I just almost killed my brother

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Originally Posted by Finch

and then I looked and saw a kind of fear and hurt in his face that I have never seen before in my life.

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Ahh, what a feeling.

Your brother sounds like a worthless turd, but this whole situation was your fault, Vasteel. You allowed him to turn your spare room into a shithole and take advantage of you for months, which all boiled up to the point where you guys got physical. It's your fucking house, you should have put your foot down day one.

And frankly, I don't see how allowing him to mooch off of you instead of your parents was going to "help" him grow up anyway. Let the piece of shit take care of himself.

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Originally Posted by omfgninjas in iraq

I'm not understanding why he deserves any sympathy or understanding.

Boot him out and redeposit that check and fuck up his life just as much as he's fucking up yours.

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IAWTP

BTW, ninjas, :tu: on the Arnold/PS3 sig. LOL!

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Originally Posted by Vasteel

I did sort of a shin/foot stomp to knock him off balance (he's a good bit bigger than me) and went for a punch, but he tried to double leg me. I just kind of backed up and grabbed the back of his head, he kinda wrestled me around (still had ahold of my leg) and went to punch me in the nuts, I got his wrist, flipped his chin up, took him down with my knees in his solar plexus and an elbow across the throat. I was about to hit his throat when my girlfriend stopped me. I still held him there for a minute.

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Sounds like he tried to hurt you as much as you tried to hurt him. Ask yourself if he would have been as upset as you are if you had been the one lying on the floor with a "hurt and fearful" expression on your face.

I agree with the ones in this thread that say to tell your parents exactly what he did. I'm not sure what your realtionship was like with him up until this point, but family or not, you have to stand up for yourself.

Fuck, we tossed my father to the curb years ago, and to this day we still believe it was the best thing we could have ever done. Hopefully you and your brother can patch shit up before your relationship gets that bad.

Well guys, I want say thanks to all of you for helping me out and giving me advice on how to handle this shit. Here's the update if any of you care:

My pops just came up here and actually made him come out of his room long enough to talk with me about this shit and about what he plans to do (he'd shut himself up in there since all this shit went down). Basically I apologised to him for beating his ass (and I am genuinely sorry about that), but that was it. He still maintained a bunch of bullshit (and my mom and my other brother just want to believe his side of the story, and are basically being total felches towards me, so fuck 'em) but I just kept quiet about it, and when he asked me if "isn't that true?", I simply said "You know what the truth of all of this is. And I've already told nothing but that to anyone who asked."

My pops proceeded to tell me that how I dealt with it was wrong, and the next time I get riled enough to deal out an ass-whoopin, I better be ready to deal out 2 ass-whoopins, and I agree with him.

He then brought up how I was using his financial situation against him, and my dad called bullshit on him, told him he was acting like a child, and explained to him that he was just gonna run away from his financial obligations and fuck over me and my girl he'd better be ready to face the consequences.

I've decided to let him stay if he wants to, for a number of reasons (not the least being the price of rent). If he wants to leave, I won't do a thing to stop him, and he's more than welcome to. But I also had him sign a lease (something I insisted on when he moved in just as a CYA) and I have no intention whatsoever of covering his ass if he doesn't hold up his end of the deal. I'll just have my landlord go to small claims and get it from him herself.

I've laid out the terms of what is expected of him, and I will not ask him to do that. I've made it clear in no uncertain terms that if certain things aren't done I'll not say a word about it, I'll just give him a thirty-day notice of eviction.

Finally, I explained to him that I know a lot of what he's done (meaning stirring up the hive as he did and getting everyone riled at me) would probably be pretty embarassing if he backed down now. If he really feels unsafe or threatened by me (which I have my doubts about, and he doesn't have much 'legal' ground) or just is that pissed at me (more likely, IMO), then by all means, go. But if its just that he doesn't feel like he can back out of this and save face, then I think that would be a mistake, and it is not too late to put this behind us before anyone has any lasting consequences, but once that gets rolling there's gonna be no taking it back. The ball is in his court now.

