fucking Pringles bastards

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09 Aug 2006, 07:09 PM
Tones

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora

I bet you're the type who takes those huge massive dumps in publics restrooms, thus stinking up the entire area and making me hold my breathe while I pee.

I cannot take a piss at Apple without at least 2-3 people on the can taking the loudest, most ploppy craps known to man. And they grunt. Oh do they grunt. Is it really so hard to poop without letting out a nice "UGHHHHHHHH!"? When it hits the water, my GOD, you'd think they just released their entire intestines. I mean...BOOM. SPLASH! BAM! How is this even possible?!

TELL ME FINCH! TELL ME THE TRUTH!

Getting over my phobia of pooping in public restrooms was one of the greatest personal accomplishments I've made. The home base theory really sucks when you're not going to be home for like 5 hours. It just means you'll be farting those stinking sirens all over the place.
09 Aug 2006, 07:10 PM
FX

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora

I bet you're the type who takes those huge massive dumps in publics restrooms, thus stinking up the entire area and making me hold my breathe while I pee.

I cannot take a piss at Apple without at least 2-3 people on the can taking the loudest, most ploppy craps known to man. And they grunt. Oh do they grunt. Is it really so hard to poop without letting out a nice "UGHHHHHHHH!"? When it hits the water, my GOD, you'd think they just released their entire intestines. I mean...BOOM. SPLASH! BAM! How is this even possible?!

TELL ME FINCH! TELL ME THE TRUTH!

HAHAHAHA! Man! I hate when I really have to go and someone's inside stinking up the joint.....I can only hold my breath for so long, and I'm trying not to laugh with Joe Schmo dropping a fucking battleship in the crapper.
09 Aug 2006, 07:18 PM
Aurora

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tones

Getting over my phobia of pooping in public restrooms was one of the greatest personal accomplishments I've made. The home base theory really sucks when you're not going to be home for like 5 hours. It just means you'll be farting those stinking sirens all over the place.

Congrats! I have never taken a crap in a public restroom. Ever. It's less caring about what others think, and more not wanting to be fart-twins with the guy next door to me. I like making music, but not that kind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FX

HAHAHAHA! Man! I hate when I really have to go and someone's inside stinking up the joint.....I can only hold my breath for so long, and I'm trying not to laugh with Joe Schmo dropping a fucking battleship in the crapper.

As long as I don't have to piss, it's funny to go into the restroom just to wash my hands and listen to Joe Poopsalot struggle to let that massive turd break free from his anus. I guess. But peeing + listening to his difficulty = the most uncomfortable situation ever. I dunno why.
09 Aug 2006, 09:41 PM
Advocate

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora

II cannot take a piss at Apple without at least 2-3 people on the can taking the loudest, most ploppy craps known to man. And they grunt. Oh do they grunt. Is it really so hard to poop without letting out a nice "UGHHHHHHHH!"? When it hits the water, my GOD, you'd think they just released their entire intestines. I mean...BOOM. SPLASH! BAM! How is this even possible?!

TELL ME FINCH! TELL ME THE TRUTH!

When I worked at Red Lobster I experianced the same damn thing. People have no idea what a courtesy flush is anymore.

About the whole grabbing something not to get germs.

If its the paper towel dispenser ... use the dispenser before washing hands and leave the exposed paper. Wash hands then rip paper from dispenser. Use same paper to open door. Then use trashcan by host stand.

OR

Use Dial Hand sanitizer.

Oh and helpful hint. If you really have to drop a turd. Use the handicap stall. Its the most clean most of the time. Thats also the one that has the baby change area. Fathers usually complain about that one being dirty ... therefore the handicap one isalways the one cleaned the most. AND its the one emplyees usually use to get changed. This hint does not work in Mall bathrooms, those public stalls are disgusting. BUT A mall store like Macy's or Sear's, the hint applies.
09 Aug 2006, 09:49 PM
Tones

Quote:

Originally Posted by Advocate

When I worked at Red Lobster I experianced the same damn thing. People have no idea what a courtesy flush is anymore.

