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Thread: ...Cows?

  1. #1

    ...Cows?

    The Two Cow Economics Theory
    Explains What Makes:
    A CHRISTIAN:
    You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

    A SOCIALIST:
    You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

    A REPUBLICAN:
    You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

    A DEMOCRAT:
    You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

    A COMMUNIST:
    You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

    A FASCIST:
    You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

    A DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    A BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

    An AMERICAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    An ITALIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
    You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

    A SWISS CORPORATION:
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge for storing them for others.

    A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You worship them.

    A TALIBAN CORPORTATION:
    You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.


    http://vikingphoenix.com/humor/joke-0021.htm

  2. I'd seen this before.

    A MEXICAN CORPORATION:

    You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.
    My favorite.
    bastard of the new world order.

  3. hahahaha...I too would blame the godless American infidels if my cows died...

  4. A GERMAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
    Quote Originally Posted by Razor Ramon View Post
    I don't even the rage I mean )#@($@IU_+FJ$(U#()IRFK)_#
    Quote Originally Posted by Some Stupid Japanese Name View Post
    I'm sure whatever Yeller wrote is fascinating!

  5. #5
    A COMMUNIST:
    You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    In Russia, Cow milk you!

  6. #6
    !!!!!

  7. Heh...
    Freedom is a road seldom travelled by the multitude...

  8. An ITALIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    Thats the best..
    This thread is gonna be awsome.. its hilarious already!
    You can never be one of the dead, because something that has no existence can have no community.

    Frontiers

  9. #9
    WTF did cows evolve from? I have wondered this for years.

  10. Smaller cows who lived in trees.
    your mom

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