We are teaching our kids to be worthless and lazy

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17 Jul 2006, 11:36 PM
Fe 26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cowutopia

Everyone everywhere is od'ed on entertainment. The reason tv and movies and shit show whiz kids is because it is fantasy. Why would people want to fantasize about the way life really is?

this isn't a problem for adults who know better. But when you're a kid raised on it, and your parents aren't telling you how it is...
17 Jul 2006, 11:41 PM
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What exzactly do you want parents to do? Life will teach these kids those lessons. That's all there is to it. Kids who truly want something will work for it.
17 Jul 2006, 11:43 PM
Fe 26

Yeah, it will teach it to them, by the time they are 20. But then their youth is gone, and anything worth a damn will be hard to learn because they have already passed the "easy to learn shit" stage of their life.
17 Jul 2006, 11:47 PM
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Quote:

Originally Posted by stormy

It's more than that. Kids are so coddled now. They grow up with a sense of entitlement, like they are the center of the universe. My mom is an elementry school teacher, two of my good friends are as well, and my gf teaches high school. They have all chosen at points in thier career to teach at poorer schools because they hate the rich and middle class children and thier "involved" parents far more than the kids born on the wrong side of town. Parents need to back off, not buy thier kids every little thing they desire, and not give into this culture of gratification that is spoiling a generation on a whole new level.

What? So parents shouldn't be involved? I have been to poor and rich schools and "rich" schools usaully have more smarter, more motivated and self-driven kids than "poor" schools. I think a lot of that has to do with their "involved parents"

Quote:

Originally Posted by buttcheeks

Yeah, it will teach it to them, by the time they are 20. But then their youth is gone, and anything worth a damn will be hard to learn because they have already passed the "easy to learn shit" stage of their life.

So? If they really want it they will still pursue it even if it's hard to learn now.

Don't forget that when your young you really don't care about most of this stuff. You only care about school and your friends. Not on picking careers and gauging how hard it will be and how many years it will take to finish their goal. This sounds like general bitching froom an excess of nostalgia
18 Jul 2006, 12:06 AM
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Quote:

Originally Posted by avatar

What? So parents shouldn't be involved? I have been to poor and rich schools and "rich" schools usually have more smarter, more motivated and self-driven kids than "poor" schools. I think a lot of that has to do with their "involved parents"

Question, what exactly are they "smarter" and more "motivated" about. I don't really care if rich kids rock the spelling bee and are awesome at sports and karate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by avatar

So? If they really want it they will still pursue it even if it's hard to learn now.

That’s all fine and good for a few, but you are cheating your kids if you don't at least try to prepare them for the future. Letting them know that they can be really great at something if they keep at it, is one of those things.
18 Jul 2006, 12:07 AM
kedawa

Delayed gratification is bullshit. By the time you get what you want, you probably don't want it anymore. People are more fickle than ever.
There's still the sense of relief and closure that comes with achieving a goal, and the tendency to place undue importance on something based on how hard you worked for it, but so what?
As far as material rewards go, I'd rather people learn the intrinsic value of things and understand the need to provide for unexpected expenses and experience the fun of spontaneous gratification.
I hate the idea that you should only work toward known goals, because it's a very short-sighted way of thinking.
I don't save money for anything in particular, but I do save money, and if I happen to come across something that I really need or want, I just buy it then and there.
There's no need to put material things on a pedestal and covet them until you have them.
As far as developing skills goes, I don't think it's so much a matter of delayed gratification as it is gradual, or incremental gratification. People don't work out or study martial arts or go to university based on the belief that they will suddenly one day wake up buff, skilled, or educated. They do it because they are constantly seeing improvement(well maybe not so much with the last one, there are a lot of diploma factories, but that's beside the point).

What really needs to be taught is that the rewards that we're programmed to seek out, the cars and toys and vacations, are not what matters in life.
I don't want kids being taught to defer their happiness to some future toy or achievement, I want them to learn to enjoy each day regardless of what they have, and to realize that working hard is more than just a means to an end.
18 Jul 2006, 12:18 AM
Fe 26

Edit: just read the last bit of what you said. NM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kedawa

What really needs to be taught is that the rewards that we're programmed to seek out, the cars and toys and vacations, are not what matters in life.

I don't want kids being taught to defer their happiness to some future toy or achievement, I want them to learn to enjoy each day regardless of what they have, and to realize that working hard is more than just a means to an end.

I don't think I said otherwise. I agree whole heartly that part of being happy is knowing how to be happy with you have right now.

The topic was more about people who wake up 40 one day and realize they are know/do nothings.
18 Jul 2006, 12:19 AM
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Quote:

Originally Posted by buttcheeks

Question, what exactly are they "smarter" and more "motivated" about. I don't really care if rich kids rock the spelling bee and are awesome at sports and karate.

School. They showed up to class, completed their assignments and just seemed to want to be there unlike the many people I encountered at the poorer school. They just didn't care about anything education related.

Quote:

Originally Posted by buttcheeks

That’s all fine and good for a few, but you are cheating your kids if you don't at least try to prepare them for the future. Letting them know that they can be really great at something if they keep at it, is one of those things.

That sounds like a parents job. Not MTV. Also we look at these people and at the stuff they have. Not whether or not they have deserved it. The few episodes I have seen of Super 16 or whatever usaully involes a proud parent with a child that is doing alright in life. Not with spoiled brats who do jack shit at school, have no future and have no respect.
18 Jul 2006, 12:25 AM
Brisco Bold

Quote:

Originally Posted by buttcheeks

have you ever seen that sweet 16 show on mtv?

Holy shit. The first time I saw that I wanted to punch myself in the balls. It was so bad, I thought it was a parody.

Kids deserve to be beaten nowadays.
18 Jul 2006, 12:31 AM
kedawa

Quote:

Originally Posted by buttcheeks

Edit: just read the last bit of what you said. NM

I don't think I said otherwise. I agree whole heartly that part of being happy is knowing how to be happy with you have right now.

The topic was more about people who wake up 40 one day and realize they are know/do nothings.

Right. That's a really depressing situation, I'm sure.
I just wanted to point out that the pendulum can swing too far the other way as well. Being goal oriented makes sense for certain things, but there are plenty of people out there who are goal obsessed and measure their self worth based on things that are ultimately meaningless.
Parents who use their kids' accomplishments as a status symbol only reinforce that kind of (IMO) unhealthy attitude.

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