House of the Dead :: THE REVIEW

[Jimmy Carter]

Excellent


Sounds absolutely horrible. I have to see it.

[Opaque]

sounds like it will be like watching a car crash... you know, so horrible that you can't look away!1!

[Green]

Damnit, I was just about to post that! My favorite part-

God, all but 2 deaths in film are this: A person gets surrounded by zombies, they crowd in and the actor goes, "Noooooooooooo." Cut to a profile of the character standing against a black background as the camera does yet another MATRIX spinaround and a red filter slowly flows down the screen and sad music plays. Jesus H. Christ.

[TaiMaiShu]

Hmmmmm...I'll still see it.

[Diff-chan]

Worst videogame movie ever. Its a truly sad world we live in when the best game movie is Final Fantasy.

[Jimmy Carter]

I must see this movie. I love bad movies; the worse the better. They make you really appreciate good movies.

[Diff-chan]

Originally posted by Jimmy Carter
I must see this movie. I love bad movies; the worse the better. They make you really appreciate good movies.

Oh I definitely agree. I love film, and I liken watching a bad film to a cleansing process; you appreciate the good ones you see after that 10x more.

[DArque Bishop]

Good God does Boll want to do a MATRIX film. The big centerpiece of the film is our group blasting their way through hundreds of zombies in order to get to a rickety little shack that borders on a graveyard. It might have been entertaining or even exciting if every 3 seconds he didn't cut away to either a MATRIX style spinaround or to scenes from the video game. I shit you not. He does indeed intercut the film with quick flashes from the first video game, blown up and pixilated to the point where you can barely tell what's going on.

[Jeremy]

This flick is going to suck so much. Can't wait for the DVD so we can hear the director's commentary. It'll probably go something like this- "Yeah, we had $12, and spent it on these AWESOME Matrix effects that really fit the movie."

[Ragnarok the Red]

Originally posted by Jeremy
This flick is going to suck so much. Can't wait for the DVD so we can hear the director's commentary. It'll probably go something like this- "Yeah, we had $12, and spent it on these AWESOME Matrix effects that really fit the movie."

Or it could just be a solid hour-and-a-half of him repeating "I'm sorry...I'm so very, very sorry..." over and over again. I'd pay for that!