Originally Posted by Regus
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a god, an omnipotent being, with the powers beyond that of mortal men? Well my good friends, you shall soon have your chance, for you see, the pinnacle of arcade gaming, nay ALL video gaming, shall be arriving in stores very soon, and I feel the need to inform others, like you, lest they miss this once in a life time opportunity, I have come to spread the good word about this up and coming modern masterpiece “Smashing Drive”. But please be forewarned, for what I am about to tell you is not in any way shape or form an exaggeration of the truth, for you see, all that I have delineated here is nothing but the truth. And after reading this, many of you may feel compelled to run out and purchase this game, but I must warn you, Smashing Drive is game that assaults all the senses with a nonstop barrage of pulse pounding, video game adrenaline, and many of you will simply be to weak and fragile to handle it’s overwhelming power.
It is a distressing fact that many people will simply not be able to comprehend the sheer awe inspiring majesty that is Smashing Drive, for they are simply not capable of handling the complex multi-tiered computations and abstract thought that Smashing Drive demands from the player, for in a way, you do not play Smashing Drive, Smashing Drive plays you. Your meager human senses could not be capable of handling Smashing Drive once you’ve entered….the zone. Once there, your body becomes an amorphous blob of raw, unadulterated energy, channeled into a singular point of higher consciousness. Yes my friends, those whom have actually reached the zone come back with wondrous tales of the other side and what majestic treasures lie ahead for those daring enough to tackle Smashing Drive head on. But such lofty gains come at a terrible price, for you see, once you reach the zone (or “gaming nirvana”, as those whom have experienced it call it) you can no longer play another video game the same way, for once you taste the sweet fruits of Smashing Drive, all other games seem like bland and emotionless trite in comparison. It is believed that human beings only tap into %10 of their brains, whilst %90 remains a shrouded mystery. But after only a single Smashing Drive session, you shall feel as if the fog has been lifted, and first time in your meager, insignificant life, you shall finally see the world with crystal clarity. And you shall require such insights, for only those of higher caliber shall truly be able to bear witness to Smashing Drive’s glorious visage.
Have you ever gazed upon a sunset, or the endless expanse of the night sky? Such heavenly beauty, such glorious splendor, all are wonderful in their own right, yet pale in comparison to the graphical radiance that is Smashing Drive. Never before has a video game captured the true essence of the universe, it’s majestic intricacies and infinite possibilities. People may look upon Smashing Drive and doubt it’s visual achievements, but may I remind you that many people scoffed when Leonardo daVinci painted the Mona Lisa, yet today this work is considered by many to be the apex of art. The same goes for Smashing Drive, for many lesser beings shall find fault in the game’s ground breaking design, whilst gamers of a higher mental caliber shall revel in all of Smashing Drive’s aesthetic nuances. For you see, to stare upon Smashing Drive, is to look into the very eyes of God. But Smashing Drive is not only about sublime visuals, but also angelic audio as well.
Many consider sound to be an integral part of any gaming experience, and rightful so, for the sense of hearing is second only to sight, and no other game allows you to excise this sense than Smashing Drive. Smashing Drive takes the art of video game audio production to it’s zenith and never looks back, for it has accomplished aural delights the likes of which no mortal man could possibly fathom, nor comprehend. Smashing Drive’s sound track is so elegantly written, so eloquently performed, it has been known to make grown men weep in shear aural ecstasy.
It is a shame that Smashing Drive will not get the recognition it so truly deserves, for it shall surely be degraded by those of lesser mental capacity, yet universally praised and revered by any one who dares call himself a “gamer”. In the years to come the Smashing Drive nay Sayers shall feel the over powering brunt of their folly and have no choice but to bear witness to Smashing Drive, and rightfully place it within the upper stratosphere of the gaming pantheon. As I have stated before, it would behoove you to preorder this oh so sacred masterpiece, lest you meet the fate of all those whom have chosen the path of procrastination, and are left without a copy of their own, but instead are left with a gaping maw of anguish and remorse, which pierces the very core of their soul. This “game” (I use the term loosely, for Smashing Drive is more of an eye opening experience than any mere game.) shall sell out in droves, coast to coast., and come release day, you will have a better chance of finding a mint copy of Radiant SilverGun discarded on the street, than finding a store that has any copies of Smashing Drive left in stock.
You have been forewarned.
