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Originally Posted by Thief~Silver
Standing at a height of approximately 12 feet, covered in pale green flesh and brows matts of fur strewn across his entire body, with the exception of his head.
You wouldn't really describe something as being "covered in" flesh unless there was additional flesh, or you were describing its skeletal structure/fram in particular.
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The large stooped skull itself being an immense four feet in surface area, A bald mainly humanoid skull with a slight a bit of an extruded front.
His skull is "four feet in surface area"? That's a really weird way to describe it. I'm not sure if his head is supposed to be proportionately large or not...from the rest of the description, I'm getting that it is. Also, "stooped" typically refers to a person bent at the waist...hunched over. I'm not sure how that would apply to a skull, unless you mean just the forehead, which would look really odd (but maybe what you're going for).
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His ears weren't human like, no instead they were 4 circular depressions one within the other until it finally close to a small hold enterring the brain. Cold steel colored eyes were one of his human aspects, shaped like a human's only sized accordingly to his massive skull.
This is pretty clear.
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Between his eyes was the bridge of his nose, which seemed to roll like a hill, then back into his skull, before splitting into two seperate bridges with rounded dunes with holes for nostrils, leaving a small gap between the nostrils.
This imagery isn't really making anything for me. What I'm getting is something a bit more snout-like, with wide human nostril, and high bridge extending up into the brow...which could work since its face is supposed to be pulled forward a bit, like a monkey.
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The most monstrous aspect of his body was indeed his jaw, it opened to a 150 degree angle, going perpendicular to the ground while the rest of his head was parallel. Revealed within his gaping jaws was an abysmall pit lined with razor sharp teeth, 100 teeth on both the top and obttom, struck fear into those who saw it before they felt it's embrace.
An abyss and a pit are almost synonyms, so it's a little redundant. And that sentence is a run-on. Also, maybe a little too much technical description for something you'd see in novel. If you're making stipulations about the angles of heads for a jaw description to work, you're going about it the wrong way. Plus, 150 degrees wouldn't make it perpendicular to the ground when the head is parallel unless the head is naturally declined or something. Just too complicated. But I get the idea.
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His arms were well proportional to it, so large that if they were hallow you could fit a human with their arms at their sides inside of it.
Another strange way to describe it. Saying his arms are as large as a grown man's whole body is one thing, but no one really visualizes arms as a hollow, and since a person with is arms to its side and a really large arm already share (potentially) a similar shape, you don't really need to add that detail.
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The fur revealed only small bits of the muscles in which lined the beasts arms and had turned to the color of dried blood.
Because they had been stained with years of bloodshed, or was that just the color it happened to turn?
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Hands that could crush two human skulls at once with ease, massive and powerful fingers in a human-like grip were his weapons of destruction that he used to slaughter those within the halls of Herot.
Is the 'two skulls' quantifier a measure of hand power, or hand size? Two skulls just seems like an odd number to describe. Either the creature has the power to crush a skull with nothing more than its grip or not. You go on to describe the size anyway, and it's assumed that the hands must be pretty large to grab a whole skull anyway.
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His legs resembled his arms slightly, except the fur nearly matted them entirely, hiding his tremendous leg muscles and even covered the top of his feet. Feet that which had toenails which seemed to be able to rip through a body as easilly as any man's blade.
In what way do the legs resemble the arms? Just in that they're really muscular, but with more fur? That last sentence is funky too.
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Eh that's what I got, it's not that great so if you have any suggestions.
No problem : p I assume that's the text you'd supply as a description (aka Your Assignment) so you might want to refine it a bit. I'm going to go ahead and try to get a sketch done for you as is, unless you reply right away with some clarification.
