New York

Hey, I'm in New York right now for holiday. I've already done the touristy shit, empire and liberty etc.

Impressions:
How the fuck do you guys deal with European tourists, they're some of the most repugnant, rude pieces of shit I've ever seen. They walk around in this ultra superior "This country is lucky to have me visit" way. All Americans I've met so far have been super nice apart from the immigrant food store workers that can't understand my accent.

Your TV ads are ridiculous; completely blatant medication ads, litigation attorneys, infomercials.

Is there any lesser known shit I should really do in NY?

Don't waste a day going to the statue of liberty. Not worth the time since you can't go to the top anymore.

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Originally Posted by AstroBlue

How the fuck do you guys deal with European tourists, they're some of the most repugnant, rude pieces of shit I've ever seen. They walk around in this ultra superior "This country is lucky to have me visit" way.

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We don't go anywhere they might know about.

New Yorkers tend to be way too hip for the room. The touristy bullshit is flypaper for undesirables. The fun "hang out" spots are basically all out of the way, and often literally hidden. A lot of the music venues are disguised as the shit that was in that location before, and sometimes has no signage at all. The hipsters don't want the tourists and carpetbaggers to catch on to them.

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Is there any lesser known shit I should really do in NY?

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Check out some of the comedy shows while you're in town. I especially recommend the Comedy Cellar. It's a tiny room that seats like 75 people in the basement of a cafe, but they book world class talent there every night of the week. You'll see like 6-8 good comics for like $10. Call ahead, it fills up fast. Caroline's and Gotham are usually good, too, but they're headline rooms (as opposed to a showcase room), so you need to like the headliner who's playing that night.

There are a million and a half cool music venues too, but it obviously depends on who's playing. Pianos is usually a good bet. Otto's Shrunken Head can be fun on the weekends. Arlene's Grocery usually has some good bands that are more toward the rock spectrum. There are literally hundreds of venues though.

Also sample as much of the food as you have time to, and get some good pizza. DiFara's is probably the best, but I also like L&B Spumoni Gardens for their sicilian, and Artichoke for their namesake slice.

Some of the mainstream touristy shit is actually pretty cool though, especially the museums. The Met is a must-visit at the very least. MoMA is cool as shit too but really expensive.

You should def hit up the Upright Citizens Brigade improv show while you're there as well.

Listen to Ramon talk about punching and/or fucking people.

Dude, you know how many people I have to fuck just to get onto my subway train? It's ridiculous.

I am a tourist attraction.

If you're in Times Square today you can send me a PM before noon and I'll meet you for a bit if you want. Got a show to catch tonight.

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MoMA is cool as shit too but really expensive.

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The Tim Burton exhibit's still going on, I do believe. There's some stuff in that we'll probably never see again.

MoMA sucks shit. I did buy a $65 alarm clock from there store, though. May be overpriced but this fucker can actually wake me up.

Haha, I'm out of town until later tonight when I'm going to Alicia Keys at the garden. Speaking of garden, I'm only going to one bball game while I'm here and it's in Boston :(

I'm here till Monday morning, then I visit the massholes.