D2 - Kenji Eno gives you pain.

So lately I've been collecting all the DC games I never got around to getting. Being the goofy guy that I am I bought all the quality titles when they were first released at full price, so now I am left scraping up the poo, and I don't think I've found anything that says "I am poo" more than D2.

I was kinda excited about this game when it was released. Not because it looked like a quality game or anything. I just heard it had tentacle rape, or something close to tentacle rape, and while that sorta thing seems to be all over the place in the Far East it's a rare occasion when we get wacky stuff like that over here. I'd always meant to rent it but for some odd reason it was always checked out, which I found disturbing. Why would anyone other than me want to play a 4 disc arctic tentacle rape drama? And who would enjoy it so much that they'd never return it? So. Uh. Yeah, I never got to play it. Until I bought it for $10 the other day, which was $10 that coulda gone to buying 5 copies of EGGS OF STEEL. I would've been so much better off.

The opening is hilarious - almost approaching MGS2 levels, but lacking any blowaway lines such as "I LIVE ON THROUGH THIS ARM!" Still, it was jolly fun. The airplane shootout, the chick deepthroating the tentacle, the "Even though they bleed green do they not feel pain?!" and "A Swede told me it's cool to kill bunnies" speeches, the barbecue...all tops. Then I had to actually PLAY the game. It's really a shame that all the great crackpot storytellers of the video game industry can't get all freaky without tacking awful gameplay segments in between the hour long cinemas. (Here's hoping XENOSAGA breaks the trend.) After 10 minutes of walking very s.l.o.w.l.y. through the snow in a miniskirt and killing a few tentacles here and there I gave up on the game and I'm not sure I'll ever pick it up again. Anyone out there manage to finish this game, and if so what's the ratio of terribly bad, hilarious cutscenes to terribly bad painful traipsing thru the snow? How long is this game? Does anything come close to topping the zany 20 minute intro? Should I just bury it in the backyard with my copies of Pen Pen Tricelion and Sengoku Turb? What goofball at Sega decided to translate this 4 disc abortion while leaving other quality first party Sega games in Japan?

Also, does anyone know what's going on with WARP? This is the first "game" of their's I've "played" - are the original D or Enemy Zero worth...um...experiencing? Did WARP go out of business? I vaguely remember reading something about that awhile back, and I think it may have been on video-senki, but I haven't been able to access that site in weeks. Heck, screw Kenji Eno. What happened to fen? Did GamePro eat the site?

They've stopped making games. No big loss, I guess.

:lol: That was one of the funnier stream-of-conciousness posts I've read in a while.

I haven't played D2 yet.

As for older Warp games, I liked D; it was an okay adventure game but I don't remember it well.

I own Enemy Zero on Saturn but I haven't played it yet for more than 5 minutes.

I bought a Saturn in its last days, I was feeling low at the time in my life, and the only game I bought for the system that day...Enemy Zero. Thank Suzuki Virtua Fighter 2 was packaged with the system.

NO WAY!

Pacrappa and I played this game today at his store, among ALL the other games he has there.

We played the import version, the one where the tentacle porn scenes were left in.

Absolute crap from what I have seen so far, but the music seems good, and I want to shoot and eat bunnies (in a game, not in real life).

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We played the import version, the one where the tentacle porn scenes were left in.

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So they cut stuff out of the US release?! What's the point of releasing the stupid game over here without hardcore tentacle action? Why would you want to play it otherwise!? This more than anything else is a shining example of everything that was wrong with Sega.

"We have a few holes in our summer lineup, and those freaks in Japan keep giving us nothing but shit that'll never sell. So let's just pick names out of a hat like we always do and rush this garbage to market before the PS2 hits the market and totally obliterates us."

"No no no. This is the new Sega. The only way we'll be able to overcome the Sony juggernaut is through hard work and well thought out decisions. Read off the list and tell me what we've got."

"Wellll...There's this excellent giant robot game with a special controller. The kids are all clamoring for it, but since its prequel didn't sell due to overproduction and poor marketing on a system no one bought it isn't worth it...We all know the fatties who play games are all pathetic virgins, but even they won't buy a strategy rpg/dating sim...Some wussy platformer with a pink little girl jumping around like it's 1989. It does have the RPG ELEMENTS! that are all the rage nowadays, but it's pink. We aren't going to beat Sony with pink...A game where you throw ping pong balls against every object in your house in order to annoy your roommate...And then there's the worst of the bunch...for some reason Japan has the rights to this 4 disc tentacle rape movie with occasional gameplay segments starring a gimply blonde stumbling around Canada cooking bunny meat on a George Foreman Grill."

