Chapter Fourteen

Susan threw her head back and gasped, digging her fingers into Rogelio's muscular chest as she rocked astride him. She bit her lip to keep from crying out and shuddered in the last throes of passion while his hands caressed her taut, glistening body. Finally, as her ecstasy subsided, she slowly lowered her body and lay her head on his shoulder. Before long the only sounds were their breathing and the light patter of rain on the shack's roof.

Susan kissed him on the cheek and ran her fingers through his thick hair. "This," she sighed, "feels like the only place in the world right now."

He nodded. "Whatever brought you to the overlook tonight, I'm glad it did. I thought you'd got your house and I'd never see you again."

"Well, I'm glad you found me," she agreed. "In more ways than one. You don't know how lost I felt before tonight."

They lay there a while longer in silence, letting the sweat cool and evaporate from their entwined bodies.

"I love the sound of rain on the roof," Rogelio said. "Rain makes everything seem..." He suddenly stopped and looked at her. "Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't worry. I'm not going to fall apart every time it rains, thinking of that night. It happened." She paused, thinking. "And I'm not going to pretend it doesn't hurt. Even though he's been gone for nearly as long as I knew him, it still does. It probably always will. But that doesn't mean I'm never allowed to be happy again."

She caressed his cheek, and turned his head to face hers. "Or to do this again."

They kissed again, tenderly, lingeringly. She closed her eyes and snuggled her head into the crook of his neck.

"You cut your hair," he observed.

"I've been living on the streets," she admitted. "I have to wash up at work. It was getting too hard to take care of it all."

"So sad," he said. "Are you going to keep it that way?"

"I don't know. I'm not thinking that far ahead," she said. "I guess it depends on when I get my house."

"You're still on the list?"

She nodded. "I dropped lower on the list when... Rich passed away. Presidente's housing priority is for families, like Sandrine's. But I'm an engineer, and that helps some too."

They listened to the rain for a while. "It's getting lighter," she observed.

"Mmm-hmm," he assented.

Rogelio reached down and pulled up a sheet to cover them. Susan snuggled against him and sighed contentedly.

"What's going to happen next?" he asked.

"If you don't mind, I plan to fall asleep just like this," she replied. "It's been so long since I've slept in anything resembling a proper bed."

"I meant with us," Rogelio said.

Susan opened her eyes and rolled over onto her back with a sigh. "I don't know," she said.

"Te amo, Susana," he said. "I did this because I love you, and I want to be with you. Always."

"What do you mean, 'always'?"

"What does 'always' mean? I want you to marry me, Susana."

Susan stared up at the ceiling. "To marry again... Honestly, Rogelio, I can't think about that yet. Like I said, I'm not thinking that far ahead. I just can't yet."

"So why...?"

"I did this because... it was what I needed."

"So, I just fulfilled your needs?"

"No, no, Rogelio! It wasn't like that!" she insisted. "What I needed wasn't the act. It was to feel loved again. And you did that. And I do care about you too. I would never have done this if I didn't. You are very, very special to me, and I care about you very deeply."

"But you don't love me."

The silence was deafening.

"I don't know if I can love any more," she breathed.

To Be Continued