Shenmue II

Dude...count how many times you use the word 'character' in this paragraph:

The cast of characters is also broader this time around, although that isn’t always a good thing due to some of the character bearing strikingly similar characteristics to folks from the first game. No one from the original game, barring Ryo (and Shenhua, who was in Ryo’s dreams in the original), Lan Di, and Iwao Hazuki is featured in any prominent way in the sequel. Although some of the most memorable characters in the original, like Fuku-san, Tom, and Nozomi are given quick mentions in the game, which serves as a nice way of tying things together from game-to-game. The new characters, who don’t resemble other characters from the original, are fantastic. Memorable characters like Ren, Xiuing,Yuan, and Dou Niu are introduced in this game, and they fit in just as well as the best characters from the original game did.

7 times dude. You need to work on that vocabulary and get past the 10 words you use and love.

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the character bearing strikingly similar characteristics

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LOL

I'm sorry, but Stibbon's Mock Review of SM2 shits all over this.

Personally, Jeremy, I've seen you do better reviews than this and the repetition and obvious lack of proofreading are pretty annoying.

I swear to god, you can't be writing how you talk and think.

I refuse to believe that anyone can be this boring, flat and lacking in personality.

Different strokes for different folks. You enjoy reading/writing one way, I prefer another.

Also, you generally don't want to say things like "Shenmue II’s replay value is solely determined by how much you are willing to put into the game. If you are willing to give the game a chance, and come into with an open mind, odds are, you will end up liking the game. If you enjoy a slow-paced game, you will absolutely love Shenmue II. Conversely, if you like fast-paced games, you’ll probably enjoy the game as well, particularly the action-packed (and QTE-heavy) Kowloon portion of the game."

All you are telling the reader is that if they like this game, they will like it, and if they don't, they won't like it.

Focusing on features/hidden things to unlock/changes in gameplay is a safer bet.

If you go with what's quoted above, you might as well just make the review:

"I like this game,
if you like this type of game, you will like this game,
if you don't like this type of game, you will not like this game.
I liked this game, because I like this type of game. "

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Originally posted by Jeremy
You two seriously make me want to just end my fucking life right now.

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Dude, 27 Times!!!!!

How in the hell do you do that, and then use Characters 7 times in one paragraph?

Seriously. I have to know.

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Originally posted by Jeremy
You two seriously make me want to just end my fucking life right now.

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LOL

MVS- How? Simple, that's what I felt like putting in there. I could have put in "predecessor" in place of original, but I didn't. The end result, meaning the message I was trying to convey, wouldn't have changed based on a simple word change, so I left in "original." For some odd reason, I didn't think of counting up each individual usage of the word though.

Do you want to know why?

Because you repeat yourself. Over and over and over and over and over again.

That's the definition of repitition.

You did not write this, leave it for a couple hours and then re-read it, did you?

If you did, you would have noticed how often you repeat the same words over and over.

When you use 'characters' 7 times in 1 paragraph, there's a pretty big problem, dude.

Lack of Originality.

I wrote this thing a few days ago, re-wrote parts of it, and posted it here. It's been re-read a few times. I just don't notice repetition too well.

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Originally posted by Jeremy
Different strokes for different folks. You enjoy reading/writing one way, I prefer another.

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Go back to the Original: