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Dynasty Warriors 2

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Sometimes I feel like the Benjamin Button of gaming. I have this compulsion to play a game series in sequential order that keeps me from, say, playing Dynasty Warriors Next on the Vita without playing every musou game ever made first.

First off, why would I want to play DW Next, you ask? Simple: it's on the Vita, and I love that system. I have real feelings for it. You have no right to judge me. I want to play every game that even approaches respectability on the system because deep down I'm still scared that the whole thing will fail and these are the only games we'll ever have.

So, Dynasty Warriors 2. Wow. It's like Koei and Omega Factor are crouching down on my desk and taking a shit right into my mouth. Well, no, it's not that bad. Well, it is that bad, but I kind of like it? This was a bad analogy.

I started off with the first DW game on the Playstation. Turns out it was a Tekken-style fighting game. How horrid. I will never, ever touch it again.

Then I bought DW2. This is more like what I was expecting: big, fat, Chinese battles. Here we go.

You get to pick from 12 different characters (some major, some beyond minor) from the Romance of the Three Kingdoms novel/real-life era, whatever. They all have names that are probably the equivalent of names like John Doe in Chinese but are impossible to remember or tell apart from each other because they all consist of Xs and ten different vowels. Then you go to war.

To be continued...

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