Tommy Tallarico
From TNL Wiki
Tommy Tallarico is the founder of The Next Level and inventor of the MIDI Interface.
Created by the Canadian government in the late 1940's, Tommy Tallarico was the first and greatest of Canada's genetically engineered super soldiers. Half wolverine and half pure human pheromone, Tommy Tallarico showed a tremendous aptitude towards one on one combat. However, it was at the Battle of Nova Scotia, during the infamous Canadian/Indian War of the 1960's, when a mortally wounded Tommy Tallarico stumbled upon a secluded cabin in the Canadian wilderness that his true power came to light. The cabin was owned by Ella VonFistsbaugh, a widow and piano teacher who had retired to the wilderness A dying Tommy Tallarico broke through the cabin door and collapsed against a piano. As he fell, his outstretched fingers struck a series of notes that instantly healed his wounds, killed the Indian oppressors, and set the future course of entire free world in motion.
He spend the next several years at Ms. VonFistsbaugh's cabin composing the Earthworm Jim soundtrack. The existence of the soundtrack posed a problem, as video games had not yet been invented. So, in 1975, Tommy Tallarico left his new home in the wilderness and ventured back out into the world. He made a living as a traveling lounge act, and it was during this time, at a smoky bar in Santa Barbara, CA, that a young Nolan Bushnell was moved to tears by a sultry rendition of the "Heck" level theme, which also cured the cancer of three other people in the audience. Bushnell left the show inspired, and went on to invent the NES 3 years later as a vehicle for the magical sounds he had heard that night. For the next 11 and a half years, developers lined up to try and create a game amazing enough to house Tommy Tallarico's Earthworm Jim soundtrack. Each attempt was unsuccessful, and each game was released with a different, and less stunning soundtrack. In 1989, it was finally determined that the regular NES wasn't actually "super" enough to handle Tommy Tallarico's vision, and so the Sega Genesis was invented. Earthworm Jim was finally released in 1994 to unheard of critical and commercial success. It sold 43 million copies worldwide and remains the standard for video games and popular music in general. Sega then went on to produce the Dreamcast, which displeased Tommy Tallarico, so he played a song on his magical MIDI keyboard which condemned Sega to ruin and killed Gunpei Yokoi.
It was at this time that the Canadian government finally caught up to Tommy Tallarico. He hired some queer to do some review show with him and used the show as a front to gain a work visa that allowed him access to Canada. Tommy Tallarico and the queer stormed the Prime Minister's office, killed him with their bare hands, and then left the country in ruin. Tommy Tallarico wrote the Pac Man World Rally soundtrack based off of this experience.
This user is omfgninjas [1]
