Weird shit happening again

So I'm at TEH DMV getting a new I.D. and this very cute girl comes up to me with crutches. Suddenly one of the crutches collapses and she nearly falls. I suddenly have an armfull of young blonde. Shy smiles at me in a coy maner and then starts crying. I noticed her breasts at this moment. Nice ripe natural breasts. She is wearing a, "I (heart) N.Y." patriotic shirt and I'm thinking that she's a cool chick. She tells me that the bolt fell out of her crutch.

I helped her into the D.M.V. and sit her down. The local Home Depot is right next to the D.M.V. so I told her that I wanted to take the other bolt from the other crutch and go to Home Depot and buy a new bold and wing nut. She says, "Okay. You're an angel," which of course I am.

I got the bolt (having to go through the self - checkout thing because a cheesy Mexican guy in front of me who works at the place started chatting with the checkout girl like an asshole - and no, he's not an asshole just because he's Mexican) and got back to the blonde. I repaired the crutch.

Just as I'm zooming in for the kill (phone number) a guy she knows suddenly walks up to her. Apparently they were dating and he just happened to be there at the same time she was. They hugged and kissed and she said, "Thank you! Have a nice life!"

Being bold, I said, "Hey, maybe I'll see you at school." (she told me she went to Mesa College while I was unscrewing the bolt). She just looked nervously at her boyfriend and smiled shyly.

Geez. How fucking strange. Almost enough for me to think it was an anti-war "happening" type protest because of her patriotic shirt.

Anyway, just now I went outside and played some guitar in the front yard on my treestump. Two goober smoocher cops in a car pull up as soon as I start playing and stare at me.

Naturally I winked at them and played a protest type song. I should have made one up on the spot about asshole cops. I hate that shit. Just because it's a nice neighborhood they feel they have the right to fuck with me when I'm just relaxing and playing some tunes.

Oh, well, so ends the report. :rolleyes:

You had me up until the point where you said you touched a woman.

I don't know if school's cancelled today or not.

In other news, my shit's green

En francais: mon merde est vert.

En Anglais. Parcher's weird.

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Originally Posted by burgundy

You had me up until the point where you said you touched a woman.

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Define, "had me" shweetie. :D

She'll never know how lucky she was to get away.

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Originally Posted by burgundy

You had me up until the point where you said you touched a woman.

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And this is beautiful.

you should have raped her......right there while she was defenseless. or at least grabbed a handfull. remember dude, its not nice guys finsh last, its the last guys to finish are always nice. you gotta TAKE that shit!

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Originally Posted by Parcher D.O.D.

Geez. How fucking strange. Almost enough for me to think it was an anti-war "happening" type protest because of her patriotic shirt.

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You're 100% correct, protests like you describe happen all the time. In 1962, 12,000 women protesting the war in Vietnam converged on the U.S. Capitol building in Washington D.C. on crutches while wearing I Love NY shirts and at the fateful hour of 12 noon EST, all 12,000 simultaneously dropped a bolt from one crutch and fell to the ground. Those lucky enough to fall into the arms of a bystander were allowed to leave with their boyfriends if said bystander fixed their crutch. Those remaining had to stay on the ground chanting anti-war slogans until SWAT teams sprayed them with high-powered fire hoses connected to tanks filled with fresh, steamy human urine.

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Originally Posted by Mzo

She'll never know how lucky she was to get away.

And this is beautiful.

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Oh pu-leeeeas. I'm a pussycat, kid. The most violent sport I play is frisbee golf at Morley Field.

http://www.morleyfield.com/course/course.htm

Peace, babe. And lighten up.

The abuse I was alluding to would have been far more mental than physical.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

You're 100% correct, protests like you describe happen all the time. In 1962, 12,000 women protesting the war in Vietnam converged on the U.S. Capitol building in Washington D.C. on crutches while wearing I Love NY shirts and at the fateful hour of 12 noon EST, all 12,000 simultaneously dropped a bolt from one crutch and fell to the ground. Those lucky enough to fall into the arms of a bystander were allowed to leave with their boyfriends if said bystander fixed their crutch. Those remaining had to stay on the ground chanting anti-war slogans until SWAT teams sprayed them with high-powered fire hoses connected to tanks filled with fresh, steamy human urine.

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Dolemite, my Father (Tom) played for George Bush, yes. He played his trumpet. However, he turned right around and critisized him on numerous occasions at Toastmasters meetings with members who work for the government. We realize he's got a stick up his ass over certain issues.

You're just not going to get anywhere whith your hysterical stereotpying. Sure, we're a little conservative . . . but we do it so that we can get a good audience.

We just think that discression is the better part of valor. That's all.

What would you have us do? Run naked in the street masturbating? We're trying to reach people . . . even you, dude. We think we've got a real solution. Instead of being a bitch why don't you make a contribution?

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Originally Posted by Mzo

The abuse I was alluding to would have been far more mental than physical.

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You're talkin doctor, kid. You can bullshit and remain completely obscure with that noise all day and not MAKE ONE SINGLE POINT.

Be constructive. Make a suggestion so we will all know what your problem with my family and I is, son.

Word. :D