About the whole grabbing something not to get germs.

If its the paper towel dispenser ... use the dispenser before washing hands and leave the exposed paper. Wash hands then rip paper from dispenser. Use same paper to open door. Then use trashcan by host stand.

OR

Use Dial Hand sanitizer.

Oh and helpful hint. If you really have to drop a turd. Use the handicap stall. Its the most clean most of the time. Thats also the one that has the baby change area. Fathers usually complain about that one being dirty ... therefore the handicap one isalways the one cleaned the most. AND its the one emplyees usually use to get changed. This hint does not work in Mall bathrooms, those public stalls are disgusting. BUT A mall store like Macy's or Sear's, the hint applies.

Yeah, I've always been a fan of the handicap stall. It's nice having space as well as your own sink. At the grocery store I worked at, the handicap stall was its own bathroom, so the only people that ever used it were employees and sometimes handicap people. It was nice having your own room to yourself.
10 Aug 2006, 02:13 AM
Finch

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora

I bet you're the type who takes those huge massive dumps in publics restrooms, thus stinking up the entire area and making me hold my breathe while I pee.

I cannot take a piss at Apple without at least 2-3 people on the can taking the loudest, most ploppy craps known to man. And they grunt. Oh do they grunt. Is it really so hard to poop without letting out a nice "UGHHHHHHHH!"? When it hits the water, my GOD, you'd think they just released their entire intestines. I mean...BOOM. SPLASH! BAM! How is this even possible?!

TELL ME FINCH! TELL ME THE TRUTH!

I just shit on the floor and throw a magazine on top of it. It covers up the smell. Unless i have serious diarhea, and in that case, i just use the urinal, or a sink if i'm in the women's bathroom.

Quote:

Use toilet paper instead, man. THINK! There's not a door in there you can't open with your knee.

Grizzled. I'd rather use the back of my hand if i have to. And you people are just coming up with stupid shit now. Why don't i take plastic bags with me? Why don't people just wash their mother fucking hands? Didn't your mother teach you to do that? If i could change the world by bitching...
10 Aug 2006, 02:58 AM
Galaxia

Olean? I don't trust that shit.

I'd rather have my arteries clogged from eating regular chips.
10 Aug 2006, 10:26 AM
Diff-chan

I take dumps at work daily. I get paid for the time and I dont have to work. Its a mini-vacation.

I did not dump in public restrooms, though, until I lived in a dorm with a floor bathroom.
10 Aug 2006, 10:29 AM
Othello Harrington

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diff-chan

I take dumps at work daily. I get paid for the time and I dont have to work. Its a mini-vacation..

That's what wikipedia articles are for (street fighter is a nice long one)
10 Aug 2006, 11:44 AM
Dolemite

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora

I bet you're the type who takes those huge massive dumps in publics restrooms, thus stinking up the entire area and making me hold my breathe while I pee.

I cannot take a piss at Apple without at least 2-3 people on the can taking the loudest, most ploppy craps known to man. And they grunt. Oh do they grunt. Is it really so hard to poop without letting out a nice "UGHHHHHHHH!"? When it hits the water, my GOD, you'd think they just released their entire intestines. I mean...BOOM. SPLASH! BAM! How is this even possible?!

TELL ME FINCH! TELL ME THE TRUTH!

A few months ago I was washing my hands in the restroom at work when suddenly a guy I knew from HR darts into the restroom, nervously says "hi" to me, and ducks right into a stall. I hear, in the following order:

1. Belt unbuckles, pants hit the floor in a jingle of keys and loose change.

2. An instant, GIGANTIC fart/juicy wet diarrhea explosion/splashing water combo. That shit had to be flying everywhere considering the violence with which it hit the water.

3. The dude going "UUgghhhhhhhOOOOOHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhAAAAAAAaaa!!!!"

4. My footsteps, as I ran the fuck out of there.

I don't know why, but the fact that he was an older, heavy guy made it funnier.

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