If We Give Other Games the Contra 4 Treatment

When I was 7 or 8 years old, I played the hell out of Contra. At my house, at friends' houses, anywhere - it was all about 30 lives of carnage. If you would have told me back in 1988 that the newest Contra coming out in the year 2007 would only be playable like this
http://i208.photobucket.com/albums/b...contragif1.gif
with a gigantic fucking bar tearing through the middle of the screen, I would have laughed and said "that's retarded".

Turns out I just don't know how to adapt to the way games are today. Here's one spin on how to interpret that picture:

Quote:

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Well, when climbing up stages like the waterfall, you really should be paying attention to what's above you at all times and clear that out as soon as you can. It was the same way with the original Contra, and if you do so, the void shouldn't be that much of an issue.

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You got that?

If the gigantic gap causes a problem, it's because you suck at the game, not because of anything that the hardware is doing.

Therefore the newest lesson we must take from the DS is that having a gigantic gap in the middle of the screen for the games you play really isn't that big of a problem. In fact it can make some games ever better! Let's see how:

http://www.everstreets.com/bullshit/c4ds_01.jpg
Well hey if you're playing Ika right, those enemies should be dead already. Not an issue.
http://www.everstreets.com/bullshit/c4ds_02.jpg
Where's the projectiles? Who knows! It's unpredictable! Innovative!
http://www.everstreets.com/bullshit/c4ds_03.jpg
This perspective is more representative of what the QB really sees in football games - he can't see the whole defense when in a huddle. This makes the game more realistic.
http://www.everstreets.com/bullshit/c4ds_04.jpg
No editing needed! Innovative!
http://www.everstreets.com/bullshit/c4ds_05.jpg
If you're good at the game it doesn't matter which power up you get, and you already know when to jump. Not an issue.
http://www.everstreets.com/bullshit/c4ds_06.jpg
Unless you suck at Tetris your pile never gets this high, and even if it does, consider the void a challenge! Will your pieces fit? They might, they might not! Innovative!
http://www.everstreets.com/bullshit/c4ds_07.jpg
You don't really need to see that bar graph anyway, the important information isn't blocked. Not an issue.

Have any submissions?
Not an issue.
Send 'em here!

I always wondered what was so difficult about minimizing the gap between screens when they first redesigned the DS. I can see the benefits and possibilities vertical-wide gaming opens up.. but really, the gap hinders the benefits, more severely than not, depending on who you talk to.

But try making an argument, that the DS has plenty of room for improvement, on one of the more hostile game forums out there..

I agree. The DS shouldn't have a gameplay field that occupies both screens. It's always been a bad idea. Games like Sonic Rush deal with it by making it so the action focuses on one screen or the other, but rarely ever both at the same times. Even then, I'm not really sure what the hell the point is or why that's somehow better than just putting the game on one screen.

Is that guy milking that bunny girl?

OMG DOG$ DOESN'T LIKE SOMETHING BEING HANDHELD.

This is new and different.

Maybe so, but he has a point.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bbobb

OMG DOG$ DOESN'T LIKE SOMETHING BEING HANDHELD.

This is new and different.

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Yeah, but he's right this time, so that's new and different in and of itself.

This thread is a thing of beauty.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bbobb

OMG DOG$ DOESN'T LIKE SOMETHING BEING HANDHELD.

This is new and different.

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The motivation for all of this came from that initial quote I supplied.

What's new and different to me is that there are already people who are willing to ignore and spin what's clearly a visible problem in the game - a problem which isn't on my laundry list of repeated complaints, either.

Meanwhile I figured I was doing people like you a service by keeping the shit out of the other thread where was discussion was going. I suppose I could piss on that parade as well if you really want me to.

Putting a bar through the middle of all those screenshots is no where near the same thing as a game occupying two screens. This was really pathetic. Stop fucking whining about the DS already.