After eyeing this at Best Buy for a few months I finally found it at an atractive price($6 used) and figured it can't be too bad. After all, it was supposed to have zombies and Ninjas, that sounds kick ass. Holy shit, I couldn't have been more wrong. These are easily the worst movies I have ever seen and they contain the worst dubbing I've ever heard. I have seen some horrible movies and I've experienced some bad dubbing, but these two movies are easily the worst. Nothing comes close to how horrible they are...
Both movies are contained on a single DVD put out by some company called Shock-0-rama. I think that is their name, I can't be bothered to check. Why do they suck?
Zombie Doom
-Filmed on a camcorder from 1970. (Hint: The movie was made in the '90s)
-Laughable dubbing. Has to be heard to be believed
-3 Zombies in the entire movie
-Obsession with the words shit and puke
-Random foul language throw around for no reason
-Laughable special effects *I'll get to this below*
Put simply, the movie is trash. I actually shut it off 5 minutes into it on my first attempt at watching it. The dubbing is amazingly bad. Once I did watch it, I wanted to gouge my eyes out the entire time. For some reason, the word shit and puke is throw around every five seconds even if it doesn't make sense. You know how some movie reviews say the special effects were laughable? Well, when I say the FX are laughable, I mean it. I dare anyone to watch this movie and not laugh at least ten times at the absurdness at it all. You want examples? Ok. A ninja does a superman flight toward a guy. Well, this smart individual holds a machete in front of him. The ninja flies right into the machete an gets sliced in half. the whole effect looks like it was done by a five year old. It get's better. Someone drives a machete into a ninja's head and then kicks the ninja's head off. In one of the most pathetic excuses for a special effect we see the head fly across the landscape smack into the back of another ninja, killing him. Enough said.
Zombie'90
+Wow there are actually Zombies in this movie!
-Everything else
I think this is the worst of the two. For starters, it was filmed on the same low quality camera. The videos that you always see on the news from a store security camera look better than this. Get this, the dubbing is actually worse! The "main character" is given a 1970's blaxploitation voice despite being whiter than a ghost. The script is horrible and at times resembles an episode of MST3000 rather than a movie. There is literally no story here, the movie is nothing more than an excuse to showcase the horrendous special effects. You can see people throwing buckets of blood. The blood looks like orange paint. It is so pathetic. Half of the movie is a dream sequence that only serves to show of more special effects. This has to be the worst movie ever made. It just has to. I actually feel stupider after having seen it. Oh and the Zombies actually kill a baby in this movie. They take a baby doll and pull the head off. Then buckets of blood shoot out and they rip the doll in half. It's fucking stupid. Oh and a guy squishes a spider and the floor fills with blood.
Please excuse me while I smash this piece of crap. I'll leave you with a quote from Zombie '90.
*A guy picks up a gun and leaves his car to go into the woods. Before shuting the door he faces his girlfriend and says the following*
"Man I have to shit. I've gotta bring this gun so I can shoot the shit. It's the only way I can get rid of the smell"
