Top 101 business blunders of 2002

"Click Me"

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14 Michael Ovitz is interested in buying one. Just don't tell him about the "Chinese health balls."
Nokia (NOK) subsidiary Vertu launches a line of high-end cell phones built out of precious metals like gold and platinum, with prices ranging from $4,900 to nearly $20,000. "This is an experiment in exquisite design and craftsmanship," designer Frank Nuovo explains. "There's a size-to-proportion balance that has a calming effect, like Chinese health balls."

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19 To: Dean Kamen. Re: Vibrating Segway?
Shortly after Mattel (MAT) releases its Nimbus 2000 broom as part of its line of Harry Potter toys, the vibrating device begins getting the wrong sort of customer raves. "I'm 32 and enjoy riding the broom as much as my 7-year-old," says one enthusiastic mother on Amazon. "My only complaint is, I wish the batteries didn't run out quite so quickly." Mattel stops making the toy, but denies that the unintended value-add is the reason. Says a spokesperson: "It's just not a continued product in our line."

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20 That's OK. We heard they all had a nasty stain on them, anyway.
In April, Abercrombie & Fitch (ANF) starts selling a line of Asian-themed T-shirts with slogans like "Wong Brothers Laundry Service: Two Wongs Can Make It White." After a firestorm of outraged complaints, A&F pulls the line. "We thought everyone would love this T-shirt," A&F spokesman Hampton Carney says. "We are truly and deeply sorry."

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24 Whiffed pitch No. 3: dead spokespeople.
To promote the release of its videogame Shadow Man: Second Coming, the London office of Acclaim Entertainment (AKLM) seeks volunteers who'll allow the company to put ads on the headstones of deceased relatives. Explains an Acclaim spokesperson: "It's a dark, gory type of game, and we thought it was appropriate to raise advertising to a new level."

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:lol:

Fabulous article, grazie. Some interesting things to learn here.

Heh, thanks! Great read.

8 Milton Friedman declined to comment.
In October, employees at a floundering car plant in Romania announce that they've arrived at a method to erase the company's $20 million debt: Donate their sperm and give the proceeds to their employer. One report estimates that each employee would have to, er, donate to the cause 400 times. "[Management] told us to come up with a solution," says a union spokesperson. "Now we've found one that even the best economists never thought of."

and you wondered what happened to the "Make 7-Up Yours" guy......

30 Whiffed pitch No. 4: sodomy humor.
In a spot titled "Captive Audience," 7-Up pitchman Godfrey hands out cans of soda to prison inmates. After dropping a can, Godfrey remarks, "I'm not picking that up." The ad is pulled after complaints from the group Stop Prison Rape, which, according to a 7-Up spokesperson, "had some very valid points about the ad being able to be interpreted a different way from what we intended."

:lol:

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29 OK, for the last time. James Earl Jones: much-admired actor. James Earl Ray: much-despised assassin. Got it?
To honor James Earl Jones at a Martin Luther King Day event, the city of Lauderhill, Fla., commissions Texas-based Merit Industries to create a plaque featuring stamps of black Americans. It reads, "Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive."

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Originally posted by FighterX
#30

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:confused::lol::bang::jest::noob:

87 Among its target audience, of course, the line between "date" and "prostitute" does tend to blur.

E-ECAD, a provider of electronic design automation software, takes out an ad on a Silicon Valley billboard that uses pictures of female archetypes to explain its three payment options: hourly (a prostitute), term (a girlfriend), and perpetual (a bride). After it comes under fire, the company puts out a press release explaining that the hourly woman -- wearing thigh-high red boots and a miniskirt -- wasn't a prostitute but rather a "date."

99 "Harness of pain" better describes CBS's comedy lineup anyway.
During filming of the pilot of CBS reality show Culture Shock, Jill Mouser is told to don the "harness of pain," which reenacts "a Native American rite of passage wherein a young man was pierced twice through his torso with a pole and left suspended in the air by the pole for a period of time." After she asks if the harness is supposed to "kill my back," a crew member allegedly says "Yes." Hospitalized, Mouser sues the producers of Culture Shock, which never airs.

This article goes a long way into showing just how clueless the average faceless conglomerate is: I mean, especially look at that Abercrombie shit. How out of touch are they? Im never gonna buy from Abercrombie - partly because its overpriced yuppie trash, partly because they're filled to the brim with ignorant, racist idiots.

Im reminded of that old Calvin Klein ad campaign - the one where they had bone-thin "models" in a room next to like a ladder while some sleazy male voice is like "take off your shirt... wow, you have a great body"... and when people started saying "hey this is kinda pedophiliac in tone" CK proclaimed ignorance. Its really unbelievable.

These are good too:

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9 Because nobody understands 12-year-old girls quite like a cattle rancher.
The National Cattlemen's Beef Assn. launches www.cool-2b-real.com, a site designed to "steer" young girls away from vegetarianism. Featuring enlightening articles and insightful quizzes ("What type of beef do you most like to eat with your friends?"), the tweener-empowerment site also has recipes for snacks like Easy Beef Chili, Nacho Beef Dip, and Beef on Bamboo.

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11 Whiffed pitch No. 2: swiping your competitor's idea and completely screwing it up.
In an attempt to blunt Apple's (AAPL) "Switch" campaign, Microsoft posts a page on its website, titled "Confessions of a Mac to PC Convert," featuring a woman touting the Windows XP operating system. It's soon revealed, however, that the woman pictured is a model and the touting comes from a freelance writer paid by Gates & Co.

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100 Here's one: We paid how much for that crappy slogan?
In an attempt to boost its profile, the Protestant church in Germany hires ad agency Melle Pufe to come up with a slogan to attract new parishioners. After nearly $1.5 million in billings and head-scratching of biblical proportions -- during which the firm's creative director calls Protestantism "a problematic brand" because it lacks a central figure, such as a pope -- the new slogan is announced: "Protestants ask questions."

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Bump: We need to give this one annother look.