Originally Posted by
Master of 7s
My Square hatred is no secret on this board. So while I feel very much like taking the Ethugg route (bash the game and give no explanation as to why I harbor such loathing) with FF8, I will elaborate.
Story:
First of all this story was broken as hell. It made almost no damn sense from beginning to end. "Yes" says headmaster Cid "I want you to kill the witch Edea. Oh, by the way, she's my wife" HUH?!
"Yes" squeals Rinoa "We will liberate our homeland. Nevermind the fact this plays absolutely no role in the story whatsoever." UMMM....
"Look" everyone shouts "the moon is turning into marshmallows! AHHHH!!!" WTF?! When the hell was this mentioned?
"Oh wow" everybody squeals "what a coincedence! We were all raised in the same orphanage and there wasn't a goddamn hint or clue that any of us had even the slightest familiarity with each other! WHAT A PLOT TWIST!" Ok now I'm getting pissed off......
"Man" blubbers squall as he carries an unconscious Rinoa "I sure have changed! Where and when this took place in the story I have no idea, but it was the writer's lame idea that I go from a complete jerk to Mr Uber Nice Guy for no reason." Grrrrrrr........
And sure it was completely obvious by the end of the game that Laguna was Squall's father, but WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS HAVE TO WITH THE STORY?! Not a damn thing!
And the last boss. Pure and utter stupidity. Where did she come from? What is her motivation? WHO THE HELL IS SHE? ARRGHHH!!!
Characters:
Bland, lifeless, boring as all hell.
Squall
Annoying, whiny femmeboy, who treats everybody like shit then suddenly see the light because of "love" (cue fuzzy, dreamlike sequence with chirping birds and sappy music) *blergh*.
Rinoa
VERY annoying, clueless ditz who most interesting feature was her dog.
Zell
Idiot boy, man-child that served no purpose other than as pathetic comic relief.
Selphie
Bubbly, air-headed ditz with a pair of nunchucks probably larger than her IQ. Served no purpose other than as a dopey cheerleader.
Irvine
Pedophilic, prettyboy. Mildly interesting due to his Limit Break.
Edea
In your party for a total of five minutes. Why was she even a playable character?
Quistis
Ummm....what was point of her presence? She played no role in this at all.
Seifer
Whiny, mama's boy who needed to be shot. Probably the only interesting character in the game.
Raijin and Fuunin
Pointless y'know. Idiot attempt at comic relief y'know. LAMEST BOSSES EVAR! RAGE!!
Laguna and his whole troop
I only liked the black guy because he was a sarcastic smartass and had cool weapons.
Battle system:
Busted, broken, poorly implemented.
Draw/Junction system
A good idea gone horribly wrong. Must engage in 20 minute battles just max out one fucking spell. Wouldn't have been so tedious if you could've drawn more than nine spells at once.
Magic Spell
Utterly useless thanks to the draw/junction system. Ultima only does 2000 damage? WTF is this?
Battle length
TOO FUCKING LONG!!! I should NOT be fighting Malboro's for ten damn minutes at a time.
Limit Breaks
Sadly these were necessarily abusable thanks to the ridiculous battle times.
Guardian Forces
Sit for five minutes through the same animations over and over just to do a lousy 9999 damage.
Weapon Upgrades
You mean I gotta hunt all over the fucking map for one stupid enemy that has some meaningless item just so I can do more damage!? Bleh.
Leveling up
Too easy and essentially meaningless since all some enemy has to do is cast L5 Death and wipe out a maxed out party unless you're junctioned against it.
Music:
An absolute travesty from beginning to end. Uematsu at his worst. Nothing memorable, nothing noteworthy. Just bland, generic, forgettable, midi-based tripe.
And that is why I hate FF8. I played through this thing 3 times trying to make sense of everything and came out hating it all the more.
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