No, I think the joke's on you.Quote:
Originally Posted by BerringerX
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No, I think the joke's on you.Quote:
Originally Posted by BerringerX
I hope, for his sake, that she didn't. She became hella fat in a really short time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolemite
One time Hubbitron, Josh, myself, and our friend Annie went to some bar that had some sort of nautical theme...perhaps? Anyway, Hub told me to steal the wooden boat that held the menus and salt shakers and the such. Needless to say, I stole that shit. On the car ride back from the bar we took turns breaking it over our foreheads. Most of it shattered away instantaneously on the first blow, expelling shards of wood about the vehicle cabin, but the bottom piece was rather thick and took many whacks to break in half.
Is it wrong that I can't remember how many or which girl's virginities I've taken?
I can't say something particularly funny I stole, but I am kind of a valueless kleptomaniac. Stealing store signs, posters and other things that don't have a price tag. And I would usually jam them down my shorts for no particular reason.
One particular thing I am proud of, when my boss and I were let go from my job is 2006, we were allowed back in to gather our personal files and books (my boss had a entire 4x4 bookcase of his own books) from our lab. Well, my boss, in an uncharacteristic move, told me to take everything not nailed down that I could carry out.
Not including the two laser printers, I probably walked out with over $500 in groceries, kitchen supplies (tin foil, plastic wrap, tubberware, etc), office supplies and other odds and ends.
This isn't exactly stealing but it felt like it. Back in 2005, a local chain of supermarkets by the name of Stop N Shop had a Crazy Eight sale. Meaning, you buy 8 things from their crazy list of crazy groceries and the register will print you out a $8 off coupon for your next visit.
Well, they neglected to notice (or did they?) that there were some $1 items on that list. So you buy 8 of those, get a coupon, buy another 8 $1 items, get the coupon again, rinse and repeat.
So 150 cans of soup, 16 jars of applesauce, 10 jugs of Hawaiian punch, 40 celeste pizzas, other random things on the list and a 12 pack of paper towels (for the final coupon), I had spent only $20 (tax and leftover for some of the more than $1 items).
No, we didn't go through all that so when Thanksgiving rolled around, we donated the remainder. But the several foot tall and wide cube of soup cans was pretty amusing.
is this like the partially unrelated sex thread where we all try and one up each other by telling make believe stories!!!???
I once stole a handful of obscure mexican dried out chili-peppers from a supermarket, and bit into one on the way out the door.
Hilarity ensued.
Nah, everybody seems pretty legit right now, there is no "I stole Angelina Jolies used tampons" or such.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyne
Back in my days as a ute, me and a buddy used to steal the shit out of baseball cards and then scalp them at a card shop or a card show. We'd take all the good shit, too, like 1990 Leaf, 1991 Stadium Club, Upper Deck with the Jordan White Sox card, Action Packed, etc. One day I cleaned out an entire Walgreens of their Action Packed football cards and upon my final return trip that day, I asked the store manager if I could have all the empty Action Packed 36-pack (or 48 or whatever) boxes since they were all empty. He happily obliged, giving me three boxes, the same three boxes I had emptied out that day.
Not a gangsterland heist but for a young kid whose getaway ride was a Huffy bike, it was a pretty good score.
I stole a postcard from my english teacher from his ex-girlfriend. It talked about how she was invited to Anne Rice's house, but she didnt feel like going.
Not sure about funny, but I've seen a pattern developing in later years: BJ's Grill porcelain sugar dispenser, Sprinkbok shot glass, Baja Cantina pint glass, Outback bottle of Yardley's Lavendar Hand Soap, Dave and Buster's rocks glass, etc.