Favorite Al Bundy quotes

Married With Children is the funniest sitcom, period.

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Peggy: HI HONEY!! How was your day?
Al: Well I came home, how good could it have been?

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[Fat woman enters shoe store]
Woman: I need shoes!
Al: The blacksmith's around the corner.

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Peg: Al, don't you remember anything?
Al:Not since I said "I do."

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Kelly: He's [rock star] got a house in Jamaica. Do you know
what I'd do for a house in Jamaica?
Bud: The same thing you do for a dinner and a movie?

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Bud: So may women, so little time.
Al: Only one woman, too much time.

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[During bowling tournament]
Puggy: Still a long way to 256, Bundy.
Al: Not for your wife, Puggy.

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Bud: Dad, when you were in school, did some girl do something to you so bad that it ruined your life?
Al: Yes, and you call that girl 'mom' now.

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Al: I want you to fan out and if you find mommy...give the Bundy yell.
Bud: " I wanna die?"
Al: That's the one.

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[Al works at Burger Trek]
Boss: You're a disgrace, Bundy. Clean your station!
Al [talking under his breath]: Marry a redhead!

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Not an Al quote, but anyway..

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[Marcy and Peg looking for a new job for Al]
Marcy: My friend owns a pit bull training school...He [Al] could work his way up to the man with the tranquilizer gun. How's his aim?
Peg: Not very good. You've seen our bathroom.
Marcy: And your children..

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Can't believe no one posted this one:

"Come on BAY-BEE."

And some others that come to mind:

"The only powers I sense around you are the mighty forces unleashed by beans!"

"Your mind, Peg, much like the lost city of Atlantis, no longer appears on any map."

"Let's rock."

"I'm your worst nightmare...a shoe-man with a badge!"

I don't say this often, but this is the greatest thread ever!!!

I love Al's "Let's rock."

All his "fat women in the shoe store" stories are priceless. "A fat woman godzilla'd into the shoe store today..." or "she was so fat, she had smaller fat women orbiting her."

God, I love and miss that show.

Id love to post something....but nearly everything is comedy gold. Its one of the few shows that I liked as it got older.

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Everyone has to live with their disappointments, unfortunately for me, I have to sleep with mine.

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or something like that.

Who can forget: "... I scored 4 touchdowns in one game!"

I totally quoted that during a Madden game on Saturday night.

Al: "Now, I don't know WHEN they started letting women carry nunchakus..."
(or any of his "I don't know when they started letting women" statements)

Kelly: "Daddy...one thing..."
Al: "Yes, pumpkin?"
Kelly: "When you go to shoot the gopher, don't stick your gun down in the hole, or he will bend the gun back at you."
Al: "......"

Al: "You're a CHICKEN!"
Marcy: "I am NOT!" *starts fussing at Steve with her head moving back and forth like a chicken*

Al: "You're in No Ma'am's-land NOW, baby!" (that whole No Ma'aM ep ruled)

Last year, I went to one of the Marlins' home game with 4 friends, and we all had No Ma'am shirts on.

People didn't know what it was, and thought we were gay and saying no to women =*(