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Post Coital

Y'all Got Them New Xbaks?

Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.
The phone rings.
I muster up all the possible enthusiasm that I can and answer with a dead pan monotone, "Game Craze"
"Yo! Y'all got them new xbaks?"
"The one that was just announced that it is shipping to retailers and will be available by the end of the week?"
"Nah man! They just said it's out today"
"Nah man. They just announced that it is shipping to retailers and will be available by the end of the week."
"Oh...So what this Xbaks do?"
"Well, it does everything the old xbox does, only smaller and quieter. It also has a built in 250 gig hard drive and wifi adapter."
"Yo, how much would I get to trade my old xbaks in to get the new one."
"That depends. Do you have a hard drive?"
"Yeah man, I got that 160 gig hard drive."
"Really? Cause they don't make a 160 gig hard drive. It's 20, 60, 120, or 250."
"Well, all I know is it's one of those big ones. Am I going to need a memory card for the new system?"
"...that depends on you."
"Alright yo. You think you'll have any left at the end of the month? Cause I wanna come in on the first, trade my shit, and get that new joint."
"I'll be sure to put one on hold for you."

It amazes me when people come into the shop and ask,"Hey, do you have game X?" I reply, "Yes.", and then they say, "Okay, I just wanted to check." A white hot heat washes over me and I just want to grab them by the fucking throat and scream, "Did you honestly get up from what you were doing, get in your car and drive here, walk through that door with no intention of buying anything just so that you could ask me if I had a fucking game? How is it you can operate a motor vehicle but a fucking phone is too arcane?"
But I never do. In the end the possibility of a dollar going into my pocket is worth more than the airing of my righteous indignation.
If I'm going to be completely honest, my hatred and anger stems from rampant jealousy.
I wish that the grand sum of all my worries could be alleviated by knowing if a store had Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 in stock.

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Updated 14 Jun 2010 at 09:04 PM by Some Stupid Japanese Name

Video Games , News and Culture


  1. K3V's Avatar
    I think this blog is SSJN's way of getting around the racism issue.
  2. Error's Avatar
    I think SSJN needs to continue to take advantage of this format to continue amusing me with tales of videogame store shoppers.
  3. Rated E's Avatar
    This blog has great potential.
  4. James's Avatar
    I don't work video game retail any more. Even the stupidest customers were easier to deal with than just being in Gamestop and putting up with its management. This kind of thing would have been one of the easier parts of the day in comparison.
  5. Shin Johnpv's Avatar
    I did this for 3 years or so. Videogame retail is a level of hell all it's own.
  6. Calliander's Avatar
    I have a small penis and act surprised when crazy women act crazy.
    Updated 23 Jun 2010 at 02:57 PM by Some Stupid Japanese Name
  7. DirtySouth's Avatar
    You could start a website that chronicles the events from your experiences. It'll be the new Acts of Gord.
  8. Geen's Avatar
    I got an Acts of Gord vibe from this as well.
    I worked gaming retail for almost five years and, really, I miss it and the stories I gained from it. Like James said, management was the pain in the ass rather than the actual customers.
  9. Some Stupid Japanese Name's Avatar
    taken from the first blog entry, which i guess most didn't read, "So, join me and let's forget all of this was done years ago and to far funnier effect in Random Acts of Gord."
  10. ElCapichan's Avatar
    If working in the video game retail word has taught me, every race is full of retarded, dumb, insanely stupid people. For me it is the white trash that come in and shocked, and pissed at me, that a brand new AAA title is $59.99. God I hate people. I'll add my own tale of the retarded masses that happened yesterday.

    "Thanks for calling Gamestop... blah blah blah... can I help you?"
    "Yeah you guys have that new Assasins Creed 3?"
    "Assasins Creed 3?.... uh there is no Assasins Creed 3 yet, but Brotherhood is coming out in the Fall, and we have started taking pre-orders on it."
    "How much is it? Is it any good?"
    "Well like I said, it is coming out in the Fall so I haven't played it, and it will be $59.99."
    "How is Assassins Creed 1? I'v been playing 2, should I buy 1?"
    "I've heard a lot of people say they like 2 a lot more than 1?
    "So should I buy it then?"
    "That's up to you. Like I said, I've only heard that 2 is better than 1."
    "Any other good games I should buy?"
    "Well, depends on what you like, but I have a line of customers that I need to help so I can't really list all the games to you on the phone."
    "Action/advnture. I love me some of those games. Any good ones?"
    "Look, I have to help the customers so...:
    "What game? How about that new Assassins Creed Brotherhood?"
    "Again, it's not out until the Fall. I'm going to hang up now as there are customers actually here in the store that I have to help."
    "Oh, o.k. Thanks."

    Bunch of morons in this world.
  11. Gymkata's Avatar
    Dude....HALF AN HOUR from the end of the fuckin confrence I get a call as to whether we have the new Xbawkz when it come out. He wasnt as retarded as the guy you dealt with but there was no internal Best Buy shit secretly telling us

    Best Buy minions:

    In other news; Best Buy Mars is coming along nicel......

    It was something I only knew about because it was so slow I could look at Kotaku and the conference on the main demo screen inbetween the random customers that came through.
  12. Pineapple's Avatar
    Wait theres a new Xbox coming out?!?! Shit! Do you have it yet Paul?!?!
  13. Dyne's Avatar
    Why does everyone keep calling him racist? He never said the customer was a darkie.
  14. Some Stupid Japanese Name's Avatar
    They're all projecting imo.
    I clearly mentioned people getting into THEIR cars and driving to the store. Obviously, I wasn't referring to blacks.
    Updated 15 Jun 2010 at 06:40 PM by Some Stupid Japanese Name
  15. Michael's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by James
    I don't work video game retail any more. Even the stupidest customers were easier to deal with than just being in Gamestop and putting up with its management.

    If there's one thing shittier than game store employees, it's the management. I'm glad I got out while the gettin' was good.


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