"What's that? Bunny meat? 4 Discs? Created by the morbidly obese Kenji Eno? THAT'S IT. Our summer hit. Call the janitors and tell them we need them for voice overs again. I'll pick up my grandson from 3rd grade and we'll have him work out the translation. Make sure you cut out all the naughty bits. We want the game to bomb miserably - err, I mean sell sell sell, so it's a good idea to cut out the one thing anyone would be interested in buying this game for. Damn. This game is going to be hot!"

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They've stopped making games. No big loss, I guess.

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Well that's disappointing. I'd really like to know what Eno's up to know. Most likely writing erotic tentacle rape fan fiction or something. "Those moronic mainstream gamers, unable to appreciate the true brilliance of my work. Instead of purchasing my ART! they flock to their soulless, empty, worthless monster breeders, horse racing sims and Densha De Go's!, forcing me to close down my beloved WARP. I will get my revenge and let loose all my aggressions in this story, where their beloved Mario shall be violated in every hole by the great throbbing tentacle lord. *Ding!* Oh, my George Foreman Grill is ready!"

I dunno why he's gotta diss on Densha De Go! like that.

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Originally posted by rummy
So lately I've been collecting all the DC games I never got around to getting. Being the goofy guy that I am I bought all the quality titles when they were first released at full price, so now I am left scraping up the poo, and I don't think I've found anything that says "I am poo" more than D2.

I was kinda excited about this game when it was released. Not because it looked like a quality game or anything. I just heard it had tentacle rape, or something close to tentacle rape, and while that sorta thing seems to be all over the place in the Far East it's a rare occasion when we get wacky stuff like that over here. I'd always meant to rent it but for some odd reason it was always checked out, which I found disturbing. Why would anyone other than me want to play a 4 disc arctic tentacle rape drama? And who would enjoy it so much that they'd never return it? So. Uh. Yeah, I never got to play it. Until I bought it for $10 the other day, which was $10 that coulda gone to buying 5 copies of EGGS OF STEEL. I would've been so much better off.

The opening is hilarious - almost approaching MGS2 levels, but lacking any blowaway lines such as "I LIVE ON THROUGH THIS ARM!" Still, it was jolly fun. The airplane shootout, the chick deepthroating the tentacle, the "Even though they bleed green do they not feel pain?!" and "A Swede told me it's cool to kill bunnies" speeches, the barbecue...all tops. Then I had to actually PLAY the game. It's really a shame that all the great crackpot storytellers of the video game industry can't get all freaky without tacking awful gameplay segments in between the hour long cinemas. (Here's hoping XENOSAGA breaks the trend.) After 10 minutes of walking very s.l.o.w.l.y. through the snow in a miniskirt and killing a few tentacles here and there I gave up on the game and I'm not sure I'll ever pick it up again. Anyone out there manage to finish this game, and if so what's the ratio of terribly bad, hilarious cutscenes to terribly bad painful traipsing thru the snow? How long is this game? Does anything come close to topping the zany 20 minute intro? Should I just bury it in the backyard with my copies of Pen Pen Tricelion and Sengoku Turb? What goofball at Sega decided to translate this 4 disc abortion while leaving other quality first party Sega games in Japan?

Also, does anyone know what's going on with WARP? This is the first "game" of their's I've "played" - are the original D or Enemy Zero worth...um...experiencing? Did WARP go out of business? I vaguely remember reading something about that awhile back, and I think it may have been on video-senki, but I haven't been able to access that site in weeks. Heck, screw Kenji Eno. What happened to fen? Did GamePro eat the site?

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Rummy stick with it I finished and thought there was a great message it albeit wierd. You get access to the snowmobile which makes things easier and there are some really cool bosses. Hey what other game has images of Martin Luther King and Hitler in it? The game is short and you don't need to be maxed out for the final boss. You have unlimited meat and ammo which takes the rationing factor out of it.

The ending is well worth the price of admission but the story still confuses me.

Korian

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Originally posted by rummy
I was kinda excited about this game when it was released. Not because it looked like a quality game or anything. I just heard it had tentacle rape, or something close to tentacle rape, and while that sorta thing seems to be all over the place in the Far East it's a rare occasion when we get wacky stuff like that over here.

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Hypocracy at it's best... what a FAG. I guess I shouldn't use words like that, huh? It's kinda insensitive and not socially responsible.... not like tentacle rape... :rolleyes: You made my sig! Congrats!