Pinstar
General
 Offline
Gender: 
Posts: 268
Your friendly raccoon comander of the banana army.
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« on: 04/03/04 at 09:33 PM » |
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Dictator:
Farmer
Communist rebellion
Hardworking
Green Thumb
Coward
Cheapskate
Island
Hard political and economic difficulty
Random events: rare
No special circumstances.
Overall difficulty: 140%
Scoreing: A place in history
Ahh first day on the island, the island smells good, it smells of nature, of people of...money. I may stand for a hardworking communist lifestyle but secretly I want every peso and Yanqui greenback I can get my hands on.
Year 1: I must speak with the land... for it tells me what fruit it feels like bearing. Mmmm and it seems quite eager to bare me moyi tobacco. So be it, 7 new tobacco farms on all the prime spots, an extra construction office to build them all, and ehh, 2 more corn farms. All those farmers will get quite hungry makeing me money.
Year 2: I build little bird houses in my spare time...to show people what working hard looks like. Inspired they thow up half the new farms quickly and easily, I raise basic salaries to 6 pesos to attract more immigrants.
Year 3: First loads of tobacco head off the docks. My people will get upset and I will lose money if they drop in the fields... construction begins on a new clinic.
Year 4: Moeny is rolling in, Add a church and 2nd teamster's office
Year5: My teamsters, they tire from going up and down that mountain, A road is built from top of the mountain to dock.
Year6: A pub is added. I am sad I cannot provide my people with some home grown rum...this land seems allergic to sugar, no matter. Tobacco in the ground looks like Yanqui greenbacks anyway...and boy is it making me tons. I'm going to need more workers in the future for more farms. Ladies get your wombs ready! <enacts the contraception ban>
Year7: The people call for an election, very well, the polls show me and my rival dead even...ahh but a swift mardi gras should make them drunk with happiness
Year8: Sheet! tomorrow is the results day, and it turns out people are just haveing their hangovers...and thus are very unhappy. I know! the plants like me! Ricardo, go stuff some tobacco leaves in the ballot box, those will count for me! Ahh look! I winn I winnn
Year9: I winnn I winn I....ohhh no, thats not good... big American gunboat knocking on my door. Ummm <quickly dons a mickey mouse hat and begins waveing an american flag> Ohh look Yes I love america! yay america, yay mickey mouse! I love American cartoon, ohh that goofie he so funny.... <the dockworkers stare at him oddly> dadgumed...they aren't going away.
Year 10: Why didn't I think of this earlier: Ally with russia? I could have saved alot of dignity....oooh just wonderful yeah just put it right next to my colonial fort. I WAS going to have a few yanqui tourists, but now forget it. Who cares, I don't need those fat slobs on this island anyway. They'll just eat all our food and clog our toilets.
Year 11: Thats not a good sign when I begin loseing face with the communists...yes perhaps its time to house all my peoples. Yes yes and a high school, quite an annoying bunch of intellectuals.
Year 15: all done...but still not happy? oh blast it nobody is working at the church! I have a high school and teachers, go learn dadgumed you!
Year 16: election time again? Presedente thinks not, not when you ask for it in THAT tone of voice (Initial polls showed 131 against, 74 for).
Year 17: Hmmm not good, profits are down and there is no more good tobacco land left unplanted....maybe those capitalists have a point. <orders the construction of 3 new cigar factories>
Year 19: not good, the world bank is capping my salaries.....hah hah like I even pay anyone more than 20, not THIS presidente!
Year 20: Holy friholes'! Moui pesos! Cigars are good! Yes my people! fill that highschool, go to my factories.
Year 21: "I want a collage" whine the intellectuals. "I want a catherdal" whine the religious folk "I want guns" whine the militarists and finally "I want an election" whine everybody else. FINE You get a college, you get a cathedral, you get an armory, but NO elections untill you all learn how to grow up! (Initial polls 243 against, 145 for)
Year 24: Armory and college complete... general enters service....and leads a coup against me...crushed by my palace guards.
Year 25: new general, leads a 1 man coup against me and is crushed
Year 26: new general, leads a 1 man coup against me and is crushed
Year 27: The leader of the militarists complains that we need at least one general to lead the military. Odd that he is one of my palace guards... I think he just wants more target practice... I need a better way to make my generals happy. <lays plans for army base, Xes out slots in armory>
Year28: what the heck, lets get some power going, I need a hospital anyway. My treasury can handle it (300,000 strong and riseing). Besides with a TV station I can charge even MORE for my cigars.
Year30: nobody wants to work in the new cathedral...ugh I hate hireing outside workers with a college right there! Those parocial classes are doing nothing!
Year 31: no wonder, all my intellectuals were leaveing, they do not see my wisdom...very well well, post a guard at each dock: Nobody gets out of here alive.
Year 32: Ahh there we go, workers! A few protestors but workers! thats what I like to see. Ahh now that the chuch likes me more...lets flush those eggheads out and burn their books.
Year 33: more farms, more tobacco, and more corn, I need to employ all these bums growing up on my island.
Year 34: FINALLY someone is working at my military base...lets see who my first real soldier will be... <4 months later a 64 year old man and his 67 year old wife arrive at the base> Great! the unstopable tropican army... be careful or he'll thow his teeth at you!
Year 35: Another election...nope presidente does not feel so good today...maybe next time (Inital polls 324 against, 290 for)
Year 40: Finally the powerplant is being staffed, time for a hospital and TV...so much to build, so little power...oy such retards for engineers (3 of the 4 women at the plant have "very poor" for intelligence). I have much food on the island...maybe I can afford to feed my people more! <enacts food for the people>
Year 41: ay carmaba! They are eating like the Yanquis, we are almost out of food...worse the toilets are all being clogged... this cannot be! <repeals the food for people act before any real damage is done>
Year 45: 5 years left, I must do something they'll really remember me for...ahhh yes! A stadium! Right next to the army base! they will truely love me
Year 46: stadium built in a hurry, hospital staffed, people ask for an election...and they are happy! Very well, I say yes to an election (initial polls: 145 against, 456 for)
Year 47: I win fair and square, liberty is through the roof, even the eggheads have stopped complaining....so I will stop burning their books. I build a second cathedral.
Year 49: Everybody will love me, hold the pan-caribian games...invite the pope over to watch them. Hold mardi gras and to top it all off, share my wealth with my people, with a big fat tax cut, the treasury can easily handle it.
End
Score: 2737
Ahh yes, the sweet smell of cigars...I'll never get it out of my coat...the whole island smells of it...and that smells good. My swiss bank account is doing well (50325). I should be able to live comfortably off that. Life is good....
<dies the next day of lung cancer>
The end!
What did you guys think?
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