cafe's Lord High Executioner: Your Prayers Will Not Save You!
Lord of Castle Doom: Ad Astra Per Crania
Millenium p0000st tally = 8!
Official Cafe Shaman~~Holder of the Necronomicon~~Keeper of the Cafe Secrets~~Chanter to the Masses
Character is what you are in the dark
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