Well i'm glad pops got in on this. Your brother needs to deal with a little of that family drama shit on his head.

Hmmm....interesting.

Mothers are just always like that with the baby of the family. Fuck that.

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Originally Posted by Vasteel

My pops just came up here and actually made him come out of his room long enough to talk with me about this shit and about what he plans to do (he'd shut himself up in there since all this shit went down).

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He's still there? And I assume he still hasn't paid you.

I would have sent his deadbeat ass home to momma by now.

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He still maintained a bunch of bullshit (and my mom and my other brother just want to believe his side of the story, and are basically being total felches towards me, so fuck 'em) but I just kept quiet about it, and when he asked me if "isn't that true?", I simply said "You know what the truth of all of this is. And I've already told nothing but that to anyone who asked."

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Should have called him a liar to his face right in front of everybody. No wonder your mom is taking his side, if you're not saying anything to contradict him.

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My pops proceeded to tell me that how I dealt with it was wrong, and the next time I get riled enough to deal out an ass-whoopin, I better be ready to deal out 2 ass-whoopins, and I agree with him.

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I don't understand. Is your dad saying if you fight your brother again, you'll have to fight him next? If so, that's pretty stupid. You bro deserved an "ass-whoopin." It really sounds like your parents baby this prick. No wonder he seems to have no concept of responsibility.

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I've decided to let him stay if he wants to

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Big mistake.

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Originally Posted by Dolemite

He's still there? And I assume he still hasn't paid you.

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No, he did fork over the cash. I'm certain he borrowed it, but that's for him to deal with.

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Should have called him a liar to his face right in front of everybody. No wonder your mom is taking his side, if you're not saying anything to contradict him.

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If it had been my mom, I probably would have. My dad called bullshit on him without me having to defend myself- his own account of events didn't add up and he said it himself- my pops just called it like he saw it.

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I don't understand. Is your dad saying if you fight your brother again, you'll have to fight him next? If so, that's pretty stupid. You bro deserved an "ass-whoopin." It really sounds like your parents baby this prick. No wonder he seems to have no concept of responsibility.

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I know what you mean, the problem is that I've gotten into too much trouble getting into fights or just losing my temper in the past. Never mind the fact that this was all several years ago and I've grown up a lot since then, and this reasonably could be warranted- I'd just look like I was trying to cry wolf. When it was just the two of us, he told me that he said that (and meant it) as much for my own good, because when a person has demonstrated hot-headed tendencies like mine in the past, even when its justified I have little ground to defend my actions. I can only agree with him on this.

Mind you, he's not saying, "you better not beat his ass again no matter what he does." He's saying, "you better feel justified in beating his ass enough that you're willing to beat mine too." Pops did tell the boy to his face that he did bring it on himself, and that I could have done at lot worse to him, so he needs to get over it.

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Big mistake.

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Possibly, and even probably.
Like I've said, I'm done trying to get him to do shit, he'll either do them or get the boot (and part of this problem was because I kept trying to get him to do things, when kicking him out was all I really had the right to do). I wanted to be nice and not a dick by laying that ultimatum out like any other roommate would, and I see where it got me. I do think he got the message and if he didn't, he's out.

It is a two-way street as well- his being here does help a lot while I'm in school and saving up for a house- if it works out it can really help get me ahead of the game. If not, I'll just boot his ass out, no skin off my back.

I think when he realized that nothing his mommy could do for him was going to save him from the financial repurcussions if he wanted to be a bitch about it and run out on his obligations, that no matter how angry with me my family might get about it, I was going to nail him to the wall if he dicked me over, and that if I did it wouldn't even be anything personal, he had a reality check. Like I said, it's his choice to make now.

Well, good luck dude. Money/business situations are always tricky when you're dealing with friends/family.