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A kitten wandered into my garage. Now I have a kitten.

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A kitten started hanging around my house about a month ago and I felt bad for it, so I started feeding it. Then one night some friends and I were chilling in the garage, listening to some Tears For Fears records, playing Poker and drinking some High Life, and the kitten wandered in and began playing with the straps on my messenger bag. As stoners, we were immediately intrigued by the kitten and watched it play for a good 15 minutes before we had to switch sides on the record. One Electric Light Orchestra LP later and she was curled up in my leather jacket on the floor slowly drifting off to sleep. I moved her food into the garage and closed the doors.

The next day I brought home a litter box and some toys after work, and I made her a bed and a small house out of one of my old dog cages. I left the garage door open, but she never left the garage and has been living in it for the past 2 weeks. At some point soon I'm going to take her inside and introduce her to my dogs.

So I guess I have a kitten now. I didn't really ask for one, and I've always been a dog person, but she just showed up. She seems pretty great, even though she's cross-eyed. I can't give her to a shelter because I'm sure they're inundated with cats and none of my friends want a kitten. She's too small to survive in the wild by herself and my neighborhood is notoriously known for cat rapists (people who will have sex with cats against their will). So I took her to the vet the other day and named her Eva.

My problem is that I don't know anything about kittens, and if she lives a long and healthy life (which I hope she does), I could be taking care of her for the next 18 years. Whoa. That's a lot of responsibility, and I've got plenty of questions.

Why is she always stalking me like prey and pouncing on me? Sometimes all I want to do is grab a beer from the garage fridge, but I feel like I'm being watched, and before I know it she's pounced on my shoe and is clambering up my leg. I'm guessing she just wants some Fat Tire, but I don't know what the drinking age for cats is. I don't want to start her down the wrong path too early, only to see her grow up and end up on the Sunset Strip as some hipster groupie. I hate John Mayer.

When do you teach a kitten about sex? Should I tell her before she hears about it from the other kittens at school?

When she purrs she sounds like my old single cylinder Honda motorcycle, is that normal? Are vet bills for cats high?

Should I let her outside to play or confine her to the house? Should I let her sleep in my room? Sometimes I have night terrors.

I think she coughed up a hairball the other day. Cats do that? Does it ever become not gross? I think it surprised her as much as me.

So yeah, I have a kitten, and I'm starting to learn about cats while simultaneously trying not to become a weird "cat person" who gets t-shirts printed with their cats' face on it.

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  1. Frogacuda's Avatar
    There's a little kitten that's been hanging out around my house, petitioning us to adopt it, too. It tries (sometimes successfully) to run into my house and then cries when I put it back outside. I let him sleep here one night and he curled up in my lap when I went to sleep.

    Problem is, we have a cat already and he fucking hates cats. Also our cat is gay and will rape the kitten's bottom if given a chance (he has a history of doing this). So I've just been feeding him and we put a little bed out for him to keep warm.

    Cats and dogs can be fine, if your dog is mellow. If your dog is high strung and wants to bark at the cat all day, the cat will be freaked out and things will be very hostile.
  2. gamevet's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Geen
    You're entitled to your opinions, but growing up I always had cats who were declawed and they never had any trouble and lived long happy lives. When I got my most recent cats my ex-wife thought it was cruel to have their nails removed so we left them in. Even with multiple scratching posts, they tore up most of the carpet in our bedroom and some of our clothes whenever they could get our closet open.
    Our first cat was declawed, because we had lived in an apartment, so we didn't feel the need for the cat to have her front claws. We'd moved into a house a year later and the back yard had a doggy door for our 2 dogs. The cat learned how to use the doggy door, and about a year later our cat was left defenseless against a cayote and got eaten. Our latest cat (brought in from Animal Rescue) has his claws and goes out on a regular basis. He's large enough to defend himself and has had no problems with wandering the neighborhood. We have 1 scratching post, and a scratching mat (cat nip on both), to ensure that is where he scratches. We've had no problems with our furniture or items getting damaged.
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